To be devastated by TTC plans and life in general?

[Ahistoryofbees]

Name changed for this but penis beaker and cancel the cheque etc.

I don't really know how to start.

It's dawning on me that I can't afford to have a baby, sparked by a day of looking at over-priced shoeboxes. I live in London and have a shitty salary and my DP has only just graduated (mature student) so he hasn't been earning the last few years, it's all been on me and I haven't been able to save.

So I have a tiny amount of money saved from before, but not enough to even buy a one bed flat in our area. DP's job will be here so moving isn't an option for another 3 years at least as the nature of the job means he has to be within 30 minutes of work.

We sort of had this idea of TTC after he graduated as he doesn't want to be too old of a dad but it's looking impossible. We can't afford to buy a home, I don't know how we'd cope with nursery fees or one salary if I stayed at home, and I'm just so so devastated and angry that I never got myself a proper career and that I hadn't thought about the practical aspects of having a baby until this point and I just don't know what to do. I'm hiding in bed crying my eyes out because I can't see what I could do. We're stuck renting this stupid flat which gets mouldy every winter.

@meesh77, yes I misread about the 30 minutes. However in that extensive list, the only ones that don't have a 30-minute call out are the theatre porter (who has 1 hour) and SNOD (because they cover a wide area). The others do. In fact, my contract for instance, stipulates that I must be ready to work within 30 minutes, so in practice that means 20 minutes driving time. I'm sorry that you find this unlikely, but specialist and smaller hospitals simply can't afford, nor recruit, sufficient staff to have enough people on site 24/7.

OP - definately talk to him about his plans for the next 5 years then, putting on the table that you don't want to have DCs in a flat, but a house with garden, and does that mean out of London is the best for you.

Reallybadidea, the tone of your post is very hostile. You don’t have to be ‘sorry that I find it unlikely.’ My DH is a consultant in emergency theatres. They only call him into the hospital for an emergency if he’s on call - the other staff are already there. It’s a big hospital in a big city, however. Not unlike London. That’s my experience.

Don’t have much to add to the advice already given but just wanted to say that your partner probably has nothing to lose by applying for jobs further afield. I work for the NHS in a relatively peripheral hospital and they often struggle to fill jobs and I certainly can’t think of any HCP roles that would get 60+ applicants here. When I applied for the job I am in now they were asking for more experience than I had but I applied anyway and got it. It may be worth him sending in a few applications to areas you would consider moving to just to see what happens - even if he gets it you don’t have to accept but you would at least have a better idea of what your options are.

Sorry this whole thread has just made me 🙄🙄🙄

Having “acres of space” is hardly “the basics” is it. You do realise there’s a housing crisis? If you’re a failure then so are millions of others! I live in London and I don’t know anyone who owns their own place (late twenties-early thirties age bracket), we all flat-share

easterlemma thank you