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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to book in to a hotel on my own...

200 replies

HaveSomeGrace · 07/09/2018 19:27

and leave my husband and kids at home alone? I’m desperate for time on my own. If I don’t get it I think I might crack. It would be a massive inconvenience for my husband and my kids wouldn’t want me to go. I want to be selfish just once but no one irl would understand. I mean for weekend though, not like week or anything extravagant.

🙁

OP posts:
OldSchoolDa · 07/09/2018 19:58

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BitchQueen90 · 07/09/2018 19:59

@OldSchoolDa your username sounds very apt from your comments.

Do it OP.

Original poster
HaveSomeGrace · 07/09/2018 19:59

@Wishiwasonholiday1

I’m going to have a look now and see what’s around.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 07/09/2018 19:59

Maybe they haven’t got a babysitter? Maybe she needs some time on her own? Perfectly allowed.

bigfishlittlefishtupperwarebox · 07/09/2018 20:00

Because she needs a break from everyone!! Sometimes you just need peace and quiet and to not have to speak to anyone at all, including the people you love. Do it OP, I'm very tempted myself with a 2yo and a workaholic husband!

FaFoutis · 07/09/2018 20:00

YANBU. I do this a lot. Premier Inn is nicer than Travelodge and usually has better soundproofing. I stock up on wine & treats at M&S on the way to the hotel.
Looking after your own mental health is not selfish at all.

BewareOfDragons · 07/09/2018 20:00

No babies, aged 4-12 though. Husband would be inconvenienced as it would impede on his own social life. I don’t have that luxury.

So he gets a social life while you manage the children?

Fuck that.

You're supposed to be a team. You both chose to have children. He should be doing his share, and you should be getting a social life, too.

I'd book the hotel and also tell him you're going to have a long think about the state of your marriage and the lack of equity in the relationship when it comes to home/social lives.

QuestionableMouse · 07/09/2018 20:00

I have. Going to the seaside for a weekend alone. It gets too much sometimes.

serendipitintea · 07/09/2018 20:01

I stayed in hotels a few times alone recently (not for the same reasons) and it was bliss. I laid in bed with fruit cider and a takeaway pizza watching YouTube after my shower. I didn't have kids or anything to get away from but it still felt like a treat and was lovely. Defo do it OP!

Somersetlady · 07/09/2018 20:01

Go!

Ive done it you will love it. Hot bath lovely meal cooked by someone else and handed to me whilst reading a newspaper uninterrupted followed by an early night and a lie in.

Bliss.

Original poster
HaveSomeGrace · 07/09/2018 20:01

@OldSchoolDa

I don’t want him to. He’s spent many a weekend out of the house from me (granted not overnight) but still, away from home. He’s not here now, out socialising again. Won’t be back till probably 3am.

OP posts:
Swissgemma · 07/09/2018 20:02

Just do it. I am a part time student with a 3yr old. Dissertation due. I just went away in my own for 12 days to break the back of it. Dh Held the fort. decent sleeps. Moving at my own pace. Looking after me. Bliss!

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/09/2018 20:03

Does your DH just not think you need a social life, or does he know and not care?

OldSchoolDa · 07/09/2018 20:04

Fair enough, if he's out till that hour of the morning.

RedPandaMama · 07/09/2018 20:04

I did this, booked a hotel in Manchester for after my staff do a few months ago. Didn't really need to, could have got the last train home, but I hadn't had a single lie in or night to myself since DD was born almost a year ago and desperately needed it. I had an absolutely fab time, got tipsy at the do, left at 11 then came back to my hotel, ate a takeaway in bed watching Gilmore Girls then had a fab night's sleep.

I think it's healthy to have time away from kids and partner tbh. Really re energised me!

Showpony2 · 07/09/2018 20:04

Does he do this most weekends, stay out all night, whilst you are at home with the children?

Cantchooseaname · 07/09/2018 20:05

Get it booked.
Don’t ask, tell him.
Far better he copes for a weekend than you crack and loose it totally and he’ll have to cope with far more much longer.
Seriously, premier inn. More than 20 mins so he can’t easily pop in. I think an hour sounds reasonable. Stock up on favourite stuff, shut the door on the world.

Wishiwasonholiday1 · 07/09/2018 20:05

Look around for tomorrow night, let him know, in the morning, that you'll be out Saturday night and you'll be back late Sunday evening.
You really sound like you need it and if he's been out all night there is no reason why he can't hold the fort while you have some time.

MrsICantSayMyName · 07/09/2018 20:06

I totally understand how u feel ! Why can't we be selfish for once an our husbands put in work with the kids j

Original poster
HaveSomeGrace · 07/09/2018 20:06

@MrsTerryPratchett

I don’t think he’s really bothered. He doesn’t know what I’m dealing with at the minute because he’s not interested. Although he’ll tell the world till he’s blue in the face that he loves me (and my mother says she can see he clearly does).

OP posts:
GenericHamster · 07/09/2018 20:07

Sounds like it's your turn, OP.

Just realised there's a Premier Inn in my town. Ohhh a night and morning on my own would be well worth £29!

Original poster
HaveSomeGrace · 07/09/2018 20:08

@Showpony2

Yes pretty much. Sometimes socialises at home till the early hours too whilst I hide upstairs.

OP posts:
Meowstro · 07/09/2018 20:08

I often think this would be nice, even before my DD I thought it sounded like heaven.

Book it and tell him about it the morning you are going so there's no fuss and you're out the door. Stuff his social life.

Teaandcrisps · 07/09/2018 20:08

Sounds like you need some headspace. So go for it and book it today.

Maybe it's also time to figure out how you don't get to this point again - what's going on for you OP? Are you carrying too much of the load? Putting yourself second? Not having enough down/me time? Supported?

I get the feeling there is more to this?

Original poster
HaveSomeGrace · 07/09/2018 20:09

@Wishiwasonholiday1

I’d love to do it tomorrow but I can’t because I have to work Sunday! Bummer!

OP posts: