Did anyone get the birth they wanted?

[JillianHoltzmann]

I'm 40+1 today and just read the thread about not getting the birth you wanted. To be honest, it scared the crap out of me! I totally get the need to share your experience, especially after a traumatic birth, but in the interest of balance I have to ask- did anyone's birth go exactly as planned?

Yes. My birth plan both times was

1. no epidural under any circumstances, full anaesthetic only. (Didn't need either thankfully)
2. Get the baby out.

I’ve had three and never written a birth plan. I’m a firm believer in dealing with whatever happens.
Which is just as well with my obstetric history

Yes...3 times over. Natural birth with no intervention!

Yes. Mine was longer than I would ever have expected - 32 hrs from start to finish, but my contractions slowed right down in early labour for a good few hours.
I wanted to stay on the mlu, a water birth, just gas and air and tens before the pool, no emcs, ventouse, forceps, episiotomy, epidural (obvs all subject to medical necessity). It all went how I hoped and amazingly, I even got the solitary pool on the mlu!

Good luck with the upcoming birth, enjoy that precious tiny newborn.

No, but it really doesn't matter. Find the bit you liked and hold onto that. We walked to the hospital (for induction that became caesarean), we had a nice ward with good staff and we walked him home 2 days later. He was fine, the process doesn't matter.

I’m about to face the birth I reallly really didn’t want which is induced. I’m so disappointed as my waters have broken and I’ve held off induction for 48 hours now, i was so sure I’d go on my own as I did with my 1st birth after PROM, which was fairly long and back to back but manageable. I really thought I’d get an easier less painful birth this time.

P.s re labour slowing down, that was early labour at home. By the time I got to hospital at 10pm, I was 5cms and it just went on from there well, with DS born at 8am.

I had two healthy children. The last hour or so of labour with DC1 was rubbish but the 40+ weeks of pregnancy before that were generally OK and the subsequent 9 years have been great.
And loads of people don't post about their "easy" births because there isn't much of an story. I know umpteen people who seemed to go "oh, I wonder if that twinge is a contraction; oh, there's another perhaps it is, let's go to hospital; oh, I'm 10cm dilated; owww, oh there's my baby". The ones like that which stick in my mind are the ones who went to family weddings later that day (yes, one friend gave birth at 10am and was there for her brother's wedding at 2pm) or to christenings the next day (nothing like turning up expecting to see one of your friends at 38w pregnant and instead she's holding a 14hr our baby and going "surprise") and all sorts of things like that.

Don’t be scared. Think of the relief of losing 2 stone, of no achey back, of being able to eat again.
The only absolute on my plan was I didn’t want an epidural - I hated the idea of anyone going near my spine, and I achieved that.
And ds came out perfectly healthy, and I was on my feet in 12 hours and back in my jeans in 10 days, so all good too.
You tend to forget the detail partly because it’s exhausting and partly due to the pain relief.
I soooo envy you, i’m too old to have another one . Congratulations.

Yes, 6 hours with the first, less than 1 with the second. No pain relief, no stitches, back home the same day. I accidentally bit my husband, but there you go. It can’t all be perfect.

(It was no accident)

Yes! A water birth in the midwife unit, just gas and air. Already fully dilated when I arrived at the hospital and baby appeared less than two hours later. I found yoga breathing really helped. No tears, just a bit grazed. Arrived at 1pm, was home by 9 or 10pm. Good luck!

I think the key thing is not to be too rigid in the plans. I never had a specific plan, just to get the baby here with as little intervention as possible. DC1 was born after 14 hours labour with just a small tear, very calm, relaxed. Home 24 hrs later. DC2 was the perfect birth, contractions in early hours, left for hospital(10 mins drive) at 8am, baby born at 8.17am! Not even a hair out of place or a bead of sweat. We were back home on the sofa by 5pm. I felt amazing which all helped with establishing breastfeeding, routine Etc. If you have loads of expectations you are more likely to be disappointed. I do consider myself very lucky that they arrived safely and with no trauma.

Sorry meant to add my 1st birth was great and delivery pretty textbook even though baby was back to back and 36 weeks gestation so I was extra nervous. I didn’t write a plan though. I think the thing is seeing that the end is in sight. It was long and arduous but as soon as they could update me on my progress I found a new strength. The most disheartening part is when you imagine you must be further along than you are, but midwives aren’t always right at judging on contractions alone (they kept telling me I was still in early labour and I was actually 7cm!) so I’d always insist on an examination now (providing there’s no risk of infection)

Weirdly yes. I went straight to the drip induction and had an epidural so it was only six hours, little pain and I was too out of it to dwell on the fact that I had two of the leading causes of maternal death.

I think my low expectations helped.

I like quite a few others here, had no plans. In the end the actual births (I've had three) were amazing. Hypnobirthing is really useful, even if you just listen to the CD over the last couple of weeks. It just helps to relax you.

Not what I wanted at all (induced) but it certainly wasn’t a negative experience and I have my beautiful daughter and that’s all that matters.

Yes. Both active births, at home, supported by calm and reassuring midwives and by family who loved me. I was lucky yes, but lots of people are (and many more than it looks from reading the internet!). All best wishes to you OP.

Yes water births. First was slow but straightforward. Second I’d wish on everyone. Very relaxed and in and out of hospital in less than 6 hours! I was very lucky!

I did as i was alive and got a live baby that was my birth plan. Seriously op you cant plan birth. Its amazing and tbh one of the best days of my life as i meet dd.

One unplanned but really good water birth (a few stitches, fine). One birth in a hospital where pools weren't available and where they don't have gas and air so I did it naturally without anything. Also went very well and no stitches.

I never had a birth plan - all I wanted was a safe delivery with a healthy baby at the end.
The only thing I wanted to avoid was forceps but I figured that they don’t use them unless they absolutely need to so that was that.

I was induced - which was absolutely fine. I don’t understand why it’s something people want to avoid at all costs. It was lovely having the day planned that I was going in.
After induction they broke my waters and gave me an epidural. I napped through my contractions as I was completely pain free, and the midwife had to wake me up when it was time to push. It was calm, relaxing and just really lovely.
I’d definitely choose an epidural every time - it allowed me and DP to enjoy every second of the birth together as I was so happy and relaxed. We both felt the baby’s head coming out and in 50mins of pushing I had delivered him with no tears at all just one small graze. I had skin to skin, and fed him, and had full feeling back after about an hour.
It was absolutely perfect.

Yes. I was very fortunate and got the birth I wanted both times, not that unplanned that hard. I knew my preference assuming things went well was to deliver in the midwife led unit, in the pool, ideally without pain relief.

Both times I laboured in the water, had no pain relief, and it was nice and speedy with no complications. The only downside either time was a small tear that needed some small stitches in my first birth.

Second time around my son almost literally popped out and I was drinking tea 20 minutes later.

One thing I did do was a lot of reading about what could go wrong and how the doctors would likely deal with things if something happened. I felt stronger knowing I understood a bit about what could happen so if I had to make a decision, or if I needed pain relief, or if I wasn't coping, I was making an informed choice.

Yes, pretty much every time. I wanted minimal medical intervention and to be able to get up as quickly as possible afterwards with a quick recovery.
My first birth was a bit dodgy because you had to stay in hospital for 5 days afterwards, also I had stitches that got infected. My 2nd and 3rd births were absolutely fine though. Quick and easy, a little bit of gas and air, no stitches, showered and dressed an hour later. Was home 3 hours after my 2nd birth, had a home birth with my 3rd.

@MaryShelley, I also slept through a lot of it and was almost annoyed when they told me I was fully dilated.