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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what career you want for your child or children?

354 replies

glammother31 · 05/09/2018 08:15

Have you got it all mapped out or are you just going to roll the dice? Will they go to uni or have you not decided?

I'd be really interested to hear different points of view.

OP posts:
Johnnyfinland · 05/09/2018 08:16

Surely that’s up to them, not the parents? Hmm

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2018 08:17

I’m guessing you’ve got modelling mapped out for your daughter? Hmm

It’s totally up the the child.

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2018 08:17

The tone of your post is awful by the way.

Didiplanthis · 05/09/2018 08:18

Anything but medicine (learnt the hard way myself). Guess what they want to do ??

Original poster
glammother31 · 05/09/2018 08:19

Yea i get that but they need guidance surely!

My friends son wants to be a gamer on YouTube ffs. Sometimes you have to steer them in the right direction no?

OP posts:
DonnaDarko · 05/09/2018 08:20

He can do whatever he wants, as long as it's not illegal, and it makes him happy.

Lighthearted: I'd love for him to be a rugby player though.

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2018 08:20

Yea i get that but they need guidance surely!

You’re talking about having decided whether they’re going to university or not. That’s much more than “guidance”.

Shaboohshoobah1 · 05/09/2018 08:20

Why on earth would we decide what they want to do? What a strange post! How old are your children OP?

Rebecca36 · 05/09/2018 08:21

I just wanted them to be happy and fulfilled, to be whatever was right for them. It happened too! However some youngsters are not sure exactly what they want to do for a long time and had that been the case I would have let them explore, try different things, push doors for as long as necessary. You're only young once.

cmlover · 05/09/2018 08:21

the only real want, job wise for my children is that they choose something they love doing.

secondly I hope it's well paid so they don't have to struggle......and can buy me a house

Original poster
glammother31 · 05/09/2018 08:21

My daughter is 3 for context.

OP posts:
ProseccoPoppy · 05/09/2018 08:22

It’s up to them. Obviously. Why on earth would it be up to me or DH to decide Confused

We plan to support them as best we can, and we are saving for university so they won’t have any debt (they can have the money for other training or a house deposit if they decide not to go to uni).

hiptobeasquare · 05/09/2018 08:23

Anything that they want to do. Unless it is illegal. Being a YouTuber is a potentially lucrative career nowadays, especially if you can set up a decent patreon page to support you as advertising money on YouTube is harder to secure. YouTube is demonetising videos for the most ridiculous things.

cmlover · 05/09/2018 08:23

if I had to choose... ds1. working with animals... maybe a zoo.

ds2 a chef or comedian

what they want. ds1 YouTube ds2 a swimming instructer

Original poster
glammother31 · 05/09/2018 08:24

My daughter already knows what she wants to be anyway. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones!

OP posts:
apostropheuse · 05/09/2018 08:24

Wow. You can't map out your children's future career or "decide" if they will go to university. None if that is your choice!

I just wanted mine to be happy and healthy, whatever their choices.

DieAntword · 05/09/2018 08:26

I daydream about my kids future careers. Of course it will end up being down to them. I just don’t want them being wastrels like me.

Some I’ve dreamed about - CERN physicist, luthier, carpenter in the tradition of William Morris, graphic designer, oud player and composer, quantum algorithm writer, architect, proffessor of something dreadfully clever, ethnographer, ethnomusicologist, linguist.

Mostly stuff I wish I’d done. Knowing me I’d never have had the self discipline to do any of that so I can’t be too upset if my kids follow in my wastrel footsteps, but hopefully I can convince them of the folly of it.

Bluebolt · 05/09/2018 08:26

I have just tried to influence them that sometimes not having a set plan is not always a bad thing. If one wanted to be a gamer then I would not dismiss it but would probably encourage IT in their subjects.

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2018 08:27

My daughter already knows what she wants to be anyway. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones!

Er, she’s three. She doesn’t know what she wants to be. How could she? Hmm

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2018 08:27

What has she decided then?

AlexaShutUp · 05/09/2018 08:27

You sound incredibly controlling, OP.

I certainly haven't "decided" whether my dd is going to university or not. The only "guidance" that I will be giving her is that she needs to work really hard in order to keep her options open, to research any potential choices very carefully and to do something that she finds genuinely interesting which will pay her enough to lead the kind of lifestyle that she wishes to live. Beyond that, it's up to her.

Of course, I will offer my opinions and advice if she asks for them, but it's not for me to map out her future. I have my own life to plan.

Spudlet · 05/09/2018 08:28

I hope he finds something that he enjoys, and that what he enjoys earns him enough to be happy and not to be struggling too much.

As long as he's happy and secure, I'll be happy too.

Oliversmumsarmy · 05/09/2018 08:29

Both of mine want to do stand up comedy. I will back them 100%.

But eldest is qualified in something else as a back up and ds is going to college to learn a trade.

cmlover · 05/09/2018 08:29

glam thatd likely to change a 1000's time before she even gets to school.
but what is that she wants to do?

I will encourage my ds to travel the world before settling down for a career obviously it's their choice but I think it's important.

50Running50 · 05/09/2018 08:30

Jesus Christ! Shock

What a load of goady rubbish!!