To think my mum is selfish or am I asking for to much

[maybebabyx]

Just had dd we can't go home now as she has jaundice. I ended up having a c-section aswell I thought she would only need to have DS for a maximum of two nights but shit happens.

She's being really funny about having him complaining she's tired and can't get anything done but then she doesn't put him down until 10 and we normally put him down at 8. We did a big food shop made our house comfy for her but it's not good enough. OH mentioned food in the freezer "I don't want any of that" he's just had to take her kfc to keep her quiet.

AIBU thinking that if your daughter is in hospital and your not working anymore the least you can do is help out?

I do so much for her and then when I need some help it's got to be on her terms!

It's a shame, I'm sure you could do without worrying about that as well. Is there a reason your OH can't be at home?

Why is your DH not looking after his son?

She agreed to help out when you had the baby but it seems like she's had enough now and wants to go home. Time for your OH to take over.

Your OH should take over now.

Needahairbrush maybe he is supporting his wife and new baby in hospital?

How old is DS, and how old is DM? When you get a bit older, small children can be absolutely exhausting. How about mil? Can she lend a hand?

City he doesn't need to do that all day and night.

She is exhausted. Looking after the DC post birth does fall to your DP really. Do you have a dad or PIL or friends who could take your son for a but during the day so he can visit. No reason for him to be with you 24/7 though.

Any reason why your OH can't do the childcare now?

Oh ffs, now it will be nothing but 'hour OH should be doing it. Of course YANBU to think your mum could help you out.

At least you know not to do so much for her in the future.

YABU, surely your DP can look after your DS most of the time? Maybe once she's had a break she'll be able to carry on helping you?

Be OTT with the praise - this approach actually really works with self-absorbed people! Good luck!

Ouch. I’m coming from the POV of having no help from GP but sometimes that’s easier than being let down.

That said, maybe she had just reached her limit. Is she close enough to still help out but for shorter bursts of time?

How long has she had your son for?

How old is ds and dm?

City, paternity leave as the baby is here? Usually visiting hours are generally restricted to a couple of times a day?
It sounds like your mum has had enough, and is finding it too hard.

YANBU!

Family is about helping and supporting each other and if you can't rely on your own Mum to help out in a time of great need then who the hell can you rely on?!

How old is your son and how long has ahe had him for?

How old is she?

How old is your son?

How long has she had him for?

He's here with me at the hospital I've got baby next to me but struggling to be honest with getting up and of the bed to feed her.

My mum is 60 and ds is 1 turns 2 in December and she's had him since Tuesday morning.

I don’t think anyone is saying op was unreasonable to ask her mum to help in the first place, just that having a toddler / young child full time for a few days non stop when you are older and don’t normally is a lot for someone to cope with - and in most situations the OH would visit the mum in hospital during visiting hours with the sibling and care for them at home. That’s what most families do. But then I am coming from a point of view of having no family help whatsoever.

Congratulations on your baby girl. Give your mum a break, she's done her bit. Your DH can take over with childcare now. If she's struggling, acknowledge it. It's hard looking after someone else's child.

Could your DM and Oh swap places for a day or 2?

Why is your husband not home on a night? How old is DS?

Sounds like you're expecting your mum to be at your beck and call instead of just helping out. She's probably missing her own home, could she not look after ds in the day then go home mid afternoon?

It's hard but try and compromise a bit?

Your husband needs to go home. Dads never used to be able to stay anyway, nurses are there to help if you are struggling.