AIBU to be annoyed that MIL is giving niece a free flat during university?

[breezeanddaisy]

Hi,

I've namechanged for obvious reasons.

My daughter and her cousin both started university this year. They're both at different ones.

My MIL owns a flat that usually gets rents out, but since the last tenant left, she has left it empty and ready for when her other grandchild started university (as it's in the same town as the university she got a place at/wanted to go). She gets it for nothing, so it's free for her.

My DD is in pretty shitty accommodation and MIL hasn't really given anything to her to make it fair.

AIBU?

yes YABU

So she’s blatantly treating her 2 grand daughters differently?

What does DH say?

Is it a step grandchild?

But presumably mil doesn’t own a flat in the city your daughter is going to university?

YABU. What could she do to make it fair? Charge your niece half the rental value of the flat and pass it on to your DD?
Your MIL is helping because she has a flat available in the town your niece is in.

What do you want your MIL to give your dd? Maybe she can’t afford to help out financially?

Your MIL has a resource available to help one grandchild, purely by chance. She is using it to help her grandchild. That doesn't mean she owes any other grandchild anything at all.

Has she thought it through? She probably hasn’t considered it in comparison terms.

Maybe MIL has no extra cash as she is missing out on rental income.
If your DD had gone to the same uni as her cousin could they have shared the flat?

so your niece goes rob uni in the same town as your mils flat and your daughter goes to uni in another town? If so, yabu. If you wanted your dd to have the use of the flat, she should’ve gone to the same uni and flat shared with her cousin!

Unless your MIL also owns an unoccupied flat in the same town/city where DD is going to University that she hasn't offered to DD then I'm afraid YABU

@Atalune Yes, treating them different is how I view it.

DH is also annoyed by it, but doesn't feel he can say anything.

No, no step grandchild.

@MardyArabella No she doesn't but she is losing a hell of a lot by giving that to her for nothing and she isn't short of money and knows how shitty DD's place is.

YABU as Rainbowturkey says. Maybe she only has the flat and no cash assets.

Eithet way I wouldn't give a relative petrol money to make up for the fact that I drive past another so give them a lift.

Without knowing other factors it’s difficult to say.
For example are you much more wealthy than your dp/dh sibling. Is her doing this giving your neice an opportunity she otherwise wouldn’t have had?
Also tread carefully how do you know that in ten years time she won’t say to your dd here is 10k for your wedding or a car or something like that in lieu for the flat she has gifted the use of to your neice?

Massively unreasonable!! So she has a flat sitting idle that she is going to let her grandchild stay in and you what? Want to her to hand over cash to balance it out? No fucking way! If they were going to the same uni or uni in the same town and she was giving to one and not the other that would be one thing but this is totally different. You actually sound petty and jealous

Just want to say, she has a lot of money. DH's dad died not long ago, so a business was sold.

I wouldn't expect her to give DD money, but to make it fair, yes, I think would have been nice.

I might be missing the point here but living in shitty accommodation with your mates is half the fun when you're at uni isn't it?

What she does is none of your concern. You sound jealous and entitled.

Well given the other circumstances I would feel similar to you.

However I wouldn’t feel able to say anything. It was done with love and unthinkingly for your dd. But she can help one and is, try not to view it as a dig to your dd. It isn’t.

So what do you and your DH think your MIL should do to make it equal?

Petty and jealous? What of? I feel bad for my daughter. I couldn't really care less, I don't need a flat do I? But I do feel bad for my DD and we have not a lot to help her out.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she gifts your dd something else. A car on passing her test or some other help.

Unless DD changes course to be in the same city, then it can't be helped really.

You could encourage her to change, as you feel so strongly that accommodation is important.

Because the difference is based on geography, not favouritism

Yabvu. Hth.

Oh and we all lived in shitty accommodation at uni and survived. It’s part of the experience.