What is your opinion of two parents working full time with young kids?

[Onlyfools]

Is it doable? Do you do it and if so are you happy?

Kids are 2 & 7 and ive been a SAHM for 2.5 years. Before this I got a degree and job.

I have an interview for a job which would use the skills of my previous job. It’s full time 40 hours per week but only a 5 minute drive from my house.

Nursery would be used most likely on 4-5 days for youngest. I could potentially get family to help get older child from school.

Would you do it? I feel unsure that I would cope with leaving the kids so long. But also currently feel unfulfilled in life and looking for something else.

Other job is a receptionist earning between £200-£500 a month. Evenings and weekends only so no childcare required. No guaranteed hours however.

We don’t need the money it would be nice to have some extra however.

Which option would you chose if you were me.

The great John Wesley said, “earn as much as you can”.

Could your husband go part time?

Personally I think it's hard with a 2yo, but it might be worth it for the right job. I'd certainly look at asking for flexible working once you've been there a year or so.

The FT role sounds good and quite managable. It would be worth getting a cleaner to ease the load. If I ever go back to FT work, a cleaner would be non-negotiable!

There are various costs and benefits to different jobs, not all of them around immediate finances. You have support which makes a signifcant difference.

Different situation here, I'm single, with a 1 and 3 yr old and work 2.5 days a week. It's enough, I'd honestly struggle to manage any more and would have struggled even more so before we separated as husband did sod all. BUT that's a totally different perspective than if had pulled his weight. I would still rather part time until school starts for the 2yr old I think.

Personally, money aside, I wouldn't do either with a 2 year old. Given the choice I would work part time during the week. I'd reconsider when both kids in school full time.

The thing is, once DC2 is in school your experience will be another two years out of date, and the chances of getting a job you're qualified for are much slimmer.

I think you should go for it, but if you're concerned about the impact on the children can your DH drop his hours say to a four-day week, given that he presumably is more established in his role?

I work FT with 3dcs but I'm on my own. It can be done but you need to be really good at time management, planning and budgeting. The biggest piece of advice I can give for FT working with DC's is; meal plan and use the slow cooker and home delivery for shopping.

DH and I both worked full time when our twins were two (although I worked Saturday instead of Tuesday. It was fine. Don't feel I missed anything in particular, still have a lovely close relationship with both of them (age nearly 10 now). They don't remember their time in nursery tbh, they only remember from when they started pre-school.

With the additional info about your OH working from home I'd do the full time. The travel time for both of you is negligible and that's a huge factor.

If it's not working then you could either ask for flexibility eg compressed days or working from home or reduced hours.

Both my husband and I work full time - my DD has just started school and I am pregnant with number 2. I will have my mat leave a go back to work hopefully 4 days. Your DC will adjust - if you want to work FT then do it!

OH couldn’t go part time unfortunately. His job is what supports us. He’s established and at a high level within the management team. He does work from home however and doesn’t exactly have a boss to answer to so could be available if required.

He doesn’t consider these things as he’s just wired differently from me. He doesn’t miss the kids (within reason), experience guilt etc. His job is his passion and that’s great from him and works for us.

I’ve obviously been at home for a while and I’ve grown very attached and have struggled to be separated from the youngest. Recently however I’m doing better and actually craving tome away as it’s so tedious and relentless.

Also are you married? If not,you need to take the full time to protect yourself and your children

Not married but will be within a year or so.

Of the two definitely the FT fulfilling role rather than the PT weekends and evenings. Also if you leave it much longer you may struggle to get back into your chosen field while atm it is doable as things haven't moved on that much.

I worked FT when my DC were small (as did DH). In fact, I got a new job when they were 3 and 5 which involved retraining (with associated professional exams). Fortunately DH was able to stay put and wait out my training period before he progressed his career. I subsequently did the same while he focused on his career.

Two parents working FT is fine, but in my experience only one of you can seriously concentrate on career progression at any one point in time.

Definitely full time. You'll be glad of it in the event of a split/death/once children are grown up.

I work full time as a single parent and do absolutely fine. You have someone else there to share the load with so you'll also be absolutely fine!

take the FT job..
get a cleaner
accept tyour going to have to be organised..
i did sahm, then wfh then part time term time and now ft in 2 diff jobs but my earning power plummeted as I had such a big gap...

we have struggled with me going up to FT from pt....mainly domestic organisational stuff much better to do FT then go PT if you can!

if it really doesnt work then you can leave...but def go for it....I am quite envious of my friends that have managed to keep their careers going.... most do some sort of reduced in office hours (compressed/part time etc ) I like my work but its not as interesting as pre dc ...

