To think sometimes when people are feeling down, or have mild depression, sometimes they need a strong talking too

[LardLizard]

Not always
And not if it’s a reaction to something really huge like bereavement divorce job loss or some major event
And not if they are suffering of some sort of mental illness like moderate or serve depression

But sometimes I wonder if modern society’s attitudes actually really help people
Like myself when I think an actual good kick up the arse would actually probably be the best thing
To not be indulged to not have people making excuses

Mainly talking about myself but if I get like that
I could do with someone telling me hey your arse out of bed n in the shower
Put on something nice
Put on a smile and make an effort
Get the House sortedcit the grass
Eat well you will feel better for it

I don’t know just someone telling me to be grateful for what I have and to get up and get on

Although personas I’m mainly thinking abou tmyself here really

I’m not saying do this to people with huge huge issues and actually full blown medical proablems

Sass Gently giving direction and a strong talking to are not the same!

To think sometimes when people are feeling down, or have mild depression, sometimes they need a strong talking to

Depression, however 'mild' somebody on the outside may decide it is, is a mental health diagnosis. Justifying a shitty post that basically shows a lack of understanding or empathy by then using the phrase 'but not those with moderate depression' is bullshit. Depression is a diagnosed illness, it is not up to somebody with no knowledge of individual people's diagnosis' or problems to decide it is simply 'mild' therefore they should just snap out of it.

It definitely depends on the situation and its a question of degree.

One of my reasons for feeling incredibly shite for a long time was that no one cared about me or what I was going through - I might actually quite have liked having someone giving me clear instructions about what to do, and yes, giving me a kick up the arse. I'm the sort of person who is quite suggestible though, and I'm not sure it classed as depression. I was on ADs but was able to come off them after 9 months because I didn't like the side effects - I don't think true depressives have a choice about things like that.

Your post reminded me - I remember in What Katy Did when Cousin Helen told Katy to have a wash and open the curtains and to stop moping - it made a big impression on me at the time. I am not sure it was the best advice for a paraplegic who'd suffered life limiting injury!

But then again, I remember Simon Weston, the man who was terribly injured in the Falklands - he had slipped into an awful depression afterwards but I remember a documentary when his mother basically told himself to pull himself together and get on with things and it seemed like that was the catalyst for him moving forward. Things aren't always as they appear of course.

But, like I say, for profound depression or complex mental health problems I don't think these approaches are going to automatically help - if only things were that simple. Hope you are OK OP x

Tbh a lot of you are deliberately missing the point so you can rant n shout and sware, that’s fine, only trying to say what helps me, and I think it could help others
I fully accept that some people will be in it too deep for these basic things to help and that some people will feel so bad these will feel like and be impossible tasks

Shame can’t just have a discussion about it, fully apologise if I’ve offended you that certainly is not my intention I’ve already said how this is how I feel and how I deal with myself

Here

OP your ignorance is unbelievable. Low mood and feeling a bit fed up is in no way comparable to depression, mild, moderate or severe. I have depression and the dopamine and serotonin I get from exercise is something I need daiy to enable me to get out of bed. It has taken me years to get to the stage where I can use exercise rather than anti depressants just to be able to function. I still get times when I will hardly leave my bedroom because constantly putting on a smile for everyone else is unbelievably hard work and tiring. A stern talking to is liable to push me further into the black hole of depression, is in no way helpful and can be down right bloody dangerous. I suggest you keep your mouth shut before you push someone over the edge.

The problem OP is that your original title sucks & you still fail to acknowledge that there is a difference between feeling low & having depression. The conversation you clearly wanted is about feeling low, maybe being in a bit of a rut NOT about depression. Which is, i suspect, why people are getting arsey. It is most definitely why i am because, as an example, if i told DP now to get off his arse & buck his ideas up, he would retreat further into himself. If he was just feeling sorry for himself it wouldn't be a potentially dangerous trigger.

'A strong talking to' is worlds apart from 'encouragement to move forwards'

OP your missing the point! A talking to helps you because you don’t have bloody depression, you are just feeling a bit fed up or in low mood. They are not in any way comparable to depression.

OP your missing the point! A talking to helps you because you don’t have bloody depression, you are just feeling a bit fed up or in low mood. They are not in any way comparable to depression.

This Op - you are missing the point.

The OP has no idea, no idea at all.

She doesn't understand that mild depression is not the same thing as feeling down

The other poster , Meteor who believes anxiety and stress is normal , is just as bad.I hope one day that karma serves her a big helping of clinical anxiety.

Who seems what situation is bad? And how bad? What maybe ‘mild’ to you might be ‘severe’ to someone else. I suffer from anxiety, a very complicated type of specific anxiety, the countless time that people have told me to - just try not to worry, gonhave a long bath it’ll help. It made me worse and this is why I’m where I am today. I applaud you for trying to help - but please don’t.

How the heck would you assess if someone has a mental illness?

Seriously, I would hate someone to give me a patronising talk about gratitude or getting over it when I am down... That would probably be the last time I would open to them.

Oh yes, just tell them to pull themselves together.

Because that works every time.

