AIBU to think she was a self a self righteous interfering busybody?

[NutElla5x]

Probably get flamed by all the 'rules is rules' people here but here goes.So me and my mum are in Morrison's underground car park yesterday looking for a parking space.My mum,who has a blue badge, due to the fact she has terminal cancer, is driving.She drives past the disabled parking bay(space for less than a dozen cars) which is full,so stops directly at the end of this bay which happens to be a parent and child bay and says 'I'll stop here'.This bay used to be a disabled bay and has has room for about a dozen cars and has only one car in it-a people carrier with a man in the driving seat and a kid/kids in the back.I tell my mum she can't really as it's for parents with kids now and she's like 'Well I've always parked here' LOL and I'm like 'Well you can't now,but if you want to risk a fine it's up to you'.Anyhoo as we're merrily bickering away-engine not even switched off- yet a woman approaches the car that the bloke and kids are in and shouts at my mum 'It's for people with kids!' then shouts the same again before we've even had the chance to respond.Well excuse me but no-one shouts at my mum like that,so I lost it a bit and a full on argument ensued,where I pointed out to her that there were so many mother and child spaces free(just behind us,in the lane next to the full disabled bay there was another double bay for them with lots of spaces free too),and that my mum was disabled and her parking there wouldn't affect anyone and if she wanted to risk a fine what the hell did it have to do with her! I did call her a couple of names-an interfering cow (which she is)being one of them,and it wasn't my finest moment but I don't understand why she would start shouting at an elderly person in such an aggressive manner for,in my mind,such a trivial thing.AIBU?

People managed years ago before they were created

That’s a rubbish argument though. Cars were smaller and car seats were either non existent or smaller and left in the car.

In fact it said that you can park there as long as your youngest is up to 11y.o.

That’s not true as it depends on the rules specific to that car park.

I would like to see someone trying to ticket a blue badge holder parked in a disabled bay, I would imagine that the PR that would follow would soon see it scrapped!

MiddleAgedMe

It really gets my goat when people without kids use up the parent and child bays. There never seem to be enough spaces to me. So I would probably be that interfering busy body who said something. However, if there were loads of spaces as you said, and you told me about your mums illness, I would have gone very red and been most contrite!

OP would have had no need to tell you anything you busy-body! If you see the blue badge integration dashboard that's enough, you don't have the right to question a badge holder.

I think there are times when the rules can be bent and allowances made.

OP didn't bend the rules because her mum holds a blue badge and is allowed to park in P&C bays because blue badges trump parents with children.

According to the saying, 'ignorance is bliss' and it would seem that there are an awful lot of blissful people on this thread, not to mention unthinking, uncaring, with little if any empathy or imagination and a huge sense of entitlement. It's really shocking.

I'm guessing the woman who shouted at you hadn't seen a disabled badge. I'm surprised all the disabled spaces were taken and there were plenty of parent and child. I have never experienced this, ever.

Op I think your mum is ok parking there and anyone who is in her position should be able to park nearestt conveniece for them. I’ve been in your position with my Dad and I wouldn’t have responded well to anybody shouting at my elderly terminally ill parent either. I also wouldn’t have given a shit about parking regulations. Anybody going around shouting at elderly people In the street wand to have a word with themselves.

Sorry! Wants to have a word with themselves -

It really gets my goat when people without kids use up the parent and child bays. There never seem to be enough spaces to me. So I would probably be that interfering busy body who said something

If you did that to me, you'd cause me to have an extreme panic attack, probably end up in A&E with a flare up of my chronic illness and if my DH was with me, a mouthful and my blue badge being shown to you, in a public place so everyone could see what a horrible fucking human you are.

Why can't you stay out of other people's business? Concentrate on your own life and perhaps work on not being so much of a twat.

Once there was a link here on mumsnet to a website which explained that blue bagde holders are not allowed to park on p+c spaces. In fact it said that you can park there as long as your youngest is up to 11y.o.

I'm pretty sure this is incorrect. Blue badges do not give the same rights in private car parks as they do on council owned public areas. All parking is at the discretion of the landowner. For example they are allowed to charge BB holders for parking, even though on council land it would be free. Companies are, however, required by law to provide access and reasonable adjustments for disabled people. So this is why they have disabled spaces and a blue badge will be commonly accepted as proof of disability. If they have not provided sufficient disabled spaces they are still required to accommodate a disabled person, whereas they have no legal obligation to accomodate a parent with children. So the company will be bound to allow a disabled person who can't find a disabled space to take the nearest suitable space they can find, which may well be a parent and child space. Similarly the company can set it's own rules about parent and child parking, just as different restaurants set limits on the age of children allowed their children's menu.

“Once there was a link here on mumsnet to a website which explained that blue bagde holders are not allowed to park on p+c spaces. In fact it said that you can park there as long as your youngest is up to 11y.o.”

You may have misremembered the bit about Blue Badge holders.
www.saga.co.uk/magazine/motoring/cars/using/can-a-blue-badge-holder-park-in-a-parent-and-child-space This article reveals no such rule and quotes Sainsburys saying B.B. holders can use P&C spaces when B.B. spaces are full.

Blue Badge spaces are legally protected and aren't and baby spaces mean nothing.

It's my understanding that blue badge holders can park anywhere but red lines. As for the woman, you dealt with that better than I would have. I'd have told her where to go far less politely.

OP one event which sticks in my mind is a woman bawling and shouting abuse at my Mum for using the disabled toilet (happened more than once hmm) to change her bags (I can’t remember the names, but she referred to them as stomas). She absolutely devastated my very private, very quiet and timid Mum and I could quite happily have shredded the poisonous woman on the spot
How awful! Your poor mum.My mum has a stoma too,which has knocked her confidence terribly and which makes her anxious about going out for more than a couple of hours at a time, so I can understand how distraught that jumped-up witch of a woman would have made your poor mum feel.I've actually changed my mind after reading this & a couple of other posts,and I'm not going to feel bad for acting like a fishwife in Morrison's car park.I'm gonna own it,and I will act in the exact same way if someone else decides to use my mother as an easy target for no other reason than to to puff up their fragile sense of importance.Maybe if we all did the same these people would think twice before opening their big traps and making suffering people feel worse than they already to.For your mum x

I really wish that once, just once in my whole life I could really stick up for myself like the OP and have a right go back at some horrible shouting person. I have spent a lifetime cringing and apologising for things that are clearly the fault of the person shouting at me.

This is not a useful post, but the OP's post just makes me admire people who are feisty enough to defend themselves.

This makes me so sad.Ask yourself why you don't think your'e worthy enough to be treated in a respectful manner,because you are you know babswindsor We all are, but unfortunately it's those of us who's self esteem is low who people will pick on because they know they will get away with it with you.Basically they are cowards and bullies,and you are worth a hundred of them and all you need to do is realise that xx

I’m a mother of a small child and a user of parent and child spaces. They are a convenient luxury IMO.

I have before intervened when psychotic women have gone batshit at disabled users using P&C spaces where there are no disabled spaces left.

Your mum is right to park in them. It’s sad she has to contend with morons in the process, but common sense is a flower which doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.

I find the whole parent/child parking bay thing so ridiculous. Some parents seem to think that they just can't manage without one and it's impossible to go shopping. Yes, it's easier, but if you can't sort yourself out without one then you're doing something wrong. I never found parking and getting out with a baby/toddler/double buggy and all the shit I carried around a particularly easy job, but it's hardly so difficult that it would stop you going to the shops. So much nonsense and foot stomping surrounding these spaces.

And OP, I'm not a 'shouter' at all, but if someone had been shouting at my mum like that I'd probably have done the same as you. Most of the 'I would have calmly ..... ' etc are probably talking bullshit.

I'm guessing the woman who shouted at you hadn't seen a disabled badge. I'm surprised all the disabled spaces were taken and there were plenty of parent and child. I have never experienced this, ever.

You're right,it's our fault for not waving it under her big fat interfering nose I'm sure.And you're at least the second person who's 'voiced' fake surprise at the lack of disabled parking spaces.Why not just come straight out and call me a liar,because it's obvious that that is what you are implying.

Blue badge rules only apply on council ground, a private car park like Morrison's Asda etc have there own rules when it comes to using your blue badge so best to read the boards around.

"So I would probably be that interfering busy body who said something"

No one should be expected to answer to some random with delusions of power.

Its strange that it is only ever people who don’t need to use the spaces who report how many blue badge spaces there always are free! Those who need them know the reality is very different!

As it’s on private land it would be at the discretion of the landowner as to whether a blue badge holder can park in a P&C space. Having said that, only an arsehole would complain.

I think actually legally they would be on dodgy grounds because it quite clearly would fall under reasonable adjustment if they tried to impose any sort of penalty charge.

"As it’s on private land it would be at the discretion of the landowner as to whether a blue badge holder can park in a P&C space."

The landowner is obliged to make reasonable adjustments. I cannot see any court ruling that it would not be a reasonable adjustment.

I’m sure that would be the case. But it’s not technically true that blue badge holders can park where they like.

Sirzy
Actually we have to use the disabled bat a lot as my mother in law is in a wheelchair and only has 1 arm and no legs, we have never struggled to get a disabled space. I am also a mother and a childminder and very rarely get a parent and child space. Yes disabled people are entitled to park wherever they want but I think claiming that there are loads of P&C and no disabled spaces is a bit far fetched.