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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did anyone get the birth they wanted?

269 replies

JillianHoltzmann · 15/09/2018 03:55

I'm 40+1 today and just read the thread about not getting the birth you wanted. To be honest, it scared the crap out of me! I totally get the need to share your experience, especially after a traumatic birth, but in the interest of balance I have to ask- did anyone's birth go exactly as planned?

OP posts:
youdialwetile · 15/09/2018 04:03

Not the first one (induced) but the 2nd and 3rd were pretty great.

Ozgirl75 · 15/09/2018 04:03

Mine was fab! Elective c section as I had diabetes and couldn’t be induced due to previous c section

Arrived fresh in the morning, had a spinal, baby was laid on my chest at 9.05, he breast fed immediately, we were back in my private room that morning.

scrivette · 15/09/2018 04:04

Yes both of mine were very stress free and the midwives were all lovely.

I didn't have anything on my birth plan though, I just wanted to see what happened at the time. I gave birth with just gas and air in the Midwifery Led Unit and my births were a really positive experience.

Good luck with yours.

villainousbroodmare · 15/09/2018 04:05

Yes. I had an elective caesarean three months ago with my twins (previously had EMCS after horrible failed induction with DS) and it was absolutely wonderful. Calm, painfree, chatting with the anaesthetist and surgeon in theatre, got to watch it all, in theatre at 7.30, babies at 8 and 8.05, easy recovery, was up walking around at 2pm. Bf both together in recovery and ever since with no significant discomfort. I loved it.

steff13 · 15/09/2018 04:06

I never had a birth plan. I went into labor, went to the hospital, and had a baby. Three times. The second time I got the epidural too late for it to work, but it wasn't that big of a deal really.

FourAlarmFire · 15/09/2018 04:09

No but my DC are wonderful and well worth going through a slightly crappy experience!

verybookish · 15/09/2018 04:12

Yes! I had two vaginal deliveries using hypnobirthing, active birth techniques (yoga) and only a bit of gas and air towards the end. Both of them were precipitous births (ie 4 and 2h long). I can honestly say that both labours were wonderful experiences though they did not go exactly how I thought they would.

HettieBettie · 15/09/2018 04:13

I had two natural hypno water births. Both lovely. Listen to the positive stories. You’ll be fine OP x

ContentiousOne · 15/09/2018 04:16

Yes, my second birth was really calm and everything went perfectly. Left for the birth centre after a few hours of manageable contractions (managed to eat the best bowl of minestrone soup ever before I left, 'cos I knew I'd get hungry later!), laboured at the birth centre for about 40 min ? no meds or other pain relief, just moving around as it suited. Gave birth to dd in a couple of pushes - no tearing. She was lively, I was not at all exhausted, gave her a breastfeed and she latched on like a champ. By 10.30 that night (I'd left home around 6) I was tucked up in bed with her, showered and fresh, and we had a good night's sleep, just waking for a feed part way through. I mean, it's ridiculous how perfectly it went. By day 5 we were out and about doing all the normal things.

(In case this story makes anyone want to vomit with envy, I gave birth to dd1 while having bronchitis - that was not fun - and my third was an all nighter labour and birth with a tongue tied bub and breastfeeding hell as the reward.)

Yogafailure · 15/09/2018 04:24

1st - complete nightmare - forceps, meds that didn't work, baby rushed to special care 7lb exactly
2nd - dream delivery except the PND as it threw into focus how crap the 1st time was 8lb 4
3rd - another dream delivery at 42 weeks except I had to fend them off inducing me and that baby was 9lb 7

2 and 3 were gas and air only as I was very certain of my wishes after DS1 was born and wasn't shy about vocalising them

Canuckduck · 15/09/2018 04:25

Mine were both at home with midwife help and just gas and air. Tucked up in my own bed immediately after. Both were very quick. The second scarily quick but overall both were great and relatively stress free.

isitmeinthewrong · 15/09/2018 04:25

I didn't, as I was hoping for a home-birth and ended up having to go to hospital, which I desperately wanted to avoid. That said though, I'm still really happy with my experience and found the midwives great and that they read and respected my "if I end up in hospital" birth plan.

I know a lot of people don't agree with birth plans, but I found that they really did help. I wrote 4, allowing for different situations in each so that I at least felt that at any given time someone could know what I would've preferred.

