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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think she was a self a self righteous interfering busybody?

257 replies

NutElla5x · 08/09/2018 09:19

Probably get flamed by all the 'rules is rules' people here but here goes.So me and my mum are in Morrison's underground car park yesterday looking for a parking space.My mum,who has a blue badge, due to the fact she has terminal cancer, is driving.She drives past the disabled parking bay(space for less than a dozen cars) which is full,so stops directly at the end of this bay which happens to be a parent and child bay and says 'I'll stop here'.This bay used to be a disabled bay and has has room for about a dozen cars and has only one car in it-a people carrier with a man in the driving seat and a kid/kids in the back.I tell my mum she can't really as it's for parents with kids now and she's like 'Well I've always parked here' LOL and I'm like 'Well you can't now,but if you want to risk a fine it's up to you'.Anyhoo as we're merrily bickering away-engine not even switched off- yet a woman approaches the car that the bloke and kids are in and shouts at my mum 'It's for people with kids!' then shouts the same again before we've even had the chance to respond.Well excuse me but no-one shouts at my mum like that,so I lost it a bit and a full on argument ensued,where I pointed out to her that there were so many mother and child spaces free(just behind us,in the lane next to the full disabled bay there was another double bay for them with lots of spaces free too),and that my mum was disabled and her parking there wouldn't affect anyone and if she wanted to risk a fine what the hell did it have to do with her! I did call her a couple of names-an interfering cow (which she is)being one of them,and it wasn't my finest moment but I don't understand why she would start shouting at an elderly person in such an aggressive manner for,in my mind,such a trivial thing.AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
NutElla5x · 10/09/2018 14:33

Ever considered anger management Timeisslippingaway?

OP posts:
Timeisslippingaway · 10/09/2018 14:41

@NutElla5x

😂😂 you are one to talk. I have a lot more reason to be angry at you. It is funny to read your posts though its giving me a good laugh that you can't see how ridiculous you are.

Original poster
NutElla5x · 10/09/2018 14:42

Two major differences there though Thinkingallowed. 1.You needed the space,this woman did not and 2.You asked politely,this woman didn't.

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 10/09/2018 14:45

I am sorry to hear about your mum OP and I would have probably reacted the same way as you did under the circumstances Thanks

I got fined for parking in a parent space. It was late at night, I was the only one in the car park and it literally took me 4 minutes to go to the ATM. I haven't paid the fine. People get charged a lot now for misusing these spaces and it is legally enforceable. People have been taken to court over not paying the fine. Of course I realise that this does not apply to blue badge holders.

Original poster
NutElla5x · 10/09/2018 14:47

I though you were stepping away from this thread about a dozen posts ago Time? Hmm I'm glad I've pulled you up out of the doldrums though Smile

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 10/09/2018 14:49

BTW I thought it was acceptable to park there as it was gone 10.30pm and the car park was empty so if anyone did turn up and need a space there were enough left for others to use.

YolandaTheYeti · 10/09/2018 14:52

Op, you are behaving like a complete fool. I hope YOU sort your anger issues. time has been remarkably calm considering your weirdly dogged posts trying to shame her.

time, tbh, I’d hide this and run away from the very angry op. This is not a you problem.

Original poster
NutElla5x · 10/09/2018 14:53

Ridiculous that you got a fine with it being late at night and all U2HasTheEdge.They should be free for everyone's use after say 8pm.Are you contesting it?
Thank you for the flowers Smile

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 10/09/2018 14:57

I meant to consent it but I didn't do it in time. They seem to have forgotten about me now... touch wood.

Timeisslippingaway · 10/09/2018 14:58

@NutElla5x

At what point did I say I was stepping away?

I'm glad I've pulled you up out of the doldrums though

What makes you think this. It's a strange thing to day really, have you run out of decent insults?

Timeisslippingaway · 10/09/2018 14:58

*say

Timeisslippingaway · 10/09/2018 15:02

@YolandaTheYeti

Thanks for the support, I just can't seem to do it though. People shouldn't get away with behaviour like the OP.
Like a pp said sweet as syrup to anyone who agrees but a vicious viper to anyone that doesn't. It's that attitude that makes me disbelieve your account OP.

