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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think she was a self a self righteous interfering busybody?

257 replies

NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 09:19

Probably get flamed by all the 'rules is rules' people here but here goes.So me and my mum are in Morrison's underground car park yesterday looking for a parking space.My mum,who has a blue badge, due to the fact she has terminal cancer, is driving.She drives past the disabled parking bay(space for less than a dozen cars) which is full,so stops directly at the end of this bay which happens to be a parent and child bay and says 'I'll stop here'.This bay used to be a disabled bay and has has room for about a dozen cars and has only one car in it-a people carrier with a man in the driving seat and a kid/kids in the back.I tell my mum she can't really as it's for parents with kids now and she's like 'Well I've always parked here' LOL and I'm like 'Well you can't now,but if you want to risk a fine it's up to you'.Anyhoo as we're merrily bickering away-engine not even switched off- yet a woman approaches the car that the bloke and kids are in and shouts at my mum 'It's for people with kids!' then shouts the same again before we've even had the chance to respond.Well excuse me but no-one shouts at my mum like that,so I lost it a bit and a full on argument ensued,where I pointed out to her that there were so many mother and child spaces free(just behind us,in the lane next to the full disabled bay there was another double bay for them with lots of spaces free too),and that my mum was disabled and her parking there wouldn't affect anyone and if she wanted to risk a fine what the hell did it have to do with her! I did call her a couple of names-an interfering cow (which she is)being one of them,and it wasn't my finest moment but I don't understand why she would start shouting at an elderly person in such an aggressive manner for,in my mind,such a trivial thing.AIBU?

OP posts:
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 08/09/2018 11:40

Just because it used to be the disabled bay doesn't mean she's entitled to park there now, and having terminal cancer doesn't give special privileges to flout parking rules

The mother and baby parking spaces are there for a reason for parents who have to travel with babies, toddlers, prams/careers, baby change bags and all the other crap they need to carry so the closer spaces make it easier for them

Bloody hell. Did I really just read this self absorbed piece of rubbish?
Terminal cancer is easier to cope with than a changing bag?
I'm actually embarrassed for you

TheFairyCaravan · 08/09/2018 11:46

I've told people to fuck off before now when they've had a pop at me for parking in a P&C space with my BB. It hasn't been my finest hour but when it's taken me shed loads of painkillers and a huge amount of effort to leave the house I don't need some interfering twat challenging me about where I've parked.

DH or one of the kids (21&23)usually deal with it if they are with me

TooMuchPenis · 08/09/2018 13:45

et a woman approaches the car that the bloke and kids are in and shouts at my mum 'It's for people with kids!'

This sounds like bollocks anyway but surely the point of the parent and child spaces is that you need the space to take the child out of the car and you'd have said that to her at the time?

mostdays · 08/09/2018 13:50

Ywnbu
She may think twice about being such a tit in future
Although more likely she'll be puffed up with self righteousness and carry on shouting at people about parent/ child parking spaces.

Bimgy85 · 08/09/2018 14:07

Jesus OP I might talk back a bit to the person but calling names and shouting? How old are you 15?

SauvignonBlanche · 08/09/2018 14:19

Your DM was NBU in parking there as she has a BB.
The other woman was a cunt for having a go at you but YWBU to have shouted at her, dripping sarcasm would have been better.

@Anxious2nightaaah
Just because it used to be the disabled bay doesn't mean she's entitled to park there now, and having terminal cancer doesn't give special privileges to flout parking rules
Are you taking the piss as that’s one of the stupidest things I’ve seen on MN? Shock

Sirzy · 08/09/2018 14:23

Ds has a blue badge. I still use p and c spaces if either all disabled are full or due to lowsy planning the p and c spaces are more suitable!

LuckyDiamond · 08/09/2018 14:26

Parent and child spaces are a bunch of bullshit anyway. They should go and some of them turned into accessible spaces for people who really need them.

Not using contraception should not give people special parking privileges.

overnightangel · 08/09/2018 14:43

@NutElla5x
I work with disabled people and drive one in a van with a blue badge. If the disabled spaces are full I park on the parent and child bays. As for people saying you were out of order, fuck it, some people are nosey and rude and it doesn’t do any harm for them to have strip torn off them from time to time. I’m sorry to hear about your Mam Flowers

overnightangel · 08/09/2018 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 14:46

This sounds like bollocks anyway but surely the point of the parent and child spaces is that you need the space to take the child out of the car and you'd have said that to her at the time?
What sounds like bollocks exactly? I didn't confront her on that because for all I know they could have all shopped together and maybe she nipped back alone to use the loo or something.

