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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think staying in bed until 9:30 is okay?

220 replies

BelindaBrighton · 23/09/2018 09:44

I am usually up fairly early but am 34 weeks pregnant with my first and sleep is not a thing anymore. Baby kicks wake me up, I can't lay on one side for more than 20 mins, I lay awake for hours on end because I'm so uncomfortable, I wake up sweating etc. I finally fall asleep at silly am and sleep through to 9:30/10 on the weekend. This still isn't enough and I'm still exhausted.

During the week I work so am up at 6:30 on weekdays which is almost killing me, to the point I've vomited a couple of times I'm so tired!

I'm really trying, but sleep is one thing I'm finding so hard. Once I am on maternity leave I will worry less as I'll not have work to worry about.

DP thinks I'm being lazy. Wakes me up at 8 telling me I need to get up. It's starting to upset me. I need my sleep and struggle without it. He thinks I'm milking it.

Anyone else have the same sleep issues? AIBU to feel like DP is being an arse?

OP posts:
Original poster
BelindaBrighton · 23/09/2018 10:06

So it's normal to feel this tired really suddenly around 34 weeks? I felt great a week ago... Sad

OP posts:
BlaaBlaaBlaa · 23/09/2018 10:07

He's being a complete dick. This needs addressing before the baby arrives....will he deny you lie ins when the baby is here?

My ex used to do this (we didn't have kids) and it drove me mad. I love sleep and think a nice lie in is one of life's simple pleasures.

Parker231 · 23/09/2018 10:07

He should be letting you get as much sleep as possible and bringing you breakfast in bed. For those with DC’s the same applies and your DH can parent them.

Samantha2018 · 23/09/2018 10:07

He's being a idiot you deserve a lie

blorgzorb · 23/09/2018 10:07

He should be doing everything he can to make sure you're comfortable and well rested, not trying to make you feel bad. I hope he has other redeeming qualities!

Samantha2018 · 23/09/2018 10:07

Lie in*

CarolDanvers · 23/09/2018 10:09

Sounds like a man who’ll not be taking his turn of lie ins when your baby arrives or who will not be allowing you the sleep you desperately need on the grounds that you Don’t Need That Much Sleep.

Put a stop to this NOW.

MinecraftHolmes · 23/09/2018 10:09

OP. 34-35 weeks is where I hit my "Officially DONE with pregnancy" point both times. The further on I got after that, the more I started to resemble Rachel in Friends when she was overdue...

Your DH is a knob.

Laiste · 23/09/2018 10:09

He's being a complete bastard. Pregnant or not it's not up to him to tell you what time to get up!

I'd be having strong words. Including the ones: mind your own fucking business.

timeisnotaline · 23/09/2018 10:09

Does he realise when baby gets here he will not only not be able to go the gym with you but will also regularly have to stay and parent instead? Don’t try to reason with him. At least not before you’ve woken him every time you wake up for several nights.

Oldbutstillgotit · 23/09/2018 10:10

Good grief ! I am not pregnant but am still in bed . DH has brought me a cup of tea and the papers and has gone to make me toast ! Tell your DP to piss off !

NameChanged231 · 23/09/2018 10:13

Agree with everyone, you should be resting when you want. And also no sense in being sleep deprived before the baby is here!

AngryAttackKittens · 23/09/2018 10:15

Does he not realize that when the baby comes it'll be all "ah, yes, sleep, I remember you, perhaps some day we'll meet again"? Tell him to piss off and let you sleep while you can.

NameChanged231 · 23/09/2018 10:15

It's totally normal to feel exhausted - you are growing a baby! I had lots of energy then, but my friend who who was pregnant at the same time was exhausted and just wanted to sleep all the time.

shallen · 23/09/2018 10:16

Of my DH did that I'd kill him!

10.15 and still in bed! 😴

Charley50 · 23/09/2018 10:17

I'm still bed at 10.15. Not pregnant.

Thishatisnotmine · 23/09/2018 10:17

I don't normally join in on 'your DP is a twat' threads but he really is being a twat!

Have plans? Asked him to get you up? No? Then sleep. Pregnancy is different for every woman and no one knows how it will affect them. If you feel like you need to sleep then do so.

NotTheFordType · 23/09/2018 10:18

Sorry if I've missed this, but is this your first baby with him?

Original poster
BelindaBrighton · 23/09/2018 10:18

@NotTheFordType it is yes. Very excited.

OP posts:
MrsBartlettforthewin · 23/09/2018 10:19

What a dick. With all three of my pregnancies DH insisted I slept when I could and only ever woke me if it was really needed as he is not an idiot and could see how tired I was.

Honestly, tell him to piss off and point out that very soon neither of you will be getting any sleep so you need to rest as much as you can now.

Holdingonbarely · 23/09/2018 10:20

He clearly lacks empathy or even sympathy. This is worrying. If he thinks you’re tired now and you can’t go to the gym what the fuck does he think it’s going to be like later.
I think you need to have a chat with him about how he views pregnancy and babies

garethsouthgatesmrs · 23/09/2018 10:20

It's normal but feel free to mention to your midwife.

I am worried about what you have posted about your DH. He sounds resentful of the baby and the changes that it will bringbefore its even born. Yo7mu need to be firmer with him. Tell him you will behaving a lie in next weekend and if he has a problem with it then it's his problem to find something else to do. Make it clear how much he is letting you down. 9.30 isn't even that late!

He has no right to tell you when to get up or to dictate how you live your life. He need a to treat you better than this. He really does sound horrible.

FlippinNora1 · 23/09/2018 10:20

It’s after 10, I’m still in bed. I’ve got 2 young kids. I’ve had a hard week and also hurt my back. My dh is sorting the kids - he kissed me on the forehead at 7am this morning and told me to get some rest.

Your oh is being really awful. Pregnancy is knackering and he should be being far kinder to you.

babydreamer1 · 23/09/2018 10:21

He sounds like an utter arsehole! Tell him to leave you alone. Make sure you have a good thump around when you wake up in the night and dramatically turn over sighing loudly, poofing your pillows then maybe he'll be tired too!

I'm 38 weeks and before I was pregnant I used to sleep through and get up at 7 now I often have a disturbed night (baby's 4am dance party!) and sleep late until 9:30 then lay in bed watching TV, which is what I'm doing now. DP brings breakfast and then either joins me or mooches off to find something useful to do.

Perhaps start mat leave sooner than planned so you can sleep and rest in the day while he's at work.

jaychops · 23/09/2018 10:21

Could have written that post myself (apart from the non-understanding husband).

30 weeks pregnant here and starting to get very uncomfortable. Kicks are hurting now and baby is very active all night every night, so not getting much sleep. DH has taken DD out for a few hours so I can relax, and I'm still in bed at 10.20.

Be assertive with your DH, tell him this is what you need to do and don't worry about what he thinks - you don't need that stress to add to your mental and physical exhaustion!

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