to chase my friend re her baby gifts?

[raviolee]

I'm getting close to my due date. I'm only 33 weeks but there's a chance baby could end up coming sooner. I won't go in to the reasons for this but I'm high risk and not looking like I'll make it to 40 weeks!

A friend of ours has been saying for 3ish months that they have loads of clothes and bits and bobs for us. We keep saying 'great, let us know when we can collect it!' Etc etc.

It's getting to a point where we need to know what she's giving us so we know what we still need to buy. I feel bad chasing her as I've asked a few times when we can go round to collect stuff. She keeps saying she will let me know.

How can I chase this up without seeming massively grabby and ungrateful? It's not the case at all. I'm so grateful and am going to give her some money even though she hasn't asked, I'm just anxious we need to start buying! I don't want to buy stuff and for her to then say 'oh we could've given you that!'

How do I go about chasing this without being hugely annoying?

Whatever happens you’ll have a night in hospital (unless it’s a home birth?) so that would kick her into action surely? Although I’m not advising that route as I’m a planner and would hate to wait until last minute!
Maybe buy things you need but keep the labels on and the receipts so you can return if she comes up trumps? Sounds like she’s just one of life’s vagues!!

Sorry - posted with it reading thread. Classic MN error!

Some people on here just like using the word entitled I think!

Have you picked the stuff up now @raviolee?

Some very bizarre responses on this thread. FWIW I'm like your friend and would have had no problem whatsoever being reminded! I tend to procrastinate with slightly boring tasks (like getting baby clothes out of the loft) and always end up putting it off tomorrow, particularly if I think I've got months to do it. Deadlines are helpful!

Glad it worked out :)

I had a friend of a friend who insisted she had loads of baby stuff for me us. I didn’t ask for this or remind her and took it with a pinch of salt as she is known to be flakey and disorganised.
After DS was born and she turned up with a massive bin bag of stuff new born and 0-3 clothes (DS was almost out of this size). She left the bin bag in our porch and when I opened the bin bag I discovered the majority of things were too small and she had washed the whites with colours so anything white or light was tatty and completely unuseable and a lot of it was OTT tat and not my taste. I texted to say thank you, got her a thank you card, a bottle of wine and bunch of flowers as a gesture. Apart from about two things it all went in the bin.
Anyway I heard off someone else later that she had stopped speaking to me as she had given me loads and loads of baby stuff and I hadn’t said thank you and it had cost her and other people a fortune in presents. I couldn’t say anything about the state of the clothes as this other person is a gossip and really two faced.

Glad it all turned out well OP! You've also reminded me that recently I offered a friend a load of baby stuff I don't need anymore. She said oh yes that'd be great.... I forgot! I must actually have a look what I've got and message her. She can make her excuses if she doesn't actually want it and I won't get offended. But she could actually be waiting for stuff!!! Hopefully she'd remind me - but judging by this thread lots of people wouldn't.

That's so weird!!!

Anyone else thinking the friend is on MN and only realised it was a big deal when she saw the thread?!

I made the mistake of putting something on here once. Won’t bother again. There are nice, reasonable people on mn but there are also a lot of people who just seem to enjoy ripping into others regardless. Not sure why people ask advice in the first place really. I think most people disappear half way through threads they started due to nasty comments. Why can’t we all just be civil on here? It’s very easy to be mean when anonymous but wonder if this poor girl would get so much flack from those that have given grief to her face? Doubt it. Poor girl is pregnant for goodness sake. She asked a reasonable question and as always the thread ends up being spiteful. Shame on those that treat a pregnant lady like that. Rant over. Nothing wrong with what you said op. Good luck to you and your family. X

Just to add support to you OP. You have clearly done nothig wrong. You have offered your friend money for stuff she suggested you could have. Hardly a hanging offence!!! Enjoy your baby. I was in your position this time last year and its a special time. Don't let a random thread on mumsnet affect your joy and excitement

Ask her to go baby stuff shopping this week.. Then that might prompt her. You can then also say baby will probably arrive early

(baby stuff shopping with you that is)

Hi Raviolee, just wanted to wish you luck with the whole ‘getting the baby stuff’ thing. Having read all of the comments, I’m now invested and just have to find out how this all pans out. Please can you message on this thread and update us all! :-) mwah xoxo

I would simply ask her if she still has the baby things,, she might have forgotten about giving them to you. If she is your good friend, then I am sure things will be ok.

MN at its bitchy horrible best here. Luckily OP, you & your friend appear to be normal & behave normally & are capable of normal Interactions! Unfortunately most people on here must have horrible friendships with no trust or understanding and feel it is OK to go around tearing into normal people anonymously.

Happy that this seems to have worked out for you OP - have a good rest of pregnancy, I had preeclampsia too & you need to just be relaxing as much as poss (suggest staying away from vicious MNers!!)! Enjoy your baby when the time comes.

i wonder if op is coming back

choccywokkydoodah
I don't know why she would
She contacted her friend and arranged to get the stuff, so all sorted.

choccywokky

i wonder if op is cominh back

Come back for what, choccy?

It's all done and dusted, you missed all the action. OP came back and told us she is picking up the items and paying her friend £150.

Do you want a blow by blow review of every item?

Stuff like this really pisses me off!

I would let it go OP doesn’t sound like you’ll be getting anything from her. You’ve reminded her 3 times about it and it’s still not materialised, I’ve personally had things pretty much promised and never turned up.

Sounds like you’re having a rough time with preeclampsia and if I were you, I’d just leave it with her and go buy your own stuff. Check gumtree, eBay and Facebook before spending hundreds on brand new stuff you’re not going to use THAT much. Save yourself some pennies that way.

Again I know how annoying it is but you’ve got your little one to thing about and especially more so if baby comes earlier than expected!

Good luck!

OP has sorted this. Now even I’m getting annoyed at people telling her to forget about it when it is resolved!

Sounds like a result OP.
You and your friend both sound to be sorting things fine, no idea what thread half the posters here have been reading?...

Glad you got it sorted OP now you can concentrate on getting things finalised before the big day

Good luck!

Glad you sorted it all out OP.

Ignore the rude comments from some one here.

Good luck with your new baby.