To think I’m sat on a train opposite the twattist mum ever!!!

[Pumkinfailure]

Child is 3
Mum very loudly asking her to explain the elements that make up nitrous oxide. Child looks blank. ‘Come along darling, you know your elements. Ox.......ox....y......gen! Well done darling.’ 3 year old still hasn’t spoken.
Now darling let’s do some reading, shall we read lord of the rlord nhs, you do love that don’t you’
Would you like a coconut and peanut raw ball, we don’t want to eat too much because remember darling bed time is 6.30 after cuddles.
We are now doing maths, 44-13? Loudly.
I’ve been on this train 7 minutes. God help me!!!?

How do you know the child is three? Could be small for their age.
Otherwise, this thread is an ode to mediocrity. A bit pathetic really.
Live and let live?

Sounds hilarious 😂

And to think that I felt embarrassed in Waterstones coffee shop when my granddaughter, 7, asked me, apropos nothing at all, do all words with a q have a u next to it? I managed qwerty as an example and then explained that there are a lot of words from other languages where there is a q but no u.

I know someone like this. Does all this loud crap for an audience when in reality her kids do very little educational anything at home because mummy is off her tits a lot of the time.

I'm wondering if we know the same person now!

Triangles and elements? Pah...clearly the child should be writing electron configurations and drawing shapes of the orbitals by now.

LeggyLinda

I would tell her you work for Louis Theroux and can they please do a documentary on her daughter.

Less of an ode to mediocrity and more of a plea for not dominating public places with an obnoxious stream of consciousness.

Could you sing I Know a Song That’ll Get on Your Nerves over and over.

Or start shouting out the wrong answers.

41-27. ........ 65

Teach it the baby shark song!

@TwoOddSocks
I agree, it does a bit - my initial thought. But I have witnessed similar so I’m giving the benefit of doubt.

I too am wondering how you know the child is 3 years old OP? Did the mother announce the child's age before starting on the educational stuff?

Completely off topic, sorry, but I once spent several hours on a train next to a guy with his dog who went on to explain in detail his dog's complex allergies (apparently he could only be on hypoallergenic vegan dog food or something like that). Apparently, his worst allergy trigger was Worchestershire sauce!

It doesn't really matter whether the child is 3. The kid could be 6 and the stream of questioning would still be awful. Why isn't she just talking to her child instead of 'at' them?

Sorry op don't worry we are nearly done though just foreign languages and history to go. Then it will be exam time

No one is this much of a ponce. And who puts a kid to bed at 6.30?

This sounds incredibly made up

It does. Also maybe people wouldn't feel the need to do so called performance parenting if they we didn't keep judging other peoples parenting skills all the time.

You're supposed to be in AWE of what an amazing parent the mother is. That's the whole point of performance parenting.

Bet the poor child is called something wanky like Clarabella-Popsicle too.

Well I just asked my child what elements make up nitrous oxide and he told me the correct answer - I’m obviously the better mother out of us all 😇 (ignore the fact that he’s doing A level chemistry and is 16 🤣)

I know it doesn't matter YouTheCat, but it just seems so precise for the OP to say the child is 3 years old. I couldn't be that precise in judging a child's age.

I remember a time where I was walking DD 7 out of school, amongst lots of other parents and kids.
DD turned to me and said 'mum thanks for the great today (I think I had put a chocolate digestive in her lunch). Another mum overheard and said loudly 'oh my goodness, treats! And it isn't even Friday! My little Johnny only gets treats on a Friday aren't you a very lucky girl'
I was like wtf mate... poor Johnny

Possibly the mother asked the child to say their age out loud pigs ...in French, Russian and Urdu!

shall we read lord of the rlord nhs

I love that book :-)

Come along darling, you know your elements. Ox.......ox....y......gen! Well done darling.’ 3 year old still hasn’t spoken.

Nip down the train, borrow someones toddler, and loudly ask it to explain why Oxygen forms 2- ions.

Reckon the DM must be confusing her noxious niffs either emanating from precious DC rearend or proximity to train toilets.

(I blame school cos my 7 year old drew polygons and named them all over the toddler chalk board in the coffee shop yesterday - in her defence at least she had the decency to spell trapezium wrong)

Those ball 'snack' things just make me think of those seed balls you get to give to budgies.