So I didn't get plan A, but I did get plan B and it was perfect, I was left alone in hospital to do my thing and the only intervention I had was an episiotomy, which of course, I had included in my "if I need intervention" part of the plan 😏

Just keep an open mind about what might happen and prepare for it, and hopefully you'll always get the birth you hoped for in the circumstances you find yourself in. Good luck OP

Florrieboo · 15/09/2018 04:34

Yes all of mine went to "plan" as such. Very little if any intervention and no pain relief.

Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 15/09/2018 04:44

I was lucky enough to have 2 amazing births.

1st I arrived at hospital when 5cm dilated. Laboured in the bath and gave birth on hands and knees on bathroom floor. Had to be given medication to stop the vomiting but otherwise just gas. 8 hours from start to finish.

2nd I didn't actually realise I was in proper labour, just felt like pressure and was uncomfortable sitting down. By the time i got to hospital i was 8cm dilated. My waters didnt break so had to have the Dr do it for me but otherwise normal and gave birth 3.5 hours after arriving at hospital. No pain relief at all and no tearing.

I think it is mostly a lot of luck but i also think I was informed, calm, have a fairly strong pain threshold, had average sized babies and did not go in with unrealistic expectations of how it should be. I hoped to avoid pain relief but was willing to do whatever it took to have a healthy baby and look after my body & mental health.

I personally found giving birth incredibly primal and exhilarating.

MarthasGinYard · 15/09/2018 04:50

Mine was perfect

ELCS

A truly amazing and calm experience

actualpuffins · 15/09/2018 04:55

Yes, first time round I had an epidural and a six hour labour. Second time I managed with gas and air, labour was the same length only the pushing out stage was six minutes instead of 45 minutes. I had done yoga and hypnobirthing in pregnancy this time. The breathing and visualisation really helped.

BabySharkDoDoDoDoDo · 15/09/2018 05:16

Yes. 4 times. Am very blessed.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 15/09/2018 05:18

Yes, in a way. I wouldn’t say I had it planned to the letter as I didn’t know what to expect with my first but I genuinely feel, even with a few things not going right, I had a good birth.

Amanduh · 15/09/2018 05:27

To be honest there was never a birth I ‘wanted’. Just for baby to be be safe and I’d take whatever came for me and baby to be safe and to cope! In the end the labour and birth was pretty horrific with no pain relief but that was due to negligence. But I don’t feel robbed of anything! I think it’s luck of the draw, and better if you don’t have expectations.

PhilomenaButterfly · 15/09/2018 05:30

I've had 4. My best one was DS2, my last one. I had a water birth with lavender oil. DS2 did get stuck and I had to get out, but it was still my best one.

peterpanwendy · 15/09/2018 05:39

No, first baby and a traumatic delivery. This was 4 weeks ago and I am still struggling to come to terms with what happened. I was very easy going and didn't have birth plan as such, I wanted my baby here safely and to do so we had to go through a really difficult birth. Not how I imagined it and quite sad that that's how it ended up but I have a beautiful baby so that's what matters now.

Littleloaf · 15/09/2018 05:40

I didn't have a birth plan. Labour lasted longer than I had hoped but the midwives were super and made me very comfortable; I even had time for a decent sleep! Then 10 minutes of pushing, no tearing, and out popped my beautiful baby!

Honestly I was absolutely shit-scared of giving birth but once it started all the fear went away. Am pregnant again now, still early days but not worried about the birth at all.

You'll be fine, and not long now til you get to hold your baby in your arms

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 15/09/2018 05:46

It depends how you go into it. If you expect a very specific process you'll be disappointed as you never know how it'll go.

I got the one I wanted as I went in with two things I wanted: the baby to be born and in the safest way possible (whether that was natural birth, c-section).

Fizzyhedgehog · 15/09/2018 05:47

Considering the only instruction on my birth plan was "I want an epidural!", I guess I did. I didn't go into it with an idea of how I wanted it to be, though. It was calm, after epidural pain-free, DS arrived safely and we left the hospital to go home a little over 12 hours later. The plan was mostly just to go with it.
Yes, he was two weeks overdue and I had to be induced, but that was in a way better, since DH doesn't drive and we were already trying to figure out how I'd make it to hospital if DS were to make an unexpected appearance.

polkadotpixie · 15/09/2018 05:58

No. I wanted a water birth in the MLU and ended up with a long drawn out induction with continuous monitoring and an epidural in the delivery suite that ended in EMCS

I actually don't mind though. Although it wasn't what I wanted, was very tiring (56 hours) and my c section went wrong (baby flipped mid removal and tore my uterus), it was actually still a lovely experience, the care I received throughout was exemplary and I got my healthy baby boy safely delivered at the end of it so I'm totally happy 😊