What is your opinion of two parents working full time with young kids?

[Onlyfools]

Is it doable? Do you do it and if so are you happy?

Kids are 2 & 7 and ive been a SAHM for 2.5 years. Before this I got a degree and job.

I have an interview for a job which would use the skills of my previous job. It’s full time 40 hours per week but only a 5 minute drive from my house.

Nursery would be used most likely on 4-5 days for youngest. I could potentially get family to help get older child from school.

Would you do it? I feel unsure that I would cope with leaving the kids so long. But also currently feel unfulfilled in life and looking for something else.

Other job is a receptionist earning between £200-£500 a month. Evenings and weekends only so no childcare required. No guaranteed hours however.

We don’t need the money it would be nice to have some extra however.

Which option would you chose if you were me.

I would probably go ft role as it is hopefully more fulfilling. But I would outsource everything I could especially as money is not the biggest motivator in your case even if you end up breaking even after pension contributions, and everything else. So I would get a cleaner/housekeeper twice a week, send out ironing, gardener, etc. A friend of mine gets a nursery worker to come before and after nursery for wrap around care. That would be amazing. Anything that would maximise your family/down time. I would try to negotiate a slight reduction in hours/flexible working once I got my foot in the door. See how it goes for a while. Hopefully by the time the youngest is going to school you are in a better place to reduce hours - reception year is when I think kids really need their parents to be around a bit more.

OP you have no pension, and even if you were married if your OH left you would be up sh*t creek. Take the FT job and once you are in it see what scope there is to work with flexibility.

I would stay part-time whilst they were little which will then give you another 25+ years to go fulltime and work on your pension later on. Or you go full-time and your dh goes part-time. Or you keep looking for a better job that offers part-time.

And I don't know any 7 year old that would enjoy being in afterschool club until 5.3pm/6pm 5 days a week.

OH couldn’t go part time unfortunately. His job is what supports us. He’s established and at a high level within the management team. He does work from home however and doesn’t exactly have a boss to answer to so could be available if required

Those are all reasons that would make it even easier to request reduced hours/flexible working. He just doesn’t want to.

Oh and get married! The fancy wedding can come later.

I missed that you weren't married. In that case I change my advice - full time job, now. You're not protected at all.

I also missed that you’re not married. 100% full time job.

OH couldn’t go part time unfortunately. His job is what supports us. He’s established and at a high level within the management team. He does work from home however and doesn’t exactly have a boss to answer to so could be available if required

Those are all reasons that would make it even easier to request reduced hours/flexible working. He just doesn’t want to.

Totally agree with this
Absolutely no reason why a senior manager can’t be part time. 3 of our senior leadership team are part time (2 women - me included- and 1 man). There are lots of examples of CEOs and other senior roles who make it work very well
timewise.co.uk/power-50/

Could you apply for flexible working and do your 40 hours over 4 days?
In your shoes this is probably what I would aim for but take the FT option. I'm quite driven by money and career tho bit equally you have to have quality family time too so the cleaner idea is excellent and DH needs to be mega efficient working from home to do the other odd bit here and there to help the household.

DH and I work FT (35 hours) but we split all chores and childcare outside of school hours 50/50 so it works for us. Our jobs are also quite flexible so we regularly work from home.

If your DH is willing to step up I’d say go FT.

I've worked full time (and had short maternity leaves) except for one break when we first emigrated and I couldn't work and another just this last year (both my children are now at university so this was for dd's last year of school). dh also worked full time with a period of part time when our children were fairly small and then a long period SAHP when they were in late primary. Don't think that just because you go full time now that's it forever, but do be aware that getting back into a well paid job after a long period of time out is very difficult. In short this seems like an incredible opportunity. Take it! If after a while it doesn't seem right for you as a family reevaluate, if you say no to what seems to me to be a perfect opportunity to restart your career be aware that you may not get another chance so good, but may be limited to poorly paid zero hours type jobs for the foreseeable future instead.

Thanks for all the responses.

I’ve spoken to family and can get Ds7 picked up from school everyday.

Also have potentially two days of childcare with auntie and gran for Dd2.