Original poster
NutElla5x · 10/09/2018 15:04

I meant to consent it but I didn't do it in time. They seem to have forgotten about me now... touch wood.
Hopefully so!

OP posts:
Original poster
NutElla5x · 10/09/2018 15:06

I don't really care what you believe Time.I'm so bored of you now.Please don't address me again.

OP posts:
Timeisslippingaway · 10/09/2018 15:10

@NutElla5x

You sound very childish. Are you quite young?
Why shouldn't I? You can address me in any manner you like but I shouldn't confront you on your aggressive attitude to me and what seems like a lot of things in your life.

MiddleAgedMe · 10/09/2018 15:22

@sauvignonblanche I didn't say anyone had to justify themselves to me or explain anything to me, which you'd know if you had read my words correctly.

MiddleAgedMe · 10/09/2018 16:04

@professormoody, I'm sorry about your chronic illness. I wouldn't have shouted, if I hadn't seen your blue badge I may well have asked you why you were in a parent and child bay, but not by abusing you. I have a child with additional needs and need the designated bays at times. As a few other posters have mentioned there never seem to be quite enough of them, so when people without children park in them it can be annoying. Not everyone sees the blue badge immediately.

It's quite difficult to understand the anger in your comment. I stated that on realising the situation I would have been red faced and contrite (apologetic), I also sent the op my well wishes for her lovely sounding mum. Perhaps your anger is with your condition?

ProfessorMoody · 10/09/2018 16:18

Perhaps your anger is with your condition

How fucking patronising.

No, my anger is not with my condition, it's with people like you who accost the disabled when they have to use a P&C space. Whether you see my blue badge or not, you are NOT the parking police and you have NO RIGHT to ask anyone why they have parked there.

Just you coming up to me and asking would be enough to set off a PTSD panic attack. Can you not understand that? It is NOT up to you where anyone parks there car unless you are a traffic warden or a police officer and someone has parked illegally.

You're lucky that you haven't accosted the wrong type of person, as a lot of people would take great offence at a busybody interfering in their business. I've explained why you doing something like this could cause harm, yet you still stand by the fact that you'd do it again if you couldn't immediately see a blue badge. That's why I'm angry.

ProfessorMoody · 10/09/2018 16:19

Their*

YeTalkShiteHen · 10/09/2018 16:25

It’s expectation that people with a disability/ASN have to explain themselves to anyone who takes issue with something which frankly doesn’t concern them that is the issue.

You may see it as a one off, but for the person being challenged I can virtually guarantee it is not. It becomes wearing after a while, having to disclose personal information to strangers before they’ll offer their approval.

You simply don’t have the right to expect people to do that so you can say their actions are ok. It’s dehumanising, and really bloody wearing.

Fair enough my experiences of it aren’t about blue badges because I don’t have one. But I have, on more occasions than I’d care to mention, had to explain that I’m autistic or that my children are, and it feels really crap. Especially once they’ve had their explanation and get all “oh well that’s ok then, since.....” eh, wasn’t asking for approval!

MiddleAgedMe · 10/09/2018 16:27

@Timeisslippingaway, maybe the op is just using you as a means to vent some anger? Because non of her reactions really match your comments. It's all got way out of hand due to her over reactions and downright rudeness and aggression. There is no excuse for her unpleasantness. And along the way some other unhappy angry people have had their chance to vent too! Sorry you've been railroaded in this way xx

MiddleAgedMe · 10/09/2018 16:33

Some strange behaviour on this thread indeed!

MiddleAgedMe · 10/09/2018 16:43

@YeTalkShiteHen, diito! I also have an autistic child. I need those spaces too.

@professormoody, I have to justify a lot of my child's behaviour, and a lot of mine as his parent. Why is is ok for your need to be beyond question and not mine?

YeTalkShiteHen · 10/09/2018 16:44

Middle nobody should expect you to explain/justify/disclose. Equally you shouldn’t expect anyone else to.

It’s actually really sad the way this thread has gone, it could have been a good discussion.

Timeisslippingaway · 10/09/2018 17:03

@MiddleAgedMe

Thanks, I'm not sure why the OP took such offence at my post because there have been at least 2 other people that said the same as I did and either got no comment or a nice one back, very odd behaviour.

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