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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m sat on a train opposite the twattist mum ever!!!

296 replies

Pumkinfailure · 22/09/2018 15:54

Child is 3
Mum very loudly asking her to explain the elements that make up nitrous oxide. Child looks blank. ‘Come along darling, you know your elements. Ox.......ox....y......gen! Well done darling.’ 3 year old still hasn’t spoken.
Now darling let’s do some reading, shall we read lord of the rlord nhs, you do love that don’t you’
Would you like a coconut and peanut raw ball, we don’t want to eat too much because remember darling bed time is 6.30 after cuddles.
We are now doing maths, 44-13? Loudly.
I’ve been on this train 7 minutes. God help me!!!?

OP posts:
kitkatsky · 22/09/2018 15:55

YANBU!

Cornettoninja · 22/09/2018 15:56

That kid sounds like they’ve got a fun life Hmm

You could start calling out answers?

SodTheBloodyLotOfThem · 22/09/2018 15:57

NOBODY wants a coconut and peanut raw ball. Ffs give the kid some pom bears and Mr Tumble on the ipad (with headphones obvs) and make everyone happier.

Original poster
Pumkinfailure · 22/09/2018 15:57

I’m visibly eye rolling, it’s not helping

OP posts:
SodTheBloodyLotOfThem · 22/09/2018 15:57

What Cornettoninja said, except call out wrong answers Grin

Whereisthecoffee · 22/09/2018 15:57

Performance parenting at its finest

Vinorosso74 · 22/09/2018 15:58

Now that is performance parenting at it's finest.

Vinorosso74 · 22/09/2018 15:58

Haha cross post Whereisthecoffee

ThisIsTheNational · 22/09/2018 15:58

I quite fancy a a coconut and peanut raw ball. Glad I'm not on that train though. Mind you, I could throw her off and steal her snacks...

Original poster
Pumkinfailure · 22/09/2018 15:59

I’d love to say I’m exaggerating but this is happening before my eyes. The kid is being drilled, I can’t keep up. We are on geography now.

OP posts:
HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 22/09/2018 15:59

Get a can of tenants off the buffet car and offer some of it to the kid. With a spliff.

clary · 22/09/2018 15:59

wtf even is a coconut and peanut raw ball? Sounds disgusting.

Do you have any kale for th child in your bag op?

iklboo · 22/09/2018 15:59

Please put your hand up really high next time she asks a question and squirm making 'mmm, mmm, mmm' noises like a very enthusiastic infants child answering teacher Grin

FreeNim · 22/09/2018 16:00

Crazy!

AutisticHedgehog · 22/09/2018 16:01

Please can you live stream this. I’m bored.

MrsMozart · 22/09/2018 16:02

Flipping heck.

I think at three we were looking at colours and shapes... Not too stressed as one got a 2:1 (sciences) and one on track for the same. I wish I'd enjoyed their younger years more and I was nowhere like this woman. It's so very very true, they're only young once.

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 22/09/2018 16:02

Coconut and peanut ball sounds like parrot food. Are you sure it's a child she's got a there. Hint: if it says that hydrogen is pieces of eight then it's a parrot.

LexieLulu · 22/09/2018 16:02

Poor kid prob wants her to shut it so they can nap

Wishiwasonholiday1 · 22/09/2018 16:02

Maybe, "make a (loud) phone call", reminding your nanny to go through that maths GCSE paper with your 5 year old.

longwayoff · 22/09/2018 16:02

Quick. Stage a mumsnet intervention - whatever that might be.

Alpacanorange · 22/09/2018 16:02

Ask her to refrain from consuming peanuts in a confined space due to their allergenic nature.

Original poster
Pumkinfailure · 22/09/2018 16:03

Ah now she needs to have ‘nice clean corners’ on the triangle she is drawing. And now we are on to angles...kill me now

OP posts:
HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 22/09/2018 16:03

... then shit on her.

Alpacanorange · 22/09/2018 16:04

Grin shit on her!!

KingLooieCatz · 22/09/2018 16:04

This is what Facebook Live was invented for, surely?