Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think she was a self a self righteous interfering busybody?

257 replies

NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 09:19

Probably get flamed by all the 'rules is rules' people here but here goes.So me and my mum are in Morrison's underground car park yesterday looking for a parking space.My mum,who has a blue badge, due to the fact she has terminal cancer, is driving.She drives past the disabled parking bay(space for less than a dozen cars) which is full,so stops directly at the end of this bay which happens to be a parent and child bay and says 'I'll stop here'.This bay used to be a disabled bay and has has room for about a dozen cars and has only one car in it-a people carrier with a man in the driving seat and a kid/kids in the back.I tell my mum she can't really as it's for parents with kids now and she's like 'Well I've always parked here' LOL and I'm like 'Well you can't now,but if you want to risk a fine it's up to you'.Anyhoo as we're merrily bickering away-engine not even switched off- yet a woman approaches the car that the bloke and kids are in and shouts at my mum 'It's for people with kids!' then shouts the same again before we've even had the chance to respond.Well excuse me but no-one shouts at my mum like that,so I lost it a bit and a full on argument ensued,where I pointed out to her that there were so many mother and child spaces free(just behind us,in the lane next to the full disabled bay there was another double bay for them with lots of spaces free too),and that my mum was disabled and her parking there wouldn't affect anyone and if she wanted to risk a fine what the hell did it have to do with her! I did call her a couple of names-an interfering cow (which she is)being one of them,and it wasn't my finest moment but I don't understand why she would start shouting at an elderly person in such an aggressive manner for,in my mind,such a trivial thing.AIBU?

OP posts:
maxthemartian · 08/09/2018 09:21

I believe that, unlike disabled spaces where you need a blue badge, those are courtesy spaces and not legally enforced so you can park away, no fine risk.

DingDongDenny · 08/09/2018 09:43

YABU to argue with your mum in the first place. She was right

NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 09:44

Oh really maxthemartian? That's interesting.I wish I'd known that at the time.And thinking about it we weren't breaching any rules anyway, as she's a parent and was accompanied by me, her child Grin

OP posts:
NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 09:46

Haha thank you DingDongDenny.yes she usually is Smile

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 08/09/2018 09:47

the lady in question was only saying the same as you so ywbvu to shout at her like that.

frasersmummy · 08/09/2018 09:48

A blue badge entitles you to park in any space. But there is no need for full.blown name calling arguments over it.

GabriellaMontez · 08/09/2018 09:49

You're mum was right.

No need to argue with these people. Just invite them to report your mum in store and let them decide if blue badge holders may use a parent and child space.

YolandaTheYeti · 08/09/2018 09:51

I thought blue badge holders could park in parent and child spaces anyway 🤷‍♀️. So ywbu to argue with your ma!

Fatted · 08/09/2018 09:54

Blue badge holders can park in Parent and child spaces.

Doesn't need to resort to a slanging match though!

NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 09:54

the lady in question was only saying the same as you so ywbvu to shout at her like that
I was playfully bickering with my mum(we do it all the time) and I was only worried about her maybe getting a fine,which I'm sure the woman wasn't! So you think it's ok for her to shout at my mum but not for me to shout at her?

OP posts:
5SecondsFromWilding · 08/09/2018 09:55

Well it doesn't sound like you've shown your best side. Sounds like you've started having a pop like you were unable to control yourself. If your response had been along the lines of 'my mum had a blue badge and all the disabled parking spaces are taken so go away and stop shouting at the elderly' then I'd be with you. But people getting that lairy in public over something essentially trivial always gets a Hmm from me.

couchparsnip · 08/09/2018 09:55

I can understand you wanting to defend your mum. What did she think of your outburst?
I'd be mortified but secretly proud if my DD defended me like that.
And she was right to park there.

YolandaTheYeti · 08/09/2018 09:57

www.saga.co.uk/magazine/motoring/cars/using/can-a-blue-badge-holder-park-in-a-parent-and-child-space

Hmmm maybe not as clear cut as I thought, but also not as clear cut as the op and the woman thought either - ie, not definitely wrong to park there.

Returnofthesmileybar · 08/09/2018 09:58

Actually what's really annoying about this is it sounds like one the dad was pulled in with the kids while the mother ran in for something, that's not what p&c spaces are for. You see it all the time, an adult with a car full of kids just sitting there waiting for someone. So by the sounds of it she didn't need to be nearer or need a wider space either.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 08/09/2018 10:01

My mum used to park in these spaces when taking my elderly granny shopping, pointing out that she was using the space precisely as it was intended, parent and child.

NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 10:01

You people saying that there was no need for name-calling,I already said it wasn't my finest hour, but to me that woman was aggressive bordering on bullyish towards a person that ,along with my kids, I love more than anyone in this world.Of course it's going to get my back up.

OP posts:
MrBeansXmasTurkey · 08/09/2018 10:03

A blue badge only entitles you to park on council owned land so a private carpark has its own rules. Having said that I would be most amazed if the supermarket did not agree that a blue badge holder could park in any safe space.

NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 10:04

No need to argue with these people. Just invite them to report your mum in store and let them decide if blue badge holders may use a parent and child space.
I agree this would have been the sensible thing to do.

OP posts:
YolandaTheYeti · 08/09/2018 10:06

My mum used to park in these spaces when taking my elderly granny shopping, pointing out that she was using the space precisely as it was intended, parent and child.*

Peter Kay makes a similar joke!

They prevent this happening now by putting up signs stating they are for people with young children / babies / toddlers; different signs depending on which shop.

It does annoy me no end when someone without a blue badge or children uses them though, or, as a pp said, parks up with dcs while an adult runs in.

5SecondsFromWilding · 08/09/2018 10:08

Your DM was NBU to park there.

The woman was BU for going about challenging your DM the way she did.

You were BU 3 fold. Firstly, for thinking your mum shouldn't have parked there. Then for behaving the way that you did. And now for saying Of course it's going to get my back up as if your reaction was completely normal.

NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 10:14

I can understand you wanting to defend your mum. What did she think of your outburst?
I'd be mortified but secretly proud if my DD defended me like that.
And she was right to park there.

She looked a bit mortified to be honest,I'm not usually such a confrontational person so I think it shocked her.I wanted to keep it light after so we didn't talk about it and just did our shopping.She did get her own back and embarrassed me by pushing a tiny kids trolley(they'd run out of big ones) around the store though.I'm actually surprised that that woman didn't pop up and start shouting That's for KIDS" lol.

OP posts:
Anxious2niteaaah · 08/09/2018 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Anxious2niteaaah · 08/09/2018 10:16

*Prams/car seats ...not prams/careers

BrokenWing · 08/09/2018 10:16

I park in P&C parking spaces with my mum's blue badge all the time.

If anyone commented (however aggressively) I would calmly say she has a blue badge she is allowed to display it and park here and walk away.

You need to calm down a bit and not add fuel to the fire in situations.

NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 10:18

Would it not get your back up then 5seconds? If not,please share your secret of how to remain calm and composed at all times.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread