to think staying in bed until 9:30 is okay?

[BelindaBrighton]

I am usually up fairly early but am 34 weeks pregnant with my first and sleep is not a thing anymore. Baby kicks wake me up, I can't lay on one side for more than 20 mins, I lay awake for hours on end because I'm so uncomfortable, I wake up sweating etc. I finally fall asleep at silly am and sleep through to 9:30/10 on the weekend. This still isn't enough and I'm still exhausted.

During the week I work so am up at 6:30 on weekdays which is almost killing me, to the point I've vomited a couple of times I'm so tired!

I'm really trying, but sleep is one thing I'm finding so hard. Once I am on maternity leave I will worry less as I'll not have work to worry about.

DP thinks I'm being lazy. Wakes me up at 8 telling me I need to get up. It's starting to upset me. I need my sleep and struggle without it. He thinks I'm milking it.

Anyone else have the same sleep issues? AIBU to feel like DP is being an arse?

I'm pretty sure the only thing that kept me sane during pregnancy was about 12 hours sleep a night...

I've now got a 5 month old and DP got up with her at 6 this morning and I slept until 9:30, your DH is being ridiculous.

YANBU - pregnancy makes you feel exhausted sometimes. Throughout the week I was getting up at 6am and on the weekends I’d sleep in unti 9ish sometimes even 10am. It’s perfectly normal and acceptable imo.

My husband would be dead if he tried that on with me!
Honestly, BelindaBrighton, you really need to talk to your husband about this properly because if he's this daft now, I'm wondering how much help he will be to you once your baby is born?

I feel sorry for you OP, you need your sleep, your DH isn't in charge of you or how long you can sleep in. If you wanted to lie in until noon that is up to you. When Baby arrives you will have sleepless nights your DH should allow you to make the most of your lie ins and when you wake bring you breakfast in bed.

*sorry, your partner not your husband.

It’s 11.45 and me and the cat are still in bed. It’s miserable out, dark and pouring with rain so I intend to go nowhere. I’ll wander down to the kitchen in a while, make tea and toast and bring it back up to bed. I may even have another snooze. This is one of the joys of living alone. PS, I staggered up at 7am to feed the cat, barely opening my eyes. 😄

No surprises that this guy will be just as difficult and unhelpful once the baby is born.

He’s a wanker. He has no idea how tiring the final few weeks are. I’m still in bed, not pregnant just fat.

He's a cunt. Doesn't bode well for once the baby is here tbh.

Your body is working overtime creating his offspring. If he can't grasp that you need sleep then how is he going to cope with being more selfless when the actual baby arrives?

So firstly, tell OH that is not OK and he needs to find a new friend to go to the gym with. He's being pathetic

Secondly, tell your midwife how you are feeling, it might be worth checking your iron and thyroid levels

Thirdly look at buying a really soft foam mattress topper and a big body pillow, they were a game changer for me in late pregnancy for getting to sleep. In fact I made a deal with my DH when we went for our third dc that he would buy us a memory foan mattress when i got pregnant

Put a big sign over your bed. "Your pregnant partner has been vomiting from exhaustion. Please let her sleep." Maybe that will get it through his thick head?

No other children, and no reason to get up early on a Sunday? I'd consider telling him to move out for the next six weeks if he can't support you and care for your welfare. You need your rest more than you need him right now. Seriously...

I've just woken up now. Still in bed. And I'm not even pregnant.

It’s really not up to your husband what time you get up pregnant or not.

And he doesn’t sound very considerate. Have you tried explaining? He sounds like the type who will moan that the house is a mess when you are on mat leave and can understand why you haven’t had a shower by 10am. Suggest you make sure he does his share early.

Note AlexaAmbidextra's comment above. My cat and I stayed in bed till 10:45 today. It's cold, grey and rainy and I have no plans beyond cleaning out the fridge freezer and doing a food shop. So why fling myself out of bed if you don't have to?

Make yourself some food, and go back to bed. Tell him it's only appropriate to disturb you if the house is on fire.

He sounds quite the charmer. 9.30 isn’t late even for someone who isn’t pregnant. I am rarely up before then on a Sunday. Tell him he can wake you at 9.30 with a cup of tea.

Great! A man who doesn't need sleep! He can do the early morning wake ups when baby comes then
He is an arse

He doesn't understand, you need your sleep, have you actually timed how much sleep your getting in the night? Maybe if you told him you'd only had 3/4 whatever hours sleep, he would understand a bit better cus he probably thinks that because you've been in bed it counts as rest (which it doesn't when you're so far gone you are just not comfortable, I'm there atm).
If he is still guilt tripping you about lie ins then I'm not sure what to say. Also point out your carrying xxkg extra, and hormonal changes. I had this with my partner at first, he didn't appreciate how much my body had changed, so I just kept going on about what is actually happening to my body and he got the message, now he is giving me back rubs.
I'm not one to fish for sympathy but some blokes just assume women will be 'glowing' in pregnancy and need it spelling out to them!

I actually made him hold bags of sugar to show how much extra weight I was carrying around 😂

I still - more than 40 years on - remember that bone deep tiredness of late pregnancy. No amount of sleep was enough. The only reason he should be waking you is if the house is on fire. He needs to sort himself out right now.

Start shaking him awake at silly o clock to say you cant sleep, im sure he will get how it feels to have a shit night sleep

Tell him to fuck off.
You may or may not be exhausted in four weeks time.
Enjoy any sleep you can get, whether on the couch in the car in your bed etc - sleep!

What an utter knob.

You're growing a human - if your body is asleep then you need the bloody sleep!

I agree that you need to sort this out now as the tiredness is only going to get cumulatively worse.

And next time you chuck through sheer exhaustion, a strategic vomit onto him or something he owns wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Failing that, LTB & move in with lovely boss.

I was very fortunate to have a dh who was sensible (scared) enough to know not to wake a very hormonal and large person. I think it was some sort of self preservation on his part to be honest.
I would suggest I swift kick several times a night - it was not you, it was the baby. After a couple of nights he might get the idea.
Also, get your iron levels checked out - I was stupidly tired at that stage too, first pregnancy, so no idea what to expect, turns out I was ridiculously anaemic. And to echo many others, listen to your body and rest. Good luck

I do have children and would still absolutely remain in bed if I didn't have to get up!