100% the FT role! For me and a lot of my friends it’s completely normal that 2 parents work full time, it’s needed to get a mortgage. I had to go back FT when my youngest was 3. It’s been fine, you just need to get organised.
A 5 minute commute sounds like a dream too.

FT job, all the way! I took on a FT job in central London when DC were 1 and 2 - it was a training role (so hard work) and we barely broke even at the end of the month, but it meant I had time in role when DC1 started school and so could drop to working school hours only. It worked out really well.

If you've got an offer of FT work a 5 minute drive from your house, that is amazing - seize it with both hands! Youngest will enjoy nursery and it will be good training for school. Older one may miss having you around to facilitate playdates etc after school but there's always weekend outings with friends.

GO FOR IT.

I don’t see why OP and a PP have both suggested waiting a year in a new job before requesting part time. I think you could request it at the job offer and negotiation stage. Or after the probation period.

It’s a generalisation but women are often afraid to ask - be bold!

I wouldnt. I dont actually know any couple that does in our school (3 form entry) although I suspect maybe someone does?

Ive really valued time with the children and it was what I really wanted to do. However Ive lost out career and pension wise.

2 2/3 jobs would be good in my ideal world!

I'd bite their hand off.

Both my husband and I work fulltime, we have a son, who is nearly three.

Our son goes to fulltime nursery, he loves it. It is expensive though - for us (we spend £1000 a month on childcare), our combined monthly take home pay is around £3500, so a good chunk of it goes on nursery fees. I only mention this because it's a big expense and we do struggle financially - so much so that we've decided that we can't afford another child ().

I work 5 minutes walk from my home, so similar to your (potential) situation. This makes it so much easier! It does mean that if our son needs to come home from nursery because he's ill, it's me who collects him - but my husband (nearly) always organises to take the next day off to care for him, and we take it in turns so neither employer can get the hump (well, they do, but they also have to be reasonable as do we).

Working so close to home means I can pop back on my lunch break and do some odd jobs round the house (laundry mostly, washing up or hoovering), but not every day because that's just exhausting! I did get a bit pissed off with doing all the housework, so ranted to my husband and now we take it in turns on the weekend, where one of us will take our son out for the day and the other cleans - we do this most weekends, and have a rule that we always have one family day each weekend that we spend together.

This is what works for us. Everyone is different.

If I was you, I'd take the job you have skills in. You'll get a better pension, with it being full time, and I expect it would be more fulfilling if you already have experience in that area - work has to be worthwhile for you to send your child to nursery (i know this because I stupidly took a job that I didn't want, and was a long way away and it was not worth being away from my boy for - I lasted 9 months and was a sahm for 6 months before getting my current job because I was much more picky about the jobs I was prepared to take - even though we we're seriously screwed financially during that time). Being close to home means you can get back to the children should they need it (but do make sure your other half pulls his weight on this front, or you may not last long in the job!) You could even do what I do, and pop home to do a bit of housework to minimise what needs doing outside of work hours. Up to you.

I don't know what it's like once the children are at school though, but assume that after school clubs exist in your area and you could look into that for your older child? That's my plan for when the time comes!

Best of luck, whatever you choose to do.

I'd take the ft job. DH and I both work full time but we are both lucky to be home based. Our two are 5 and 2. I think that the advantage of having your husband working from home is a real help. Once your youngest is 3 you can qualify for 30 hours free childcare in term time. Get a year done in the job and reassess. You could always see if you could work from home or go part time.

I am in a similar position, I am hoping to build up my pension and with any luck once I’m bedded in be able to get some flexible working or even go part time in the long term. You might be able to do the same, You’re lucky in that it’s only 5 mins away and you have family help - I’ve for at least 45 mins and no help at all but I think it’s worth it.

Go for it!

Btw, make sure your child benefit is under your name as it means that you're paying in to a pension. Even if you are not eligible for child benefit because your spouse earns too much, you can still register so that it's counting as paying into a pension.. At least, that's how I understand it - I may be wrong. It's worth having a look so that you're not losing out.