Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you deal with the incredibly spoiled children of your friends?

287 replies

Merryoldgoat · 22/09/2018 22:54

Just that really.

We’ve had some friends over today with their children.

It was awful. They’re overindulged little drama lamas and they absolutely destroyed my son’s room.

Their parents were entirely unconcerned.

I sent a message after they left to explain the extent of the horror and they’re apologetic but I honestly am shocked.

My son is no angel by any stretch but he’d never behave like that, never.

I feel very upset by the lack of respect.

I’m suffering from PND so am a bit sensitive and I don’t really know what I want to say. I just had to vent a bit,

OP posts:
Meesh77 · 22/09/2018 22:57

What was the extent of the damage?

FelixTitling · 22/09/2018 22:57

Don't ask them back.

And teach your dc a code word so he can come and tell you their trashing his room. My daughter hated anyone being heavy handed with her stuff so she would shout 'Mum, do we have any jelly'. I knew then to go and intervene before it got really bad.

StylishMummy · 22/09/2018 22:57

I hear you OP!

I wouldn't invite them round again, either socialise adults only or at their house. Disrespectful and rude.

Louiselouie0890 · 22/09/2018 22:58

If you want them round again just don't let them anywhere but the room your in

Biologifemini · 22/09/2018 22:58

Tell them off really gently and never invite back.

crazycatlady5 · 22/09/2018 22:59

What exactly have they done to the room? How old are they? Children are children. Often people assume they are brats when really they’re behaving totally normally.

underneaththeash · 22/09/2018 23:00

What age were the children be do you mean it’s just a bit messed up? Was your son there too..

When my boys were little his friends were awful at getting clothes out of cupboards and just throwing things around. We used to do a tidy up session at the end arather than constantly watching them, which meant at least we could chat and have a bit of adult time.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 22/09/2018 23:02

Clothes out of drawers, stuff from the bathroom tipped in there, dirty washing, shoes dragged upstairs.

I must be an idiot - I’d never have considered they’d have done such a thing.

I’ve told my friends I’m very upset. I’m not having them back for a while and I won’t go there either.

This pic is outing so if my friend is a MNetter our friendship is over anyway!

To ask how you deal with the incredibly spoiled children of your friends?
OP posts:
Pebblesandfriends · 22/09/2018 23:03

My house, my rules, they get no special treatment here. Complain about the food? Don't eat it then, but there's nothing else. Fighting over stuff? Work it out or I will remove the offending item. Trash a room? I want this room tidied up before you go. I would expect the parents to back me up. If they didn't I would be in no rush to invite them back.

anitagreen · 22/09/2018 23:04

It really pisses me off when people come to your home and use it as a crèche and don't tidy up after their kids. I had a friend who used to come round turn my telly off to put on her sons favourite show, let her son take all the toys out go downstairs, go into my fridge or open the cupboards to get him a snack all without asking, and I was to silly to say anything when I did she stopped coming round. It's so rude

Meesh77 · 22/09/2018 23:04

Gosh is that normal for their own house?

MysteriousQuinn · 22/09/2018 23:05

Oh good god that's horrendous. Don't invite them back! How old are they? Mind you my 3 year old wouldn't dare to do that especially at someone else's house so no age is an excuse really.

peanut2017 · 22/09/2018 23:06

Wow they really made a mess. You should send that picture to the parents.

Gets on my wick when people do that. My brother, wife & kids do that at my parents. Never invite my parents up to theirs and come down for food and make a mess. Never tidy up after themselves. My parents are in their 70's.

Such bad manners.

Don't invite them back any time soon

Amanduh · 22/09/2018 23:06

It just looks like a lot of boxes overturned.
How do you know your child wasn’t involved?
How old are they?

WineIsMyMainVice · 22/09/2018 23:10

OMFG!!!!!! That’s awful! I’d be really appalled!
Sorry, not absolutely sure I know how I’d handle it with the parents, but I did not want to read and run....
Did the parents go upstairs or see this at any point? How old are the kids?
Good luck with the clear up 🤔

annoyed1212 · 22/09/2018 23:11

Yanbu.
A few years ago we had DH's friends from France come to stay with their two DC (9/10). Their DC were a nightmare, taking out every toy and going through every drawer and wardrobe/cupboard in the house, and top pf that they couldn't understand me as they only spoke French. The parents wouldn't tell them off. DS2 had just started to crawl and I can't remember the amount of times I rescued him from the stairs.

We planned exhausting days out for the remainder of their visit.

BebeRainbow · 22/09/2018 23:11

I’d be fucking fuming

And fancy the parents not telling them off

Over indulged spoilt little shits

weaving5688 · 22/09/2018 23:13

I’d expect a bit of mess from a play date involving under 5s, but that is ridiculous - was nobody keeping an eye on them?

MarthasGinYard · 22/09/2018 23:13

What does your dc say happened?

Didn't you see mess before they left?

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 22/09/2018 23:13

No, my child was involved and he’s been utterly told off.

However this is called the ‘make a mess game’ they’ve played before and obviously not been told it’s not ok.

I’m trying not to drip feed as I don’t want to make excuses but my son is autistic - he doesn’t play like that. He will have followed because he thinks that’s what’s expected.

They’re 7 and 5.

It’s not just upturned boxes.

Every drawer has hen emptied.
Every puzzle opened and emptied.
Every board game opened and emptied.
Every box upturned.
My dirty laundry dragged in and strewn around.
My ironing strewn around.

I’m ducking livid.

They said they were making a mess and because I’m not that fussy I was fine - kids rooms get messy and that’s part of play. But their parents must’ve known what it would be like and they didn’t stop them.

I’m so so upset - my mood is already fragile. We’ve put my son in my bed because we can’t get to his.

OP posts:
MrsDeanWinchester75 · 22/09/2018 23:13

Looking at the toys I'm guessing they're quite young, it's a bloody mess and yes your friends kids were in the wrong but I presume your son joined in too.

QueenArseClangers · 22/09/2018 23:15

Jesus, is that bog roll they’ve chucked around? It looks like it’s not just boxes of toys from that room that have been emptied but other random stuff that’s been dragged in to cause a shit tip.

weaving5688 · 22/09/2018 23:15

7 and 5? I’m not surprised you’re fuming I thought perhaps 2-4 and even then it’s poor.

EK36 · 22/09/2018 23:16

This happened to me once too. I was devastated at how much mess my daughters friend made. I didn't realise until after they had left. Boxes of games and making kits stored on the highest shelf inside a wardrobe. Every single one ripped open. Plaster of paris powder from a making kit..everywhere. Even all the clothes were pulled down off all their hangers and left in a pile! I couldn't believe it. Told my daughters friends mum 're next day. She actually laughed and said, "what is she like?!" My daughter was so sad at the mess in her room was in. Took me hours to clean up. She never got invited again! Told daughter to come and tell me from now on. Hope you get tidied up soon OP. I blame the stupid parents for their spoilt kids. Can't wait to see how they treat their home when they're grown older and the parents gone away. No respect whatsoever.

MarthasGinYard · 22/09/2018 23:17

'They said they were making a mess'

I'd have been up there like a shot

and asked them to tidy before leaving