AIBU to think SAHM isn't an artist if she doesn't produce art?

[windygallows]

Woman I know has been a SAHM for 25 years but refuses to be called a SAHM and instead claims to be/wants to be called an artist.

Her artistry is more like a hobby that she does every few months. She has built a studio in her backyard to produce art but isn't there much. She has never sold her work, never had a show, never been part of a group show, never had an open house, doesn't have a website. Of course you don't need to do these things to be an artist, but I think producing work is key!

Her DH is part of a sort of posh 'cultural milieu' and I'm sure claiming she's an artist because it's a more acceptable title but come on - can you be an artist if you don't produce art, just like are you a writer if you don't or rarely write or a musician if you don't or haven't produced music?

The people I meet rarely mention their source of income at all, and in response to a direct question reply in general terms "I work for the federal government".

Personally, I think it is nice that people define themselves by aspirations rather than the day-to-day grind. I suppose I could think of myself as an unpaid labourer, and my wife as an unpaid skivvy.

@Highheels1 with ref to John Cage...!! Never heard of that, dear god... Pretentious, moi?!

Further discussion elicited that they had not actually had anything published not was anything imminent. So saying they were a writer as opposed to my SAHM was one-upmanship and pretentious

That's your projection. Being a writer is not more 'worthy' than being a SAHP.

Just because they haven't secured a publishing deal yet doesn't mean that they're not a writer . They could write online content, copy or advertising stuff locally. They could write poetry. They could have finished a 700 page novel and be seeking an agent. They might not feel ready to publish. Who knows?

JinnyGreenTeeth
From my friends' experiences, doing a day job whilst you get sorted in thr arts is exceptionally common (especially when people end up being offered unpaid 'work' for 'exposure').
That said, I think BrightLightsAndSound sums it up. Someone who is working extensively on projects, building their network, working on lining things up in order to make it in their chosen area whislt working a day job is different to 'I play some songs at home'.

Op why does that matter so much to you?..if she feels happier calling herself an artist, then leave her to it, she isn't harming anyone, and whether she does art everyday, or every few months is her business and no one elses..and maybe she doesn't want to sell, some people do arts and craft just for the enjoyment and relaxation ..plus how can you know how much time she dedicates to it, you can't be at her house 24/7 watching her and timing how much time she spends in art...you may not see her doing art when you are there but she may work on it when you aren't there...

Why is it so important for you to have her be known as SAHM rather than artist?..why are you so invested in it to the point you ha e wrote about it online?

Are you secretly envious/jealous of her op and are trying to pull hr down to make yourself feel better?..

I think it's a recent thing within today's Trump - inspired, "fake news", social media - obsessed, selfie-taking narcissistic society that if you shout something about yourself loudly enough, this means it must be true. Evidence seems not to be required any more. If I say I am 21, but my birth certificate shows that I am 44, that no longer seems to matter - I believe I am 21 therefore I am! Start a completely unfounded rumour about a celebrity on Twitter - people will readily accept it as truth - real news is boring anyway. Say you're an artist but produce no artwork - hell what does it matter. What you believe about yourself is the important thing babe

Anyone can paint/write/play music to their heart's content.

But say, "I enjoy painting" rather than "I'm an artist". I can't bear personal PR and puffing oneself up.

I suppose I should add that I'm an artist, but alongside my ft job. I don't sell, but I have exhibited. Does it matter whether I call myself an artist, or does it only matter if there's a whiff of pretentiousness about it? Many of the artists I know are hard working, get-on-with-it types, and their art ranges over the genres. I do know some v v pretentious twats who 'make art' as well (stuff like John Cage!), but they're doing no harm.

No shame in being a SAHM either, so I hope it's not that. I wonder if she sells or exhibits under a pseudonym.... I do!

MaisyPops
Believe me, living oop north in an ex-mining community calling yourself an artist isn't always well received I actually have the opposite situation in that most of my neighbours think that I am a SAHM to a grown up son as I'm quite low key about what I do!

*have..not ha e

Again, no one - including the OP - has any idea what this woman's output is. Her body of work, her plans, her online sales, digital work, anything. She has a purpose built artist studio and she's using it. The OP doesn't have a clue how much she's doing.

And nor does anyone else, least of all those who are STILL judging away.

She has never sold her work, never had a show, never been part of a group show, never had an open house, doesn't have a website.

