to chase my friend re her baby gifts?

[raviolee]

I'm getting close to my due date. I'm only 33 weeks but there's a chance baby could end up coming sooner. I won't go in to the reasons for this but I'm high risk and not looking like I'll make it to 40 weeks!

A friend of ours has been saying for 3ish months that they have loads of clothes and bits and bobs for us. We keep saying 'great, let us know when we can collect it!' Etc etc.

It's getting to a point where we need to know what she's giving us so we know what we still need to buy. I feel bad chasing her as I've asked a few times when we can go round to collect stuff. She keeps saying she will let me know.

How can I chase this up without seeming massively grabby and ungrateful? It's not the case at all. I'm so grateful and am going to give her some money even though she hasn't asked, I'm just anxious we need to start buying! I don't want to buy stuff and for her to then say 'oh we could've given you that!'

How do I go about chasing this without being hugely annoying?

Write it off, buy what you need.

I agree, just forget about her.

@Haggishaggispudding I would, but she's got a next to me crib, Moses basket, baby bath, clothes, muslins etc. If it were just a couple of baby grows I would just forget it but it's a lot of stuff! Hmm...

Just buy what you need, couple of packs of vests and sleepsuits is enough to get going and a hat and snowsuit for outdoors

Do you drive also how close a friend?

She is lying.
Nobody keeps stuff bought for others for ages.

Get your own gear. People always promise you baby stuff. In reality it’s usually total crap they want rid off and not fit to be handed on to someone else.

If I were you I’d just go out and buy your own stuff. That way the extra stuff will be a bonus.

Sounds a bit annoying for you though.

Before you buy maybe just text: “right I’m going on a baby clothes shopping trip on x day! Any chance I could pick up the baby stuff you so kindly offered before that so I know what to buy? Thanks!”

If you get no joy then assume it won’t materialise.

Could just be a load of tat anyway

@Redken24 I do, and she's fairly close. She only lives round the corner!

How about
‘Hi friend, been thinking about your kind offer for the baby items. I would like to offer you £100 (or whatever amount) does this sound ok? If so when would we be able to collect them and if not then not to worry, hope to see you soon x’

Just text her and say hi, going shopping for baby bits. Just wondering if you still have Moses basket etc and how much you want for it. No worries if not.

Buy your own stuff and keep receipts. If she does bring stuff round, you can return yours.

I'd ring her and say you're going shopping for all the bits you need this weekend, if they've still got some stuff for you could you pick it up Friday evening/Saturday morning so you don't end up buying duplicates? No worries if you've decided to keep it.

Should get message across without seeming unreasonable?

I’m not sure you can chase her without being annoying; she’s had about three months to get the stuff to you and hasn’t. You’ve asked her a few times and nothing has happened. I think you either let it go, and buy what you need or ask outright if she’s still got the stuff because you’re getting close to needing it.

How far away does she live? Could you pretend you are driving in her area next weekend and ask if you could pop by and get it? That gives her a week to get it ready. If she says no then I think you have to write it off. In the circumstances you describe I personally would want to be reminded as if she is busy she might just have forgotten and think that you've got ages yet.

Do you think she's maybe changed her mind in case she wants to have another baby herself?

Forget it, buy your own.

Start buying keep reciepts.
Tell her your looking at something you know she doesn't have and tell her your going to have to buy more soon, ask her nicely "do you still have the baby stuff?"
If she doesn't offer it this time just forget it.
It's not worth losing a friend.

@mummmy2017 oh I don't think I would ever lose her as a friend over it?

It's just a bit annoying that's all!

Thanks everyone.

I don’t think the stuff is coming, and honestly I wouldn’t chase it anymore it is embarrassing.
She may have offered on a whim and reconsidered.
Keep the receipts and if she does appear miracleously you will be able to take it back. My guess is you won’t see her until baby is four weeks old or more and it is no longer an issue.

@powerwalk why is it embarrassing? She offered, I've asked, she keeps saying she's got it and still wants rid. I think it's embarrassing on her part if anything! I think I just need to be more blunt.

Leave it. Honestly. She may well decide that what is more important to her is to empty her loft and dump EVERYTHING on you. It happened to me twice when I was pregnant with no 3 (unexpectedly). I just sat down and cried the second time.

I would just leave it. It's been 3 months, it's obvious she regrets her offer but doesn't want to seem mean so doesn't want to say out right so hoping you will just forget. A next to me crib and all is expensive maybe she is keeping incase she has another baby

I wouldn't call the list you gave "bits and bobs"
Maybe she has realised she could make some money if she sold them?
I can see it's annoying but I don't think you can do anything.

Just message and say you need to start prepping for baby. Could you collect the stuff this week and how much does she want for it?
It doesn't sound at all grabby then as you are offering money.