To think my mum is selfish or am I asking for to much

[maybebabyx]

Just had dd we can't go home now as she has jaundice. I ended up having a c-section aswell I thought she would only need to have DS for a maximum of two nights but shit happens.

She's being really funny about having him complaining she's tired and can't get anything done but then she doesn't put him down until 10 and we normally put him down at 8. We did a big food shop made our house comfy for her but it's not good enough. OH mentioned food in the freezer "I don't want any of that" he's just had to take her kfc to keep her quiet.

AIBU thinking that if your daughter is in hospital and your not working anymore the least you can do is help out?

I do so much for her and then when I need some help it's got to be on her terms!

I'm sure the local hospital does encourage it, as it means less work and bells to answer for the staff if the OH's are there.

They're clearly not prioritising the DCs at home, or the grandparents who are looking after them.

The hospitals aren't but the parents of the new baby should!

I think people just expect grandparents to do stuff nowadays

Like love and bond with their children’s children 😂 I am nearly 40. Having attentive grandparents is not new, I assure you!

The placenta is often sent off for testing, I did all three of mine for stem cells.

I agree, Grandparents are expected to do stuff and if they happen to have a life they’re selfish. Grandparents have done the

When I grew up both sets of grandparents lived far away and my mum and dad looked after us. They joined a babysitting circle so they could go out but that wasn’t often.

Grandparents have done their share of child rearing.

DH's sister stayed with their grandmother for a week after he was born. MIL was home with baby DH, FIL was working all hours.

My grandparents lived 400 miles away but used to come and look after DB and me for the school summer holidays. We lived closer to them when I was a baby and they looked after my brother when my mum was in for 2 weeks after having me. My dad was around btw they just wanted to help.

I hope you are recovering better today. I think you've had some really harsh responses - when big things happen (babies/operations/bereavements etc) I am very lucky I can rely on my parents/in laws and our siblings to all rally round and help (as we do for them). We have all dropped things to help each other and my in laws were fabulous when I had an extended stay in hospital after my second was born (husband did go home to see daughter every day and put her to bed) but they stayed as long as it was helpful. I hope to be that sort of mother when my children are grown and I don't think it's unreasonable to hope for it. You sound like you're having a rough time - your baby is beautiful and I'm sure she is helping you!

I don't think you're being entitled or selfish or whatever else has been said. Just someone who needs their mum's support, there is nothing wrong with that.

My mum passed away but would help out in this scenario no problem. Yes, it may be tough but she'd more likely say, can DH come put child to bed and help half the day rather than fully refuse.

I personally don't understand some of the comments on here, I help my elderly father and disabled brother because they're family. It's the same thing in my eyes. But maybe it's different for others.

Anyway, sorry you're having a crap time. Hang on in there and don't worry I was the same and in a lot of pain and kept in. We are all different.

Sorry you're having such a hard time OP.
If my DD needed me, I'd be there with bells on. For as long as I was needed.
I'm glad you are getting other help now.
I hope you get to leave and go home soon.

We are home now didn't leave until 8 last night. I can't believe how badly understaffed the NHS is we was waiting to leave from 1. You do really need your own support there as there is 3 midwifes to a 43 bed ward.

Still very very sore but glad to be home with my family x

Glad you've been allowed back home but take it easy OP it sounds like you've had a really hard time.

Did they find out why you were in so much pain?I hope the painkillers they have you on are working now.

I’m In the same boat maybebaby it’s my second day home and it’s so much easier recovering at home , I cried a bit last night at how traumatised I felt getting left to it in the maternity ward , I’m shocked at how little compassion there was to me post surgery with a new baby and feel a bit dehumanised to be honest .
So much easier to have my husband here and not rely on understaffed midwives . I’m a nurse and I understand low staffing but to be honest there was an air of ‘ get on with it’ and ‘ seen it all before’ about the staff .

@ichifanny I cried all the way home I felt the exact same I was traumatised.
If I ever have another baby il make sure I go private.
At least we are home now

Put your feet up maybebaby and be rest assured you have been in no way entitled or selfish and your Mum really could have been more helpful , all you should be doing is feeding baby and relaxing as much as possible now you are home and eating nice snacks and getting sleep when you can . I hope you have a nice caring husband there for you .

I looked after my 3-year-old gd when my DS and DIL had their second. I was happy to do it, but after a couple of days, I was absolutely wiped out. I was in my early sixties and pretty fit, but I don't have the small child stamina I used to have. Our agreement was for a couple of days and they kept to that, even though DIL had had a C-section. If they'd been struggling seriously, I would have tried to stay on, but it would have been tough. My DS took some leave and took over gd after he'd been at the hospital to support DIL through the birth and get some rest himself. I said I would be available to do shopping, or take over for a few hours if necessary. It's easy to underestimate how tiring small children are when you are older.