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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think staying in bed until 9:30 is okay?

220 replies

BelindaBrighton · 23/09/2018 09:44

I am usually up fairly early but am 34 weeks pregnant with my first and sleep is not a thing anymore. Baby kicks wake me up, I can't lay on one side for more than 20 mins, I lay awake for hours on end because I'm so uncomfortable, I wake up sweating etc. I finally fall asleep at silly am and sleep through to 9:30/10 on the weekend. This still isn't enough and I'm still exhausted.

During the week I work so am up at 6:30 on weekdays which is almost killing me, to the point I've vomited a couple of times I'm so tired!

I'm really trying, but sleep is one thing I'm finding so hard. Once I am on maternity leave I will worry less as I'll not have work to worry about.

DP thinks I'm being lazy. Wakes me up at 8 telling me I need to get up. It's starting to upset me. I need my sleep and struggle without it. He thinks I'm milking it.

Anyone else have the same sleep issues? AIBU to feel like DP is being an arse?

OP posts:
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 23/09/2018 09:54

Tell him to fuck off. He’s being very selfish and controlling, why shouldn’t you sleep? Tell him in very plain terms that you’re exhausted and will be sleeping whenever you can until baby comes and after and he has no right to try and stop you.

HP07 · 23/09/2018 09:56

Even with 2 children my husband let’s me have lay ins at the weekend. He knows that I need more sleep to function than he does and is very accommodating. When I was pregnant with my first I would catch sleep whenever I could, it was wonderful because I had terrible insomnia at night. He is being very unreasonable. He is not growing a whole human being inside his body, when he is he can have an opinion. Have your lie ins and make the most of them. Good luck with the baby. Hope you don’t have to raise two of them judging by this behaviour!

Waddsup12 · 23/09/2018 09:57

Jesus wept, my DH leaves me to sleep as much as I need and I'm not pregnant and don't have kids. It's loads better for my mental health.

Nip this in the bud. Does he complain about the state of the house too?

Original poster
BelindaBrighton · 23/09/2018 09:57

Even I didn't realise how tiring pregnancy could be until about 3 days ago when it hit me like a tonne of bricks, but I still never ever questioned other pregnant women who were struggling more than I am. It's hard! Worth it but so exhausting at the same time.

I'm just so fed up. I hear about these blokes who give back rubs and run baths for their pregnant partners. Mine has carried on as normal throughout the whole pregnancy and this sleep thing is doing my head in! He's done it since the first trimester.

OP posts:
Whalehello2 · 23/09/2018 09:58

Tell him in 6 weeks time he can entertain the baby every morning. You're gearing up for childbirth which is essentially being awake for 2 weeks straight....have as many lie ins as you need/can get right now. DS is 10 months old and wakes up at 6.20am every, single day....

Good luck OP, tell him to f'off.

ShesABelter · 23/09/2018 09:59

How many times has he been 34 weeks pregnant? Stupid arsehole.

bookworm14 · 23/09/2018 09:59

What a prick.

Sadsoul18 · 23/09/2018 09:59

Can I just add, I’m not pregnant and am still in bed. If someone thought they could dictate when I get up, I’d be seriously pissed off!

Waddsup12 · 23/09/2018 10:00

Plus if you're already this tired, it's not good. You need to be fit for labour.

PlateOfBiscuits · 23/09/2018 10:01

Grab some toast and a cuppa and get back into bed and stay there!

PhilomenaButterfly · 23/09/2018 10:01

I'm still in bed, I woke up around 4. I'm about to get up if DD wants breakfast.

SusanneLinder · 23/09/2018 10:01

WTAF...is he that controlling about other stuff?

ThePinkOcelot · 23/09/2018 10:01

I would definitely be waking him every single time you’re awake during the night. See if he’s skipping out of bed early on a weekend. What a twat!!

Spudina · 23/09/2018 10:02

He is being a dick. Pregnancy is exhausting and you need to get some sleep. I would be seriously be having words. It's very controlling to dictate how much someone sleeps. Plus 9.30 is hardly blooming late is it?

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 23/09/2018 10:02

Before you go to sleep stick a sign on the wall over your head saying "fuck off if you're even thinking of waking me up."

converseandjeans · 23/09/2018 10:02

He's being a knob. Yes wake him up in the night.

Original poster
BelindaBrighton · 23/09/2018 10:02

I've been tired the whole pregnancy. Second trimester was a big better but I'm trying to sleep as much as I can! I'm working 50 hours a week up to the 38 week mark. It's hard but that's when my replacement starts. I could leave earlier but want to do a proper handover. If I go in to labour at work then so be it. Chances are I'll go at least to 39 weeks. If I can just get a BIT of sleep at the weekend it'll make such the difference.

OP posts:
FrederickCreeding · 23/09/2018 10:03

I don't understand this. What difference does it even make to him whether you have a lie in or not? If you had children already and he was having to look after them, it might be different, but that's not the case. Surely he could have a lie in too if he wanted?

But if he doesn't and wants to get up, I really don't understand why you staying in bed affects him in any way?

grace7 · 23/09/2018 10:04

9:30?! When I was pregnant I'd happily sleep until 1/2PM. Blush

BumpInTheOven · 23/09/2018 10:04

Punch him in the stomach multiple times a night and see how he sleeps... what a twat he is...
You & your baby need the rest, and if he's going to wake you.. it needs to be by bringing you breakfast/brunch/lunch in bed x

Original poster
BelindaBrighton · 23/09/2018 10:05

He's not usually controlling. Not that I've noticed anyway. He just seems to have been stressed out by me being pregnant and clearly doesn't like that I'm not the perky lively person full of energy I was months ago. He gets upset he has nobody to go to the gym with anymore as we went together 🙄 at least he can still go without feeling like his hips are going to dislocate!!

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 23/09/2018 10:05

You don't need an excuse to sleep, it is up to you entirely. I love spending Sunday morning in bed, catching up on zzzs & am definitely not pregnant & don't even work full time Grin

Maryann1975 · 23/09/2018 10:05

I’m still in bed and have no intention of getting up for at least another half an hour. The dc are fine, one still in bed, other two playing Lego/minecraft/tv. They’ve been trained to get their own breakfast.

No way should your h be waking you up, especially if there is nothing else for you to be doing. What does he think you are going to do once you are up? Sit on the sofa and watch tv? You might as well be asleep in bed!

Autumn101 · 23/09/2018 10:05

Wake him up every time you wake up in the night, make as much noise as you can, turn lights on etc and see how he bloody well likes it!

At about your stage in pregnancy with my first I suddenly felt exhausted. I’d get home from work and nap on the sofa, wake up for DH to make me dinner then go straight to bed! Weekends I’d regularly stay in bed until 10.30/11 and have an afternoon nap........ Soon as baby was born I was fine but that last month I wanted to hibernate!!

LemonRedwood · 23/09/2018 10:05

He's a knob. I'm not even pregnant and I'm still in bed.

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