To think I’m sat on a train opposite the twattist mum ever!!!

[Pumkinfailure]

Child is 3
Mum very loudly asking her to explain the elements that make up nitrous oxide. Child looks blank. ‘Come along darling, you know your elements. Ox.......ox....y......gen! Well done darling.’ 3 year old still hasn’t spoken.
Now darling let’s do some reading, shall we read lord of the rlord nhs, you do love that don’t you’
Would you like a coconut and peanut raw ball, we don’t want to eat too much because remember darling bed time is 6.30 after cuddles.
We are now doing maths, 44-13? Loudly.
I’ve been on this train 7 minutes. God help me!!!?

"Now darling can we spell P-e-r..formance Parenting?".

Silly woman - what an exhausting way to live life! Who does she think she is impressing?

I have just asked DS (3y 9m) what elements make up nitrous oxide. He looked puzzled then laughed and said 'They are silly words mummy' and went back to his drawing of all the wriggly worms that live in our garden. He was crying earlier because he thought worms grew into snakes and DH told him they don't. (Thank God they don't)

Are you sure it's a child she's got a there. Hint: if it says that hydrogen is pieces of eight then it's a parrot.

😂😂

Wow, little girl you've got a very loud and clever mummy.

TwoOddSocks- I’d love to say it’s made up but word for word it’s true, in fact this mum will almost certainly recognise herself if she reads this. I’ve got off now, and feel a bit unkind, but it gave me the rage and I needed to share the ridiculousness!!

Just catching up, those questioning-
I’m just estimating the age, obviously I can’t be certain, she could be a young looking 12?!!?

Isn't it funny though @Haworthia that talking to your child also involves raising the volume a few decibels so that every poor sod in the vicinity gets an obviously well-needed lesson too .

Nico I swear those balls you made are exactly what i put out for the birds earlier!

I once had to suffer a pp mother all the way to London. I was taking my lad there and he was happily reading a book (and eating food that wasn't in ball shape). IT was the start of the holidays. After a good slog at the loud maths (that the little mite was struggling with) he asked if he could have a break and read a book. "Oh no, the time for maths is now. If I let you have a break YOU WILL FAIL AND END UP LIKE OTHER CHILDREN" dismissive wave at all the other children on the coach. How she managed to walk off with all the daggers in her back I do not know.

Great way to get seats to yourself on the train with a toddler though - bet no-one was demanding DM pop DC on her lap so they could plonk themselves down beside her in true MN style.

I would start playing baby shark on my phone loudly, then start dancing , kids should be having fun at that age not trying to recite the periodic table.

What an arsehole. YANBU

Ffs!

Why does it enrage you OP.I really don't get the vitriol on here towards a parent who is engaging with her child in such a positive way.

I'd have to try and move. Way too over the top for me. It's great to teach children but let them have fun as well. And maybe a train isn't the best place to do it.

She sounds like a nightmare....but I now have a craving for peanut and coconut balls! (9 months pregnant). Anyone have a recipe

I assume you're joking, tillytrotter?! Because 'qwerty' isn't an actual word, it's an acronym (although I'm happy to be proven incorrect on my choice of the word acronym) for the QWERTY keyboard layout!

Was the child’s name Bertie? Was he carrying a saxophone? If so one day he’ll run away to Glasgow, you mark my words.

Peanut and coconut balls make me think of that dh are a fat ball thread....still makes me guffaw!! But yes, twatty mum!

As you leave the train say

I’ve been watching you and the way you are with your child, it’s such a shame you don’t just do normal stuff with her - maybe she’d talk more then

Then leg it 😅

I feed the wild birds in my garden better food then that

Hubby has just come back from his run and asked if the protein balls I’ve made are fat balls for the birds!

Maybe she saw you were on MN and decided to give you something to write about! Does she look like a MNer?

Do people behave like that in real life?