Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m sat on a train opposite the twattist mum ever!!!

296 replies

Pumkinfailure · 22/09/2018 15:54

Child is 3
Mum very loudly asking her to explain the elements that make up nitrous oxide. Child looks blank. ‘Come along darling, you know your elements. Ox.......ox....y......gen! Well done darling.’ 3 year old still hasn’t spoken.
Now darling let’s do some reading, shall we read lord of the rlord nhs, you do love that don’t you’
Would you like a coconut and peanut raw ball, we don’t want to eat too much because remember darling bed time is 6.30 after cuddles.
We are now doing maths, 44-13? Loudly.
I’ve been on this train 7 minutes. God help me!!!?

OP posts:
Nightfall1 · 23/09/2018 20:04

When my DD was about 4 she asked "Mummy-what are clouds made of?"
My first thought was "fucking hell I vaguely remember something about it from school but haven't a clue...." so I googled it.
After explaining about rain cycles etc for about 5 minutes she said " No-they're not- they're made of fluff!"
I have definitely learnt from that experience!

HepzibahHumbug · 23/09/2018 20:08

But I fondly remember one telly hating Mum explaining each and every squabble to her telly deprived DSs aged 4 and 3. This is why you feel this and this is why you might have felt the need to do this blah blah. Worst behaved kids I've ever had to be with Smile and most stressed Mum. Maybe it was her on the train OP?
How do you keep your kids entertained on journeys?
Ooh. Might have a thread there...

numbbrain · 23/09/2018 20:13

Sounds like a candid camera or Jeremy Beadle set up. Am I that old I remember these

Teacher22 · 23/09/2018 20:15

Offer the poor kid a gin and tonic - loudly.

Goldilocks3Bears · 23/09/2018 20:19

I took DC to a sports tournament where they did rounds and had some waiting time. Sanctimummy was there with her DS and loudly pulled out a sheet of maths and started drilling her 7 year old and talking about “consolidation” while the rest of the kids were mainlining crisps and having a giggle. I’m sure none of those maths questions stuck in her brain and she just felt resentful and isolated from the rest of the team.

HepzibahHumbug · 23/09/2018 20:21

Seriously. Old newbie here. Can't remember how to start a thread. Thinking about all the hilarious/awful ways we stop babies crying and kids climbing over the seats on long journeys. How/where please?

DioneTheDiabolist · 23/09/2018 20:25

Performance Parenting is not positive engagement. It's using the child as a prop in a narcissistic display.

nannykatherine · 23/09/2018 20:29

this is the reason headphones were invented

bertielab · 23/09/2018 20:40

I once worked with a couple (not married for a variety of reasons they kept publicly discussing -it's a political system for controlling) Children were not allowed any 'stories of anything made up' no Beatrix Potter, Harry Potter or animals talking etc no santa no easter bunny, no religion.

I was once asked to look after said children for a weekend whilst their parents were working. I said yes, but on the condition they were treated like my own children, after much eye rolling they agreed.

Children went home outraged that they hadn't been told about the Easter Bunny etc -was Easter at the time. I wasn't asked again.

daffodillament · 23/09/2018 20:50

Worra laff ! Grin

Lizzie48 · 23/09/2018 20:51

I don't dispute that there are some parents who are annoying, same as there are pompous businessmen making a show of making calls to their secretaries. You get a real mix of people on a train.

OTOH, there are parents who are embarrassed by the behaviour of their toddlers and are desperately trying to keep them entertained, or at least show that they are trying. They know they'll get judged if their DC climb around or throw tantrums.

Travelling on a train with toddlers is very hard work, and it's why I used to go by car whenever possible.

busyhonestchildcarer · 23/09/2018 20:54

Oh god.ive looked after kids with parents like this.their vocabulary was amazing but they couldnt dress themselves,struggled to socialize and couldnt build anything for themselves.in class they were rude and disruptive as also they had little structure or rules in their lives either.let children play,learn to do things for themselves,give them a little structure,a little guidance alot of love and let them be children

YouTheCat · 23/09/2018 20:54

But the toddler wasn't the one being embarrassing.

Bertie, I hope you read those poor kids as many stories as you could.

