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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to book in to a hotel on my own...

200 replies

HaveSomeGrace · 07/09/2018 19:27

and leave my husband and kids at home alone? I’m desperate for time on my own. If I don’t get it I think I might crack. It would be a massive inconvenience for my husband and my kids wouldn’t want me to go. I want to be selfish just once but no one irl would understand. I mean for weekend though, not like week or anything extravagant.

🙁

OP posts:
JennyHolzersGhost · 07/09/2018 20:09

Oh please, do inconvenience him. He sounds like someone who needs inconveniencing. Flowers for you OP.

MyHairNeedsASnip · 07/09/2018 20:09

Yes! Definitely do it. I used to do this, just once a year and only 10 miles away or so. It was heaven. Big bar of chocolate, massive bag of crisps and films and uninterrupted sleep. Amazing.

Namethecat · 07/09/2018 20:10

I seriously think every woman should have a short break away by herself at least once every few months

DinoGreen · 07/09/2018 20:10

I'm already looking forward to the two solo nights in a hotel I'll be getting in November when I go on a work conference! Utter bliss it will be!

Gemini69 · 07/09/2018 20:11

I have my fingers crossed that you find something and book it OP Flowers

cheeseoverchocolate · 07/09/2018 20:11

Well if he has the luxury of having a social life (i.e. time to do what he wants) then you should equally have time to spend as you see fit away from your family. Do it and make sure it's not a one off!

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/09/2018 20:12

I feel a bit sad OP. Something needs to change and maybe a couple of nights away could be the start.

I travel for work and I have to say that my family appreciate me a LOT more after I go. They see all I do and how much harder and less fun their lives are without me around.

MonkeysMummy17 · 07/09/2018 20:12

Definitely do it op. Don't tell him which hotel either, you don't need him turning up kids in tow for "family" time.

Original poster
HaveSomeGrace · 07/09/2018 20:12

@Teaandcrisps

There is but this is not the right place 🤐

OP posts:
Orchiddingme · 07/09/2018 20:12

I think teaandcrisps is right though. You could definitely do this, but it sounds like more than just the exhaustion of parenting and working, it's your husband ignoring you and putting his own needs to socialise first that is driving you to 'do something'. I'd have a weekend away, and start working out how you communicate what you need to say to him.

I go away with work once or twice a year and love staying in a hotel, I always avoid the social dinners so I can chill out by myself and watch TV/luxuriate in the big bed/read books/go to little cafes. It's so much fun and makes you feel like a proper person!

Ballsofmush · 07/09/2018 20:13

You should do it but this alone won't solve your problem.

Leeds2 · 07/09/2018 20:16

Get it booked!

And, whilst you're away, work out what you need to say to DH when you get back.

restingbemusedface · 07/09/2018 20:19

Do it. Just do it. You need a life outside of the home and you need some rest.

I love next door to a hotel and I was tempted a few times when my kids were babies to just leave them with DH and check in. I would have had I ever really felt I needed to.

Boredwithlife0 · 07/09/2018 20:19

You’ve been putting everyone else first for soooo long. This is your turn. Do it!

I did this in May, got a gorgeous cottage in the middle of nowhere via Airbnb for 3 nights. Owners lived next door so I had that safety net and I went walking, sat in a wood full of wild garlic listening to the village cricket match somewhere in the vague distance. It was heaven and I take myself back there mentally whenever I’m stressed. More relaxing and therapeutic than a soleless hotel and still only £60 per night.

Admittedly I watched Eurovision with wine, tapas etc and kept texting DH/DD with marks out of ten! Importantly it was my choice and I could have easily gone off grid for three days. Luckily DH was fine about it, survived, and happy for me to go again. With a history of PND and a stressful job, he’s been very understanding that I need head space every now and then.

poppym12 · 07/09/2018 20:21

Do it. It's so worth it.

Original poster
HaveSomeGrace · 07/09/2018 20:22

I’m looking for something now 🔍

OP posts:
Teaandcrisps · 07/09/2018 20:23

Sorry to hear there is more going on @HaveSomeGrace - and hope you have IRL support.
In the meantime, follow your instinct and be unflinching in your kindness to yourself. 💐

arranfan · 07/09/2018 20:24

This wouldn't necessarily be child free but a shout-out to

Horton Women's Holiday Centre - Providing affordable holidays for women and children since 1980.

The Women’s Holiday Centre is for all women, with or without children, on their own, or with friends. Women from all walks of life are welcome and visit regularly. The house offers a safe and friendly environment, where women and children can feel at home and get to know each other. Items such as towels, toiletries, and both adult and children’s spare coats/hats/gloves/wellies etc. are kept at the house so that those using public transport have less to carry.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 07/09/2018 20:24

My friend does this at least once a year. She asks for it as an Xmas present from her husband. He doesn't mind as he goes away a few times a year on football trips.

bingbongnoise · 07/09/2018 20:26

I think the OP is looking for something more for peace and tranquility @arranfan and not a place full of kids, and where she would have to share a room with other women.

Original poster
HaveSomeGrace · 07/09/2018 20:27

@arranfan

That sounds very nice but it’s Yorkshire which is a bit too far away.

OP posts:
shakeyourcaboose · 07/09/2018 20:27

@heismyopendoor what's that hotel in West End near the Botanics? We could book in there then go for a few on Ashton Lane? And maybe end up in the Garage? (If its still there, although can imagine I'd find it horrendous these days!)

Original poster
HaveSomeGrace · 07/09/2018 20:28

@bingbongnoise

👍🏻

OP posts:
bingbongnoise · 07/09/2018 20:28
Smile
GunpowderGelatine · 07/09/2018 20:28

She's putting her own interests ahead of her family's

What could old children and a grown man possibly need her for 24/7? Confused I hope you think the same of the useless husband with the social life