to think staying in bed until 9:30 is okay?

[BelindaBrighton]

I am usually up fairly early but am 34 weeks pregnant with my first and sleep is not a thing anymore. Baby kicks wake me up, I can't lay on one side for more than 20 mins, I lay awake for hours on end because I'm so uncomfortable, I wake up sweating etc. I finally fall asleep at silly am and sleep through to 9:30/10 on the weekend. This still isn't enough and I'm still exhausted.

During the week I work so am up at 6:30 on weekdays which is almost killing me, to the point I've vomited a couple of times I'm so tired!

I'm really trying, but sleep is one thing I'm finding so hard. Once I am on maternity leave I will worry less as I'll not have work to worry about.

DP thinks I'm being lazy. Wakes me up at 8 telling me I need to get up. It's starting to upset me. I need my sleep and struggle without it. He thinks I'm milking it.

Anyone else have the same sleep issues? AIBU to feel like DP is being an arse?

DH once called me lazy when I was pregnant, for "lying on the sofa drinking milk and water all day." I was lying on the sofa because I was knackered, drinking milk to try and put weight on because unborn DS2 was stealing all my food and I was losing weight everywhere except the bump, and drinking water because I was thirsty. He had no fucking clue.

I'm pregnant and have a one year old. When I need to sleep my husband gets up with my son and leaves me alone because he understands that I am making our child and it's more than a little tiring. Sleep and tell him to shut up.

You DP is being ridiculous! I used to sleep as much as I could - and if that meant a long lay in then great! The babies (twins) used to kick so much it was hard to sleep sometimes so any sleep was welcome! Plus... does anyone actually get up at 8am on a Sunday if they don't have plans or kids to look after/animals to let out? I just got up at 10:15, showered and kind of dressed, now relaxing on sofa. I am not pregant, my 2 DS are 16 and up and out with the dog and are fairly self sufficient so need for me to help them. In the week I get up at 6:25am back around 7:30pm so I find that tough and take advantage of rest at weekend. Sometimes, if I've had a tough week that could be 11:30am! So please don't feel bad.

“There are only two conditions where you’re allowed to wake up a woman on a lie-in: it’s snowing or the death of a celebrity.”

• Micheal Macintyre

But seriously, that does sound worrying. You're working 50 hour weeks and he thinks you're "milking it" to want to sleep past 8am on the weekend?! . Sounds very controlling.

OP. Show him this thread and maybe he will get the message!

You're up at 6.30am, working 50 hours a week up until 38 weeks pregnant? No wonder you're knackered and need your sleep,pregnancy in itself can be tiring!
Don't usually say this on here, but your "D" P is being an arse if he's bee doing that to you since the 2nd trimester, no wonder you want your sleep.
Don't think mine would do it for that long, I'm unbearable if woken up too early!
Agree with others, when baby's here make sure he wakes up early too. All innocently "because I know you like getting up early."
Then keep repeating every morning for a while.
Presuming you've told him how much it upsets you and you want leaving alone and not just pretended you're OK with it?
If you've told him and he keeps doing it, crack on, he deserves all he gets and karma time when you're up early in the mornings with baby lol.

Tell him where to go!! Prat.

I'm with everyone else, he's an idiot.

Sleep is so important right now, and you need to maximise your weekend sleep.

For what its worth, don't discount your lie in forever, some babies do sleep in late, people just don't tend to mention them. Sometimes I have to wake my toddler, and the same with some of my friends. OK, it's not an 11am lie in, but 8.30 is fairly standard for her, and if she's been up in the night, or feeling particularly lazy then maybe up to 9.30ish. So you may get lucky.

34 weeks pregnant, working long hours your you supposed partner in this child is too immature to go to the gym without mummy so expects you to get up early and hold his hand? At 34 weeks?

He's a gold plated dick with extra knobs on.

However what would bother me more is what he is going to be like after the baby is born. If he is too self absorbed to consider your well being now, why would he change afterward when you need him to some share of parenting because you haven't slept in days.

