AIBU to think SAHM isn't an artist if she doesn't produce art?

[windygallows]

Woman I know has been a SAHM for 25 years but refuses to be called a SAHM and instead claims to be/wants to be called an artist.

Her artistry is more like a hobby that she does every few months. She has built a studio in her backyard to produce art but isn't there much. She has never sold her work, never had a show, never been part of a group show, never had an open house, doesn't have a website. Of course you don't need to do these things to be an artist, but I think producing work is key!

Her DH is part of a sort of posh 'cultural milieu' and I'm sure claiming she's an artist because it's a more acceptable title but come on - can you be an artist if you don't produce art, just like are you a writer if you don't or rarely write or a musician if you don't or haven't produced music?

Nasty thread, embarrassing to read the OP - full of envy and insecurity and a thinly-veiled agenda, but thankfully the OP has got the kind of responses she deserved. I doubt she’ll be back.

I'm not sure whose the stranger; the artist who rarely paints or the person who stalks someone, but hasn't met them I don't think?

“this is museum, she’s a wife” This made me howl for some reason.
Doesn't happen on MN often these days.

I am an artist and have a good business selling my art online. The thing is. Neighbours don’t know that I do a lot of art. How do you know how much she is doing, how many hours she spends doing it? Famous artists in the past have done art and not sold much but now their art sells for millions. She might have a big stack at art you don’t know about. Have you seen any of her art?

What an unpleasant opening post. OP sounds jealous, and sneering at others is never attractive.

She has never sold her work, never had a show, never been part of a group show, never had an open house, doesn't have a website

I don't think being an artist depends on whether or not you sell your work. My uncle was a hobby painter but towards the end of his life was producing some fabulous stuff. Van Gogh wouldn't have been mush of an artist by your standards.

She may well be rubbish of course.

Ooo, I like her style! I think I shall start describing myself as a domestic goddess, even though in reality I am a total sloven and do as little housework as possible. Do you think I could carry it off for as long as I don't let anybody in my house?

It's not your concern.

I think it’s harmless. It might be her way of retaining some sort of adult identity which (maybe) is easier for working mums than for stay at home mums. I think that’s quite understandable.

im a food critic

i eat food and judge it no i dont get paid

It sounds to me like you don't like this couple and they annoy you greatly so why speak to them/associate with them? I think if you want to speak to them then accept them as they are.

Honestly, why do you care?

I am a stay at home. But I am also a doctor. Do I cease to be a doctor because I’m currently a stay at home mum?

I've always felt it's for other people to call one an artist rather than to self-identify. I sell what I do but 'art' is such a nebulous term it doesn't really mean much. Last week a woman I didn't know came into the studio space I share, watched me hand-rendering some initials and told me I'm not an artist because...guess why?...I'm not a painter. Okay. She continued that she is an artist; she colours in photocopies of postcards. Again, okay, if it pleases her. It's no big deal what people call themselves, so long as it's positive.

I trained for several years to be an accountant but for a few years have been SAHM. Am I being pretentious referring to myself as an accountant!? I think not! What is your job title OP?

@Yogafanatic

Genuine question. All when people ask you what you do, rather than saying SAHM, you say accountant?

The question of self-definition is interesting. I don't refer to myself as a SAHM; I tend to just answer "I'm not working at the moment" if asked. I do 6-8 hours a week volunteering as a children's worker. I wonder if that's how I could/ should start describing myself?

Have you seen the cr*p ‘real’ artists produce today? It should reconcile you to your SAHM being called one. She has joined a merry band for sure.

You’re all over the place OP. So you only work with her husband and don’t know her that well...but can be very specific about her movements and know how often she works in her studio. Are you spying on her?! How could you possibly know?!

You think she’s ‘ashamed of being a sahm’ [insert concerned face] but then belittle her for relying on ‘a man’s income for 25 years’. Sahm bashing at its finest.

You either know very little and are just plain nasty, or an awful lot more than you’re actually saying and again are just plain nasty.

It’s not hurting you what she calls herself or how she lives presumably which only leaves the fact that you are jealous which I’m sure you will vigorously deny, but it’s either their close relationship in which he’s bigging her up irking you, or their financial set up and her lack of working that’s irking you. But if they’re not claiming benefits and are financially independent (therefore not draining society) and are happy ....once again, what has it to do with you.

Live and let live and inwardly roll your eyes if her husband is overdoing it a bit on her being an artist, but beyond that, let it go.

I don't define myself at all and find no reason to label myself.
I tell people what I do if they ask, but otherwise I'm a woman of mystery
Every day is different full of variables and moods, it's great to just be.

Maybe she's Bansky

OP has other threads bashing SAHM's she's a recruiter apparently.
Gosh, they employ anyone in HR these days.

Maybe she's Banksy that made me

I guess I'm a GP then 😍

Well, luckily, pretty sure the other couple don't give a flying fuck what pathetic judgy people think of them. So what if that's what she calls herself? So what if her husband is proud of her? If they're happy, good for them.

Here you are, OP, complaining about them on a public forum...It bothered you enough that you logged on, typed up your own thread. That's what you're doing with your spare time.
Maybe she's looking through PInterest at all the art and wondering what her future projects may be :) And here you are....being bitchy....seems she is the nicer person right now.

I'm really glad I am lucky enough not to have people like you in my life. Judgemental, stuck up, mean spirited. You might find you like life a lot more when you see that the happiness in people brings more content peace than trying to determine what they should or should not label themselves as, by your high standards.