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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not bother with tomorrow's job interview because I can't even cope not working

208 replies

sanssherif · 06/09/2018 22:04

Brief history
Well qualified good job
Divorce, during unplanned preg. Now left alone no friends no support.
Disabled dd age 12.
Have had 2 years off work, dd2 is 3.
Applied for competitive but lower level role, was excited by the role and thrilled at the interview!
Its been a shit week back to school, my exH has given me the silent treatment, dd1 isnt coping and still awake (autism) and dd2 has just been sick everywhere.
I've been recently drinking more and am getting depressed at the no interaction/general skivvy mum role.
Really cannot be bothered to go, doesnt seem much point. Just want to crawl into a hole.
AIBU?

OP posts:
WhatsGoingOnEh · 08/09/2018 23:26

HAVE not gave

Argh

sanssherif · 09/09/2018 07:36

Well i woke clear headed.
Much difference.
Alcohol messes with my meds so its a good move.
Thank you.

OP posts:
ArsenalsPlayingAtHome · 09/09/2018 08:08

Sanssherif I'm late to the party, but couldn't stop reading.

You & all the kind posters on here are inspirational.

I have never bothered to read a thread even half as long as this and posted before - I normally thing meh, it's all already been said.

I wish you well - it's amazing that you pulled yourself together & got to that interview. Personally, I couldn't have got over that hurdle, but you did, which was courageous given the sickness, not knowing where the passport was, lack of sleep, feeling so low.

FWIW, I don't think you were meant to get that job. I do think you were meant to go to the interview as a way of you finding out about the voluntary work, and that you are meant to do the voluntary work.

You sound like an amazing person. Re the drinking - well done on getting the Pepsi. I love a G&T, and even though I'm not a big drinker, I fell into a habit about 4 years ago, of having a G&T whilst cooking. Before I knew where I was, there was a worrying amount of gin missing from the bottle. I stopped, but still get the occasional craving, and relate to what you've said.

Using a glass that I'd put my G&T in, but drinking Low Cal Tonic Water with a slice of lemon does the job for me. I also get a weird kick out of the fact that it doesn't even matter that it hasn't got a gin in it . It's as if I'm kidding the gin rather than kidding myself, if that makes any sense. So keep up the good work.

Your problems are real, so no guilt needed there - but you're putting steps in place to overcome them, and you'll get there. Good luck with the vluntary work - do you know when you start?

sanssherif · 09/09/2018 08:13

No. I have a special event to partake in in 2 weeks-this will look v good on cv. I feel doing it well will be beneficiql. Then late october for rest i think. Hqve looked online for related study. A course starts in jan so i am applying for that later, also trying to contact someone who professionally does the job i applied for, but a million times higher in status, for advice.
I cant say what but its a direction.

OP posts:
sanssherif · 09/09/2018 08:16

Thanks all for the supporr.
Still v disappointed.
But my mum used to say whats meant to be will happen and what isnt isnt important.
The rejection has confirmed thats the job i want. Before, i was a bit meh on how id manage. Now im going to build up childcare possibilities etc so im ready when it does happen, if it does.
I think they may have thought i was over qualified or using it as a stepping stone. Vol. Work proves commitment to the role.

OP posts:
sanssherif · 09/09/2018 08:17

Going to keep this as a motivation thread if thats ok and log the 'journey' however long it takes Confused

OP posts:
ArsenalsPlayingAtHome · 09/09/2018 08:34

Ooh yes, keep us posted.

Well done - what a turn around from when you first posted!

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 09/09/2018 08:37

Good idea - I was in a similar rabbit hole last spring when I was jobseeking - the combination of highly niche skills but pretty inter-discipline but coupled with the fact they are expensive skills and I have AS.

Here's hoping I can keep this one! Good luck OP. Ultimately, you want to work for people who aren't wierded out or indeed threatened by your skills and wit.

sanssherif · 09/09/2018 09:42

Thank you. Smile

OP posts:
WhatsGoingOnEh · 09/09/2018 10:49

FWIW, I don't think you were meant to get that job. I do think you were meant to go to the interview as a way of you finding out about the voluntary work, and that you are meant to do the voluntary work.

100% agree!

WhatsGoingOnEh · 09/09/2018 10:56

Going to keep this as a motivation thread if thats ok and log the 'journey' however long it takes *

Yay! I'm really pleased. It'll be lovely to follow your story and cheer you on! Later in life you'll make this into your best-selling autobiography: "FROM PUKE TO POWER: How one determined single mother went from cleaning up vomit to cleaning up in the world of business."

I hope you realise that all your ideas and plans are really, genuinely sensible, well-thought-out, and practical. You've clearly got your head in the right place. I can see only good things ahead for you, honestly.

sanssherif · 09/09/2018 11:07

Thank you x

OP posts:
TheFaerieQueene · 09/09/2018 11:07

Ive just read the thread and would like to add my support and admiration for what you have done. Your new job won’t be long in coming!

sanssherif · 09/09/2018 21:19

Hope not!
Thanks all you've got me through a rubbish weekend. I did email the interviewer to thank her for the experience and for any further feedback. I will hopefully hear from her soon.
Tomorrow Monday. Am meeting with a friend.

OP posts:
Labradoodliedoodoo · 09/09/2018 21:27

Well done op. Big step forward

EvaHarknessRose · 09/09/2018 22:27

Have a good week Sans

Mitzeeee · 09/09/2018 22:47

You should be extremely proud of yourself! Here’s to the future! We all have to hit a bottom to start heading up, and this is the time for you! Good luck with everything x

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 10/09/2018 08:03

Good morning. I am really impressed how you are picking yourself up and using this experience as a catalyst to move your life forwards.

user564534 · 10/09/2018 16:24

I'm in a similar place to you, off work for 18 months following redundancy with elderly parents, a severely disabled DD and another DD with autism/anxiety/OCD. I've managed to get a new job which may be a disaster if issues arise at home, but I really need to get out of the house to regain self-esteem. It's taken several interviews to get here, each time I was feeling more confident and learning.

Keep looking and something will come up. I do understand though how difficult SN childcare is. During the holidays I will be working for £0, as it's so expensive.

sanssherif · 10/09/2018 16:29

Well done user, thats amazing.
Understand about the holidays but keeps you sane.
You did really well after the cv gap. Did you do anything during that time to help with the job searching?

OP posts:
user564534 · 10/09/2018 16:37

I have been doing a few small bits of self-employed work during the time, but nothing much. Luckily this didn't seem very important at any of the interviews. I hadn't had much gap in jobs until18 months ago, so I guess they were happy with that.

sanssherif · 10/09/2018 17:09

Good for you well done x

OP posts:
user564534 · 10/09/2018 17:22

Thanks, good luck to you too x

sanssherif · 16/09/2018 11:20

Ok. Bit of a dramatic update after last week's unsuccess.
I have been offered a last min place on a postgraduate course linked to the job-and it is part funded!
I have firm dates for voluntary stuff on top.
Im terrified of taking the course as it means no benefits, but i can get tax credits and a small bursary. It is doable AND i can still manage school runs, work at home in holidays etc.
I will need to do some night shifts which means immediate favours from toxic family, but they should be done by xmas then it is research and study.
Worried about financial stability and paying our small mortgage. Worried about needing help to care for kids.
Still gutted about job.
WWYD?

OP posts:
Etino · 16/09/2018 11:32

Wow sans that’s big news!
It’s sounds doable. How do you feel about the nightshifts? Not just the getting care from your family but coping with tiredness? Are there practical preparations you start now? Getting black out curtains disabling the doorbell and clearing the following days?
Flowers