I don’t think Michael-Angelo had a website either.

HollowGirl
I can imagine! One of my friends comes back to our (not highly cultured area but probably similar to yours ) and when people hear she is an opera singer on nights out, she's subjected to "sing for us... sing for us... aww go on. Do you do that llaaaaaaaaaaaa (fake opera)?"

The thing is you just make your choices and the choices that are right for your family.

I can't bear personal PR and puffing oneself up.
Same.

I think they sound pretentious, but it's nothing to do with her being a SAHM.

I am currently writing a book, while being a SAHM to my DD. I'm not paid to write it, and I've never written one before. I don't routinely introduce myself as 'a writer' and my DP certainly doesn't swan around referring to 'my partner, the writer'.

However, if someone asks me what I do for work, I do reply that I'm writing a book, because it is what I'm doing for work, and I have every faith it will get published. I don't think that is particularly pretentious.

She may only produce a few pieces a year, have you seen anything at all that she has done?

OP who are you to judge what makes someone an artist? You seem to have decided there is a list of criteria- written by you!
It’s no skin off your nose what she calls herself, leave her alone and stop bitching.

@AbsentMindedWoman

'Being a 'successful' artist in the UK today is not remotely about levels of talent or commitment. You need to know the right people, and realistically to have gone to the RA. You need the skills to bring your art to the marketplace'

Totally disagree.I'm an artist, a very successful one. I create work for commission, for galleries, exhibitions, and I teach it too.

I didn't go to the RA, but I did put in a lot of hours doing other jobs to support me whilst my Art got off the ground., and now I'm working as an artist full time.

.....posted too soon

When I first started, because I had to do other work to pay the bills, I only produced a small quantity of art work. But whatever those other jobs were, I was always, and still am, first and foremost, an Artist.

So OP, you don't know her life, the daily minutiae of it, so whether she produces one piece of work a year or a decade, it's not your place to judge.

From my friends' experiences, doing a day job whilst you get sorted in thr arts is exceptionally common (especially when people end up being offered unpaid 'work' for 'exposure').That said, I think BrightLightsAndSound sums it up. Someone who is working extensively on projects, building their network, working on lining things up in order to make it in their chosen area whislt working a day job is different to 'I play some songs at home'.

Yes, but what I'm saying is that in writing, which is the area of the arts I know most about, it's not a matter of having a day job 'while you're starting off' -- it's that many well-established, prize-winning authors who are household names in mid-career aren't able to make a living from writing.

This is from a couple of years ago, but the average yearly income for UK authors was £12,500.

www.theguardian.com/books/2016/oct/19/uk-authors-annual-incomes-below-minimum-wage-survey-average-earnings

Methinks op is pissed off and bashing sahms, a sadly common theme here.
I know quite a few people in paid employment who are not qualified for their jobs, via nepotism, but have free and legitimate rein to call themselves the alleged job title. No it’s not fair but I think calling myself what I am and what I do truthful.
I doubt many run around in clouds of tulle going ‘I’m an aaaarrrtiste

If it's not generating an income to live on, it's a hobby not a job.

Same is true of "writers" with a cupboard full of unpublished novels or "musicians" who just knock around with their mates.

You're entirely justified in judging her to be a self-deluded pretentious wanker but you can't stop that kind of self promotion or self delusion. Be happy that everyone will see through it.

im the OP - and I'm not bitter and really there's no particular reason that I'm interested and it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but one could say that about 90% of posts on MN.

Over time it's just something I've found a bit irritating so thought I'd post to get other's opinions.

When I think about it what irks me is that the woman in question has quite a posh life thx to DH's income but is trying to co-opt a kind of bohemian artsiness with the label.

She has built a studio in her backyard to produce art but isn't there much
Where is she then?

has been a SAHM for 25 years but refuses to be called a SAHM
She's not a SAHM - she's a 'lady of leisure'.

How is the OP ‘bashing SAHM’ with this post? If anything, she’s bashing underproductive artists.

JinnyGreenTeeth
Ah right.
The people I know who are writers tend to do regional theatre things, pet projects (usually awesome) and manage to top doing other freelance stuff in writing that's more functional.

From what you say writing seems to be harder to make your main thing than music. Music's the area I know more about.

I think quite broadly it's hard to get into any more creative areas. I know of really talented people who want to work I curating for museums with huge amounts of knowledge and skills but can't get into it.