OP posts:
Original poster
NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 14:56

Orchiddingme I think you've hit the nail on the head, and your post hit home so much that you actually made me well up you sod(lol)Thanks for being so understanding.Have you ever considered taking up counselling for a living? I think you'd be brilliant at it x

OP posts:
maxthemartian · 08/09/2018 14:57

I remember how protective I became of my mother when she was dying of cancer. She was so physically frail, it was a real gut-instinct feeling. That, coupled with the stress of her illness, means that I would not have been my best self if some twat had hassled us about where we'd parked and I'd likely have told them to fuck right off.
I'm normally a polite, reasonable person.

Original poster
NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 14:59

Jesus OP I might talk back a bit to the person but calling names and shouting? How old are you 15?
She started it! (shouted first)

OP posts:
Original poster
NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 15:02

Thank you overnightnightangel x

OP posts:
Original poster
NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 15:07

Ok too many people are being too nice (I was NOT expecting that) and it's making me emotional so I'm off but just want to say to the nice people on here thank you and to the twats fuck you! (smile] xx

OP posts:
KnotsInMay · 08/09/2018 15:09

“Jesus OP I might talk back a bit to the person but calling names and shouting? How old are you 15?”

“She started it! (shouted first)”

LOL .

5 rather than 15, maybe?

YeTalkShiteHen · 08/09/2018 15:12

Just because it used to be the disabled bay doesn't mean she's entitled to park there now, and having terminal cancer doesn't give special privileges to flout parking rules

Jesus wept there’s some belters on here today eh?

OP fwiw I’d have done exactly what you did. When my Mum had cancer I was extremely protective of her, and would have flipped it with anyone being so rude and aggressive to her.

KnotsInMay · 08/09/2018 15:12

Though I do understand how raw it can all feel. If you lost it because you felt raw, overwhelmed, protective, and this woman was indeed interfering, then just own it. It’s OK.

Jaxhog · 08/09/2018 15:24

I would have parked there. I have a disabled friend, and am truly fed up with not being able to park in a disabled space, despite having a blue badge. I also don't think the P&C spaces are legally enforceable.

Original poster
NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 15:38

Yes KnotsInMay I was actually joking.AND I told her kids that my mum was bigger than their mum.......that's a joke too FYI Hmm

OP posts:
Iwantaunicorn · 08/09/2018 15:39

Haven’t rtft, and going against the grain here, but it really pisses me off that people without young children park in parent and baby spaces. I have DTs, so need to get in and out of both back doors to get my kids in and out which given that the spaces round my neck of the woods have shrunk to the size of stamp is an absolute bloody nightmare.

Different scenario due to your Mum having a disabled badge, but it would’ve been better if she’d parked in a disabled bay, so people who need the parent and child spaces could’ve parked there instead - I can’t and won’t park in disabled spaces even though I actually need the space!

I’ve never had a go at anyone I’ve seen do it, so she was out of order. But even though (I think) with a disabled badge your mum can park wherever she damn well pleases, it would be nice if she could’ve parked somewhere else rather than use a parent and child bay.

maxthemartian · 08/09/2018 15:41

Iwantaunicorn the disabled bays were all taken. And she was as a BB holder perfectly entitled to park in a P&C space.
Do you honestly think your parking needs as a parent trump those with terminal cancer?

YeTalkShiteHen · 08/09/2018 15:44

P&C spaces are a courtesy, disabled parking spaces are legally enforceable.

The fact that they are treated as interchangeable by some parents is fucking appalling. Even considering them in the same context is ridiculously entitled.
Having kids isn’t a “need” for space, space would make life easier.

overnightangel · 08/09/2018 15:46

@Iwantaunicorn

“Not rtft”

“Different scenario due to your Mum having a disabled badge, but it would’ve been better if she’d parked in a disabled bay, so people who need the parent and child spaces could’ve parked there instead - I can’t and won’t park in disabled spaces even though I actually need the space!”

And the entirety of mumsnet literally and figuratively bangs their head against their screen in frustration

Clown