I'm not pregnant but at 10.47am today I'm still in bed and dh has just brought me a coffee. I have 3dc ages 7-10 so they are happy to get up and entertain themselves one morning a week. Rest of the week I work full time and run 3 dc round etc. Am I being lazy today? Yes, because it's perfectly okay to do that and I'm a grown up so can decide myself what sleep I want.

You're growing a human and your dp is not your father!

34 weeks pregnant, working long hours your you supposed partner

Sorry should be "and your" not "your you".

Oh for an edit button

I'm confused about why you would even entertain him OP. If my DP tried to dictate that I get up at 8am for no reason and implied I was lazy I would not put up with it regardless of whether I was pregnant or not. How dare he do that to you.

As it happens I am 38 weeks pregnant and whenever my husband is off work he gets up with DS so I can lay in as i am growing a human inside me which is exhausting. If he wanted a lay in (he is a morning person so he doesn't often want one) then I wouldn't pass any judgement as he is an adult and having a bit of sleep on your day off is not "lazy".

Once the baby is here sleep is likely to become an even bigger issue and this will be difficult if your DP will not work as a team with you. I hope you can speak to him about this and help him change his views. Good luck xx

Why does he not seem to get that pregnancy will have a big impact on you physically and of course you will need more rest and won't feel like going to the gym, is he a bit hard of understanding? Surely any grown man should know that this is a major lifestyle change for both of you.

Tell him to fuck off!! I am 32 weeks and still in bed! Also, don't work until 38 weeks out of obligation. My replacement still isn't sorted, it's not like they haven't known when it's going to be. I feel bad for my team and I will do everything I can to make an easier handover, but it's a high stress job and I need time in between finishing and the baby coming, I'd say you do to! Don't be a martyr, no one will actually thank you for it, do what's best for you

Your DH is being completely unreasonable for all the reasons stated above.

Gosh enjoy your lie ins while you can. The last few weeks of pregnancy are exhausting.
A red flag for me is that he doesn't like the change in your personality and is trying to force you to get up. I hope he understands you both will change with a child. Going to the gym together will be difficult when you have a baby to look after.

Op, adults manage their on sleep and rest needs. As a grown ass woman you get to decided when and what time to sleep. I am concerned that your husband feels he can dictate such a thing to you.

I am lying in bed with the covers up to my chin. My family is going about their business. I will rise when I please and you should too. Once, your baby is here, you will be on his/her schedule.

Oh @Sciurus83 it's not that I feel pressured. It's my own anxiety that is making me stay. My manager has encouraged me to take as much time as I need (he's a bloke who clearly understand that pregnancy is hard!). He even bought me a foot stool and decaf tea as it wasn't part of the tea club - he's ace! It's me that's staying longer because I'm either very silly or just care far too much about my work! (It involves vulnerable people so I would feel much more comfortable doing a piper handover without a week of no cover).

Just chiming in to agree that he is completely out of order and needs putting straight on how unacceptable his behaviour is.

proper not piper

Actually baby could ‘technically ‘ come any time now! Please look after yourself, working until you’re so tired you vomit is not healthy for you or your baby. And your other half sounds like an immature arse who needs to give his head a wobble.

Have you asked him why he feels the need for you to be up at 8am? 8am is not a lie in. 10am is a lie in. Don't tell me you have to get dressed as well at that time? Please tell me he 'allows' you to lie on the sofa watching TV? Or does he have a list of cleaning and shopping jobs lined up?

He's being a prize twat.

I'm 32 weeks with DC2 and my DP happily gets up with DD to let me stay in bed whenever he can/isn't working.

He works nights and there have been times when I've taken DD to school and then come home and we've both gone and got in bed, he would not dare tell me I'm sleeping too much.

When your baby is here let him do the night feeds and then tell him he has to get up at 8am. Karma's a bitch 😬

Ask him how he bubbly and energetic he would be if he had a baby bump to support and was then woken every morning before you were ready to be woken. Being woken in a sleep cycle is bad for you.

Good boss.

Maybe talk to him about a more part-time week?

Work is important, baby is importanter! (as a famous meme once said...)