to think staying in bed until 9:30 is okay?

[BelindaBrighton]

I am usually up fairly early but am 34 weeks pregnant with my first and sleep is not a thing anymore. Baby kicks wake me up, I can't lay on one side for more than 20 mins, I lay awake for hours on end because I'm so uncomfortable, I wake up sweating etc. I finally fall asleep at silly am and sleep through to 9:30/10 on the weekend. This still isn't enough and I'm still exhausted.

During the week I work so am up at 6:30 on weekdays which is almost killing me, to the point I've vomited a couple of times I'm so tired!

I'm really trying, but sleep is one thing I'm finding so hard. Once I am on maternity leave I will worry less as I'll not have work to worry about.

DP thinks I'm being lazy. Wakes me up at 8 telling me I need to get up. It's starting to upset me. I need my sleep and struggle without it. He thinks I'm milking it.

Anyone else have the same sleep issues? AIBU to feel like DP is being an arse?

DP thinks I'm being lazy. Wakes me up at 8 telling me I need to get up. It's starting to upset me. I need my sleep and struggle without it. He thinks I'm milking it.

You sound like a very hardworking, conscientious person, OP. And your husband sounds like an arsehole.

My father behaved like that towards my mother and I - he was awake and up so the whole world had to be awake and up. Even though he did fuck all for years whilst we were up at 6.30 every weekday morning for work/school.

Hopefully this is a one-off with your husband but he needs to be kicked into touch before he extends his utter arseholery to other areas.

I got up at 11.00. Five minutes ago!

I am not at work and the children are old enough to look after themselves so if my husband kept getting me up and telling me I am lazy there would be hell to pay. Especially if I was pregnant and not sleeping well.

Your partner is a prat.

He can go to the gym by himself. He better figure out pretty quick that tiredness is going to become a way of life now and he’s going to have to step up

Your DP is a knob. My DH also accused me of milking it for many things, but even he would let me sleep when I was that far along. You need to sort it out with him because once the baby is here, you'll be dead on your feet for months! Sleep now while you can!

I felt awful from 35 weeks, same as you just couldn't sleep at all. Your husband is being really horrible. Medically you need rest. You feel like you need rest. Even if you didn't, unless you were meeting friends or something and were going to be late, it's none of his fucking business what time you get up.

Please sit down with him and spell out exactly how often you're waking up at night and how it's affecting you - you energy levels your mood and your pain. Get him to come to your next appointment and ask the midwife to have a word with him if necessary, he's being the opposite of supportive at this point and I'd be worrying how he's going to be acting when the baby's here

He sounds horrible. You should be getting as much sleep as you want. And he should be looking after you, like a decent partner.

I tend to automatically wake up early at 5.30am most days, but my sister likes to sleep in. There's no way I would wake her up if she didn't need to be up.

Your exhausted and carrying his child. 9.30am is still early. if you needed to spend the day in bed so be it.

Your dp is a prize idiot! My dh went out on a rare boys night last night and didn’t stroll in until 7.30am this morning. The twins woke up when he came in and rather than wake me, he took them down and got them breakfast. When I came down at 8 they were sitting on top of him on the sofa while he was snoring away! I sent him straight up to bed

Your boss seems to have more empathy than your DP, who yes, is an arsehole. DH wouldn't have dared drag me out of bed and call me names when I was pregnant. Or any other time for that matter. And once I was on leave 10am was my standard wake up time. He can eff off.

I finished work at 35weeks and slept until 10 onwards most days plus had a 2hour nap most afternoons as I was exhausted. I only got up at 9.30 this morning and have a 6week old. I fed her at half 6 and then DH took her downstairs to nap/play until she it was time for her next feed. Get as much sleep as you can!

Has you dh had some sort of empathy bypass?
You're growing a HUMAN BEING inside you, ffs.
I really hope this isn't the shape of things to come once the baby's here.

And yes, kick him awake every single time you are awake during the night.

Why does he want you up? I refuse to get up early at the weekend unless we have plans. DP is up at 6.30. DD gets up at 7 ish, I have a lovely lie in. No point in all of us being up if we don’t have to be. If he woke me at 8 for anything other than a house fire, I’d swear at him.

you sound the opposite of lazy, you're working loads!!! He's being an utter knob. When you can't sleep in the night poke him awake and tell him he's being lazy as you're awake then he should be too if that's what he thinks. Make him drink a loads of water so he constantly needs to pee. Make him lie on a load of rolled up socks digging into his back at night too, and maybe strap some bags of sugar to his stomach so he cant wiggle around so much.

what a fucking twat he is

He is being a prize prick.

I recently (as in beginning of the week) had to terminate a twin pregnancy.
So I'm not even pregnant now, but i still laid in bed until 9.20 when i woke on my own. DP was downstairs with our 3 DC, despite the fact he is a SAHD and is with them all week without a break because i work 45 hours and with travel im out of the house from 7.30-6.30/7.00

Usually i would get up on Sunday (Saturday is my lie in day, Sunday is his) but I'm off work all next week and he also understands that i have physically been through a lot so need to recover...

You are 34 weeks pregnant! That does a lot to your body. You are clearly exhausted. He needs to be told that you need to sleep.

I'm just trying to think of the swear words I would hurl at dh if he tried to suggest I should get up at a time of his choosing.

@BelindaBrighton
OP shame you didn’t marry your boss, seriously only time my DH woke me during pregnancy was to bring me dinner after I’d passed out on the couch following work.
He sounds really immature at best and controlling at worst, maybe speak to your midwife and let her explain how important sleep is right now AND when baby arrives.
👶🏽💐💐

I got up at 9.30 and I am not pregnant (but enjoying the fact that my children are now old enough to either sleep late or entertain themselves). The only thing that keeps me going in the week is knowing I can have a lie in at the weekend. He is being a dick

I am not pregnant but still in bed with a hot chocolate. You have every right to have a lie in.

Maybe tell your DH that his lack of understanding about pregnancy has made you worried about his lack of preparation for you DC and present him with a book about childrens development and tell him you will ask him questions to ensure he has understood the book. Because if he shows the same lack of understanding with the children and moan that your two year old can't do things that no one in their right mind would expect a child to be able to do before the child is five, or even worse, punishes the child for not being able to do things like that, you will get very, very angry with him. Yes, I know it is patronising, but he started it.

I hope you've shown your DP this thread OP. He needs to know what an arse he's being. He sounds like a demanding child and has no understanding or empathy. Tell him that there are people on here wondering why you would want to have a baby with him in the first place!

Why the fuck is he waking you up?

I think your body is telling you you need to rest, and you must.

I went through the same thing at 32/33 weeks, like being hit by a sledgehammer in an otherwise easy pregnancy, was commuting and working hard in a Big Job.

My midwife had a stern word about needing to rest and switch out of work gear and into baby gear. I decided to finish work early, at 34 weeks, and my first came at 37 weeks.

Another thread about a useless partner. Why do women settle for these arseholes. Good luck when the baby comes OP, he sounds like a peach

YANBU

More to the point, you are an adult and should be trusted to listen to your body. Please rest x

I don't get up on a Sunday till the kids get up, dd never woke up till 10am today so we got a really good sleep in. That's what Sundays are for to relax and recharge.