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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what career you want for your child or children?

354 replies

glammother31 · 05/09/2018 08:15

Have you got it all mapped out or are you just going to roll the dice? Will they go to uni or have you not decided?

I'd be really interested to hear different points of view.

OP posts:
ChangerChangerson · 05/09/2018 08:55

Is this a joke? The OP's child is 3!

LinoleumBlownapart · 05/09/2018 08:56

One of mine wanted to be a fire engine at 3.

I have no idea what they want to be and nor do they. But I want them to be happy and successful at whatever they chose. My 15 year old is starting to think about it. I have to agree though, being a gamer or whatever is the dream of many teens but for the 99.9% it's good to suggest and guide a reality check back up plan.

Oliversmumsarmy · 05/09/2018 08:56

We ensured high academic attainment. In the end, they made their choices but we had ensutheynwere well informed choices and that they had plenty of options

I don’t believe any parent who has put all their energy into getting high achieving children would stand by and let them pursue a career which didn’t need a GCSE. I don’t believe they had that much choice.

FWIW dd knew what she wanted to do when she was 7 but that was because she was around people working in the industry and had been in the work place a few times and loved the buzz.
She is 18 and has set up her own company and although quite a difficult industry she is starting to get a few jobs.

50Running50 · 05/09/2018 08:57

Haha where has the op gone?? This is hilarious

Come on op we all want to know what she's going to be!!

polkadotpixie · 05/09/2018 08:57

I hope he chooses to be an electrician or a carpenter or a plumber or similar if he's more practically inclined (like his Dad)

If he's more academically inclined (like me) then I hope he chooses a profession...teaching, engineering etc

Both me and my husband were told uni was the be all and end all. We both went and neither of us uses our degree at all. We've both said if we could go back in time we'd do it all differently (I'd be a social worker or nurse and he'd be an electrician)

Obviously it's up to him but I hope he makes better choices than us

serbska · 05/09/2018 08:58

Something high paid, high barriers to entry, future proofed, relatively low stress and relatively flexible Smile

ilovesooty · 05/09/2018 08:58

Perhaps she's going to be a unicorn. The OP sounds as though she'd buy into that.

Believeitornot · 05/09/2018 08:58

My friends son wants to be a gamer on YouTube ffs. Sometimes you have to steer them in the right direction no?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That’s exactly what my son wants to be. He’s 8. And loves video games.

A few months ago it was a footballer.

Before that, coastguard.

So, no I’m not going to steer him one way or another. I just talk to him about why he wants to do that job and how he will make money to live etc. We talk about how you can have a job and do the things you like as sometimes we can’t always have a “fun” job.

My aim as a parent is to teach my children to make sensible decisions as well as take risks. It is not to tell them what to become.

Logits · 05/09/2018 08:59

@CherryPavlova saying 'it's up to them' is clearly not twaddle because from your post it seems like that's exactly what you've done for your children. Of course most parents will guide and help with career choices as best as they can. But the OP was asked whether people have decided if their DC are going to university and which career they want their DC to pursue which is quite different.

wizzywig · 05/09/2018 08:59

Why the consternation? How many threads and posts about getting your kids into and remaining in university? Theres obviously a lot of involved parents. Is noone saying they think that a particular job is perfect for their child? In my situation itd be working in disneyland/world as a cast member, working in a library, being in the army/ a policeman for my kids

hiddeneverything · 05/09/2018 09:01

Whatever will make them happy. At the moment one wants to be a flying doctor and the other is too small to talk.

hiddeneverything · 05/09/2018 09:01

PS Won't recommend uni unless it's for a specific career

Biker47 · 05/09/2018 09:01

Just waiting for the OP to return and tell us she had a heart-to-heart with her three year old, who has decided all by herself that she wants to be a either a Consultant Neurosurgeon or a CEO of a multinational pharmaceutical company.

Sure thing, if you say so.

Oliversmumsarmy · 05/09/2018 09:02

*Believeitornot

My friends son wants to be a gamer on YouTube ffs. Sometimes you have to steer them in the right direction no?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣*

I am sure I have seen you can get a BTec (worth 2 GCSEs) in game design

Disfordarkchocolate · 05/09/2018 09:03

None of mine are doing what they said they wanted to do when they were young or what I thought they would like to do. Happy matters, fulfilled matters to some. I tried to focus on life skills and confidence, not sure how well I did though.

Original poster
glammother31 · 05/09/2018 09:04

Lol at people saying it's up to them!

Most kids would say ok I'll stay at home and play Xbox all day!

OP posts:
AdelaideK · 05/09/2018 09:04

Lol at your 3 year old having a career all planned out. Good luck with that.

My son at 3 wanted to be a seahorse.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 05/09/2018 09:05

Well I think we can assume that the OP lives in the basement of Hogwarts now....

Bimgy85 · 05/09/2018 09:06

You steer them but they will go whichever way they want and if you force them too much they will resent you later in life. Act accordingly

AdelaideK · 05/09/2018 09:06

Yea but they're not kids when they start working are they?

Why am I even answering this goady rubbish? Confused

Bimgy85 · 05/09/2018 09:07

Lmfao she's three and she already knows what she wants to do? Let me guess a doctor? A princess? An astronaut?

Don't worry she'll change her mind hundreds of times over the next fifteen years op

Oliversmumsarmy · 05/09/2018 09:07

At 3 both of mine wanted to live in teletubby land and be best friends with the Tweenies

QuizzlyBear · 05/09/2018 09:07

My DH's parents were incredibly controlling about his education and career, having mapped it all out early and paid for the very best schools. He rebelled and dropped out of his first university place, taking another decade to get onto a career path he wanted.

My parents were very laissez faire and just let me get on with it, offering very little guidance and support and I struggled to find my niche.

For my DSs, we guide, we encourage and we support. One has firm goals and is fast achieving them, the other has no realistic aims and needs more nudging. At 3, though? They've both had 100 different careers in mind since then! 🤔

Uchafi · 05/09/2018 09:08

I hope they choose something they're happy doing. Whether it's being a doctor or stacking shelves in Tesco on a night shift. I couldn't care less. Providing they're happy in life I'll be happy. I certainly won't be pushing them in any direction or pressuring them into doing anything they don't want to do.

AllyMcBeagle · 05/09/2018 09:09

Where did your other thread about your instagram and your daughter's modelling career go OP?

I don't see how you can be so snobby about other careers and say that your 3 year old has "decided" to be a model.

You do not come off well here at all.

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