AIBU to tell my 12 year old DD that she can't wear these?

[JossWhedonIsAGenius]

Boots

She would look really silly at 12

They are quite ugly - in my opinion. Expensive too. A bit much for a twelve year old.

Uggs might be better for a girl her age.

YANBU - I’ve just asked my 13 year old DD and before I said a thing she said too old for a 12 year old. She said too high heeled. She said too slutty!!!! (Didn’t realise she knew that word) And too expensive.
Someone upthread said You may find they are so annoying and clunky she chooses not to wear them again so another reason not to buy!

BeigeExpo

Fair enough. I just found the question, "You're even considering spending £170 on boots for a 12 year old??" a bit irritating when I thought my AIBU question made it pretty clear that I wasn't considering it.

But glad you don't think I ABU.

Sorry if you think I'm drip feeding. Bot mostly I just wanted to know what people thought of the boots without giving a backstory. Additional posts have mostly been in response to specific questions

YANBU at all.

Gross. They really are ugly.

No no no. I have shortened calf muscles as a result of being allowed to wear similar heels at her age. It has caused me huge problems as an adult. Pain walking uphill and a ripped gastrocnemus muscle which is no joke and is likely to happen again on the future.

Slutty??? Fgs.

Can she actually walk in them? The heels are very high.

I got dd slight heeled shoes at 11ish and she could not walk in them, she ended up refusing to wear them.

Perhaps you need to go on a couple of long fast walks whilst she’s wearing them, rub for the bus etc. She may decide she doesn’t really want to wear them by herself.

Probably in the minority but I quite like them - don't think they are ugly or 'slutty' . I do think they are too high for a twelve year old. A flat version of the same boot would be OK IMO - as in I thnk the boots are OK for a 12 yr old just not the heel.

hmm my friends ddaughter is nearly 6ft at 13 - put her in these and she would scare the pants of a few people. Too high and too high in the leg - really not what 12/3 yrs olds are wearing at the moment. The sole and heel look clunky to me rather than slutty or sleasy to be honest i think she would get fed up with them with all the palaver getting them on and off and not being able to run about in them

Thanks for all the comments.

Yanbu. Hate seeing kids in stuff like this. 12 is too young.

You need to think of the outcome you want from this situation

YANBU to tell her she can't wear them, however will the conclusion from this end up leading to you two falling out over a pair of boots and having an argument?

Sometimes it is better to let things slide for the sake of getting on with your child, children hate being told in sternly that they are explicitly not allowed to do something. You don't want her growing up glad to be eventually moving out because "mum never let me do anything" (of course you let her do things but children hang on to the negatives) or is a pair of boots not worth an argument or falling out over?

Just to offer a different perspective

No, for 12. Sorry.

Sometimes it is better to let things slide for the sake of getting on with your child, children hate being told in sternly that they are explicitly not allowed to do something.

I disagree. My parents never told me explicitly what was or wasn't allowed to do and I ended up confused and wondering why they were always annoyed with me or how I should behave in certain situations. I think preteens appreciate boundaries, just like toddlers do.

They’re not ‘stripper’ boots - they’re bloody calf length. Not particularly sexy?

Personally I wouldn’t buy her them due to the heel. She won’t be able to wear them much without hurting her feet, so you’ll have to carry around extra shoes with her so she can change. Unless you drive her everywhere and she won’t walk much. They would be difficult to walk in in wet and windy conditions, and she’ll probably want to wear other shoes when the weather is decent/dry as these shoes lean towards winter wear.

Oh right. If it's your ex then just look away. You can't control it. The boots stay at his house and are worn there. This isn't a hill to die on.

Also as a fashionable 22 year old, I don’t think they’re particularly nice. The flat ankle length is much better - but regardless Timberlands are very outdated now.

No too high and not age appropriate, however if you think they will get worn when she is with the person don’t worry too much, it’s unlikely very occasional wear will do undue harm

YANBU

it's about £130 more than I'd be prepared to spend.

I would struggle in those heels, nevermind a 12 y/o!
£170 would be a no from me for any kind of shoes at that age

Too old for a 12 year old

They do look a bit like what'd be worn by middle-aged women who favour droopy traily skirts.

Who ever purchased them Is NOT your friend and I would not be please with THAT person.... Granny? Ex???