Such a difficult topic. Those who have never experienced a mh illness will inevitably find it hard to understand. I’ve been described as a high functioning depressive!! Well guess what? It’s all an act so that I can manage to hold down a job, support my child and not to worry family and friends. It is such a stigmatized illness, even after all the campaigns etc. I’m now right at the bottom of the pit after trying so hard to keep going. I can’t function and have hit a wall. Lack of understanding from so called friends hasn’t helped. The isolation from not getting a quick text/call. I tell friends what I have, then hear nothing from them. If I told them I had a physical illness, I know the reaction would be different.
It’s a very painful and lonely illness. If you met me you wouldn’t have a clue. I’m so good at hiding it.

I think OP you have missed the point Everyone on this thread is trying to tell you about clinical depression, which by the way regardless of severity is a mental health condition!
This is a discussion and people are trying to guide you into realising what you are saying is wrong, offensive and dangerous to many people living with clinical depression!
I'm glad a stern talking to helps you when you are feeling down. You obviously don't have depression and need to differentiate between the two. Most PP here are trying to tell you this. You should try listening instead of getting defensive about your clearly uneducated and judgemental views.

My family specialises in kicks up the arse. And yes, I agree, they're very effective in the right circumstances!

I'm in need of a massive KUTA at the moment. I'm burying my head, being lazy, not pulling my weight and taking my resulting guilt out on everyone else.

I've just told myself to buck up.

Gerard170 in what way is the OP making a judgement there - she's just saying that she doesn't think that directive style would suit someone suffering badly - like the suicidal, for instance. The OP isn't judging, classifying anyone or categorising anyone in particular, just talking in general terms. It's the sufferer who categorises themself, surely?

Yet despite clearly indicating that it's not a blanket view that the OP thinks is applicable to all, there are plenty of people piling on in general and the odd person wishing other posters ill health ('big helping of clinical anxiety). Lovely. Understanding works both ways.

I think the op used the phrase mild depression to mean feeling very down and didn't mean proper depression at all. But the thread has been hijacked by those who suffer true depression and feel angry at the idea that being positive and having a kick up the backside can be a good idea if you're just a bit down.

I don't think she said anywhere she could or should judge who was suffering with who

It's understandable though. Depression is awful and those suffering with it are quick to take umbridge with any who seemingly don't unserstand it.

Bit harsh on the op tho, she isn't really commenting on true depression at all

Oh OP
The reason these things help you is because you don’t have depression

Having down days is a normal part of the normal human experience
If listening to a happy song helps, you’re probably just feeling a bit fed up

‘Proper’ depression you are numb to even hearing the music in the first place

The isolation from not getting a quick text/call. I tell friends what I have, then hear nothing from them

People don't know what to say. Peoples advice would be exercise, good food and plenty of sleep. They can't 'see' the illness. Symptoms can go on for years. They don't want to offer help as they could be doing that forever (I was). Sometimes having to get up and out to buy milk and bread is the best therapy.

With a broken leg you can see the injury and know in a few months the patient will be OK. You can do someones shopping a few times and then that;'s it.

she isn't really commenting on depression at all

And yet OP herself still hasn't acknowledged the difference. Several of you have done so on her behalf instead. It doesn't matter what 'level' of depression you have - if you have been diagnosed as having depression it can be a sliding scale. Depression is still a whole different ball game to that human trait of having a bad day.

You sound like someone on talk back radio
Talking shit really

Navaloranges your post is the exact reason i now have very few actual friends & instead plenty of acquaintances. I'm not a high maintainence friend even when i'm struggling, but my true friends understand that if i open up to them i just need a bit of TLC without judgement. I'm very capable of organising my own MH help with my GP, but a text every now & again from a friend just because shows they 'get it' even without fully understanding the mechanics. You realise quickly who your friends are

So I have a mood disorder which means that sometimes I am just overwhelmingly depressed.

It’s like a thick blanket under everything you do, the only thing I have found similar to it, is grief. It literally lies under everything.

I am very much a ‘sort it out’ person so I tend to push through, I keep a job, I work hard, I train and I watch my diet to try and pull myself out of my slump.

I don’t believe thst talking will pull someone out of depression, same with anxiety. I do however think that they are not excuses not to live life. I think that we need to stop telling people that they need to feel great or even good all the time to achieve stuff. If you’re depressed that’s shit but you still need to get up and go about your life. You still need to focus on getting a job, on developing, on exploring.

I meet people who are determined to find ‘the answer’ and the majority of the things they do are to ‘beat depression’ when aveually they should be framing their lives around what they want to do and what they enjoy, rather than focusing on it too much.

I've just had to spend a weekend with people who made it abundantly clear that they share your attitude.
It's left me pissed off, anxious and drained, funnily enough.

I have spent a year, a fucking YEAR, doing yoga, meditating, exercising, eating well, going to bed early and getting up, showered and dressed, reaching out to friends, focusing on the things that should make me happy... and you know what? I'm still a fucking mess. I still have a big black pit of emptiness where my soul used to be, the world still looks like a bleak scary place with no joy or hope in it, I still can't go and do the things I used to do because the panic attacks won't let me go that far from the house...

But as I'm up and dressed I suppose I'd be seen to just have "mild" depression and should be given a kick up the bum? Fuck off.

Depression can be a chemical imbalance in the brain. Sorry, but sometimes no amount of effort can correct that. And sometimes, people try their damndest & still struggle, still need help. People need to realise that. Telling somebody they basically aren't trying hard enough because they can't go to work is akin to victim shaming; you're depressed & can't go to work today, you clearly aren't trying hard enough. Fuck off