HepzibahHumbug · 23/09/2018 21:15

Givkng children time to play without adult guidance is essential for both parent/carer and child. It's NOT the same as ignoring. Once they get going on something by themselves the vital thing is not to jump in and over-ride. I always think that's parents getting bored not the child

mumoy · 23/09/2018 21:20

Please WTF is a coconut and peanut raw ball? Now I am hungry?
Why is the child not speaking in Latin? This DC is obviously backwards my DD's first word was "Pater"
I jest! Start singing the answers in the style of nursery rhymes.

Havaina · 23/09/2018 21:33

Mumoy - they're snacks that are not overly processed.

uk.bouncefoods.com/product/peanut/

I've only had it once as ai find them prohibitively expensive.

SnorkFavour · 23/09/2018 22:19

Does anyone remember the mum who came on here to tell us that she wasn't going to apologise for being a 'performance parent'? She appeared to think the word performance referred to something extra and good, as in performance car. I think she felt quite miffed when it was pointed out that performance actually referred to an act, like a play. Twas an interesting thread haha!

YouTheCat · 23/09/2018 22:30

I remember that. She wouldn't have it and we were apparently all twats. Hmm

BlahBlahRidiculous · 23/09/2018 22:41

Haha Nightfall1 - I've done similar. I've come to realize they only want simple answers when they are little.

CosyLulu · 24/09/2018 04:54

When dd was about 6 we got on the train back from visiting my mum and she announced loudly “You said you’d tell me what sex is.” True enough I had said I would after she asked my mum during our visit. The train was really packed and we were on a table seat opposite two middle aged business men who seemed to be all ears. I gave a whispered very rudimentary explanation to which dd, real horror in her face, repeated elements of loudly, “the man does what With his willy,” “ewww!!!” and finally, “I am never ever going to do that.” The men opposite looked ao uncomfortable by the end of the conversation.

Booboo66 · 24/09/2018 07:25

I really don't get the vitriol on here towards a parent who is engaging with her child in such a positive way

As an early years professional, I can assure you that what is described is not a positive way to engage with a 3 year old. As previously said the asking of unrealistic questions isn’t great for self esteem and the talking at not allowing for answers is the exact opposite of positive communication, but also the constant switching of subjects which will actually be quite stressful for the child. If this is a normal thing I’d imagine the child will end up having difficulties focussing when they are ready to learn. My experience of this is more often than not from this type of parent rather than the other end of the scale. The child is all over the place and does not know how to play imaginatively or focus on a task.
When my DC were small I would take learning books on trains as they’d happily focus when there was nothing else to do . These involved basic numbers and letters, spot the difference, pairing presented in a fun way that could be discussed quietly.
I don’t see an issue with discussing politics with a 10 year old though. DN knew more about politics that I at 10 and probably could have taught me something. But despite having a Dr of Biochemistry as a father even he wasn’t able to discuss chemical elements at 3

jocarter67 · 24/09/2018 09:10

I swear to god, this is the same as what we heard in Lanzarote last week on holiday. Poor little boy definitely no older than 3, sitting in high chair in restaurant being absolutely drilled with questions BEFORE he was allowed to eat his meal. It was absolutely torturous, he didn’t have a clue bless him. However I actually laughed out loudly when his mummy decided it was ok for him to eat, she sat there, cut up all his food (obviously that’s not a problem at all) but then spoon fed him his entire meal. Poor little bugger also had absolutely no social skills. It actually upset me a little bit

Coffeeelover · 24/09/2018 09:50

What a twatttttttttt

Nightshiftmad · 24/09/2018 10:11

Think a mum who watched the Big Bang Theory to much. Although I don't begrudge any mother trying to do the best for their child.

Fromage · 24/09/2018 11:15

coconut and peanut butter raw ball recipe

Ingredients:
1 bounty bar
1 Reece's peanut butter cup

Method:

  1. Nibble off all the chocolate.
  2. Put remaining innards into mouth.
  3. Chew into ball shape.
  4. Swallow.
  5. Top up with peanut butter straight out of the jar with a big spoon.
  6. Then do the same with the Nutella.

Actually scratch 1-4 and just go for for 5 and 6.

You're welcome.