I’m still not 100% sure what I’ll do. I’m tempted to take it but wonder if I’ll be happy. Wonder if I should ask for 4 days now and if they say no then leave it. 4 days would be ideal and the max id ideally like to work right now.

“Where we live the majority of nurseries are in built up central areas so most don't even have a proper garden, just a few meters of concrete out the back door and that's it. I couldn't imagine my son going to one of these un-stimulating baby prisons for over 40 hours of their week.”

My son’s nursery has a tarmacked outside play area. He seems happy and well looked after there but thanks for informing me that in fact we’re sending him to an ‘unstimulating baby prison’.

Do whatever will work best for you as a family and for you. I personally couldn’t think of anything worse than working FT with an under 2 at home

didn’t finish my message, sorry! I wouldn’t like my ds in full time nursery. But there are also some people couldn’t think of anything worse than being at home, some don’t have the money, some don’t want to and value their career path! It’s all different. I wouldn’t judge anyone for whatever they do for the best fit to their family and life!

Hard work is my thoughts, hopefully they both work as a team so one isn’t left doing more. Hope they get quality family time

Get a cleaner

FT.
I’m with BarbarianMum on this. My DH has been diagnosed with a terminal illness this year and as a (very nearly) FT worker I know I can support my family by myself when the time comes. I know my situation is pretty rare but not vanishingly so.
Try it. If it’s not working, do something else.

You should do what your heart tells you is right. I went back to work 2 days a week for no other reason than I needed to be something other than a mum. We done need the money but I need the sanity. Love my children, but forgot who I was, so went back much to hubby and family’s bewilderment!
Do what you want to do and if your happy, your family will be happy xx

Also just to add I’ve recently had my pension f.c. statement & as my company puts in 15% if I continue to work 4 or 5 days it would make a huge difference. I don’t expect to ever get the state pension so it has made me think.

take the opportunity! 5 or 4 days, but the longer you wait, the harder it will be to get any kind of decently paid job. you can always reduce hours/ get out again if it doesn't work out, but this is a huge opportunity

don't only think about now - will you be happy working low paid jobs when you are 70 because of no pension? or sitting st the tills at tescos because something happened to your husband for minimal pay (like my froend with a PhD and 5 years "familytime")

OP: I’m still not 100% sure what I’ll do. I’m tempted to take it but wonder if I’ll be happy. Wonder if I should ask for 4 days now and if they say no then leave it. 4 days would be ideal and the max id ideally like to work right now.

Cutting a ft role from 5 days to 4 days is generally do-able, particularly if you are prepared to be flexible. The truth is, if this is a professional/executive role, you will probably end up doing 5 days work in 4 days anyway. That is why employers are prepared to go down to 4 days. It costs them less and can still generally be covered without an extra hire/work share. At worst, you can ask for one day from home.

Since this is your area of expertise, I presume you have some idea of how the job can be done and how inherently flexible it is.

You can play hardball re: 4 days if you are offered. Or you can go softer on the negotiations by raising the possibility of 4 days and see how receptive the employer is. Or you can go in ft and explore if other employees have a flexible arrangement there. If so, the doors right open for you to ask. They will be hard pressed to refuse as the precedent has already been set. Which you decide to do depends on your negotiating power, what is your competition and how badly you want the role.

My inclination is to go for the second approach, after you have been offered.

I haven’t RTFT but for me, both of us working FT didn’t work at all. However I wouldn’t been keen on evening and weekend work (I work PT during the week and am aware I’m very lucky!) In your position I’d probably choose FT especially if it really is 40 hours and you won’t be expected to do more?

A job 5 minutes away that pays well and weekends and evenings free
Other parent on hand for.pick.ups family help
Pension etc paid leave and sick pay
Try it for.12.months then make an informed decision
But right now you have no pension nothing if the dad drops dead tomorrow.what is in place ? Who owns the house ? How will.mortgage be paid ? Is there life Insurance in place ?
It s a long term strategy as well.
You won't be chained if you don't like it after your proba tion period you can leave but think strategically too... If evening and weekend work really works as a family when by working the Mon to.fri you can afford and have time for really nice family weekends get that NT membership etc
You won't know unless you try