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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what career you want for your child or children?

354 replies

glammother31 · 05/09/2018 08:15

Have you got it all mapped out or are you just going to roll the dice? Will they go to uni or have you not decided?

I'd be really interested to hear different points of view.

OP posts:
JammieCodger · 05/09/2018 09:42

I have dreams for both of them (12 & 14) but unfortunately their dreams are different. So I’m supporting them to do what they want to do, while not closing off opportunities to change their minds.

Some ideas I’ve managed to steer them from. DD2 wanted to be a chef for ages. She likes cooking and sees TV chefs and think that looks like a great job. I know that the hours/pay/conditions mean that liking cooking isn’t enough, you’ve got to be passionate about it and she’s not. She now wants to be a lawyer who does a lot of cooking in her spare time. I don’t think she’ll become a lawyer either, but having that as her aim will close off far fewer doors than catering college would.

InspectorIkmen · 05/09/2018 09:43

I have my own brand that I've worked hard to cultivate

Brand of what? Crack cocaine? Home made crystal meth?

Oh wait - you mean the 'brand' is you don't you? Worked hard you say? Grin Grin

Norma27 · 05/09/2018 09:44

My 4 year old recently asked if she could be anything she wanted when she grows up. Sure you can, I said. She told me that she is going to be a unicorn!
My 12 year old wants to be a scientist either in forensics or something related to space.

My dad is a professional artist. No doubt many would think that wasn’t a feasible career but he has earned a great living from it over 40 odd years.
My friend’s sister plays football for England and has an MBE for services to sport.
A man I went to school with was a professional footballer and is now manager of a championship football league. His last team played Arsenal in the Europa League and won their country’s equivalent of the premier league. I doubt he would have been encouraged to wish for this as a career path.
A girl I went to school with is an actress and was in a soap opera for a few years.

I will be happy as long as my daughters are happy whatever they do. I will encourage them to follow their dreams- although being a unicorn might be stretching it.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 05/09/2018 09:44

I have my own brand that I've worked hard to cultivate.

Being a Goady Fucker isn't a brand Op. It's a calling...

ChimesAtMidnight · 05/09/2018 09:44

Most kids would say ok I'll stay at home and play Xbox all day!
Possibly, but that's children.
Adults who are beginning a career would choose differently.

evilharpy · 05/09/2018 09:48

My daughter is nearly 4 and has already decided on her future career. She is going to be a professional knitter. I will be her only client. She will knit all my clothes and I will pay her money, which she will spend on buying stickers.

She came up with this plan entirely by herself.

Original poster
glammother31 · 05/09/2018 09:49

Thanks to those that have given honest answers!

OP posts:
Annabel7 · 05/09/2018 09:50

Happy and independent is the aim - especially for my son who has extra needs. For my daughter I also hope she chooses something lucrative as, a) she's showing signs of expensive tastes, and b) if she has a family I'd like her to not have to be the default 'at home' carer (unless she wants to be) purely because of being the lower earner.

Bluntness100 · 05/09/2018 09:50

I have my own brand that I've worked hard to cultivate

What does that even mean?

Instagram isn't a brand.

Cath2907 · 05/09/2018 09:53

My daughter is nearly 8. She has wanted to be a variety of things so far - may favorite was when she said she wanted to be "one of the money people in Tesco" (cashier). when asked why she said "because I bet they get paid lots, it is a really difficult job doing peoples change and things!" She was horrified when I explained that it was not a highly paid career choice. She wanted to be a dancer (2 left feet) and a singer (she is better than me but definitely no Beyonce) and currently wants to be a hairdresser.

I steer her in as much as I share my interests with her (I am a chemist) and I encourage her to read. As she gets towards choosing GCSEs I will sit down with her and discuss her interests and possible future careers and hopefully I can give her a little guidance on choosing a good mix of subjects. Same with A-Levels. E.g. if she wants to be a vet then she needs to do a Biology GCSE! However if she wants to be a hairdresser and it makes her happy that would be fine with me too.

I remember sitting down with my parents trying to decide between an Industrial Chemistry Degree and my Yachtmaster Instructor qualification and them letting me decide what I wanted to do. They were good parents and I made the right choice but it was MY choice.

InezGraves · 05/09/2018 09:53

I have my own brand that I've worked hard to cultivate.

Oh dear. Does it involve duckface pouting while scampering with your three year old through a wheatfield in front of a carefully-curated picnic as an Insta-friendly 'kerrazy' daily activity?

Original poster
glammother31 · 05/09/2018 09:54

Using the power of social media to harness income streams.

My invoice is in the post Hmm

OP posts:
TheHulksPurplePanties · 05/09/2018 09:57

Instagram isn't a brand.

Technically instagram IS a brand. They (i.e. the lovely people at Facebook) make their money out of instagrammers like the OP who sell a stylized, false, perception of life and themselves. The vast majority of these people will not make a living out of it. And given the fact that the OP trolling MN, I'm assuming she's one of the one's not making it.

CloudCaptain · 05/09/2018 09:58

I would provide advice and perhaps try to steer them toward something I think they would enjoy and provides a decent salary. But if it's a low paying hobby they are interested in, perhaps suggest doing something to earn a lot of money quickly first The world is their oyster. But money greases the wheels and opens doors.
I had no idea what I could do and no guidance so spent some time bar tending before going off to uni. Having a degree and experience opens doors too.
Sorry waffling.
We have a savings pot for them to afford uni or get on the housing ladder. Whichever suits.

DieAntword · 05/09/2018 09:59

@Cath so you picked Yachtmaster instructor right?

LIVIA999 · 05/09/2018 10:02

@evilharpy I'm well into the idea of a 100% knitted wardrobe

Bluntness100 · 05/09/2018 10:03

Using the power of social media to harness income streams

Hmmm. Is it anything like you use the social media that is mumsnet?

Do you not do anything then?

Cath2907 · 05/09/2018 10:06

@DieAntword - Nope Chemistry Degree :) . Worked for 10 years as a Development Chemist and now in medicines licensing working full time from home. I sailed as a hobby for years though and was a certified coastal skipper. I used to crew other peoples boats transporting them from place to place in my holidays. Not been since having DD but I guess I could afford my own yacht (small and second hand) now if I wanted.

Looking back and changing my mind now I'd have fancied marine biolgist.

DieAntword · 05/09/2018 10:11

I originally wanted to do chemistry and I actually wasn’t awful at it but my total lack of work ethic and weed smoking and starting fires in the woods when I should have been in class got in the way.

Honestly with my kids I’m just hoping to be a cautionary tale, but I’m worried they’ll say “well mum was a total dosser and she seems happy enough” lol.

PeaceRaven · 05/09/2018 10:15

Whatever they enjoy the most, unless it involved motorbikes in which case they face the threat of being disinherited 😎

5SleepingLions · 05/09/2018 10:19

At the age of 3 my Ds wanted to be a fire engine Grin

llangennith · 05/09/2018 10:20

DD1 wanted to be a teacher based on how much she enjoyed playing school with her dolls. Became a lawyer.
DS when young wanted to be a builder, did a physics degree, hated working for someone else, now has a successful go-kart business.
DD2 wanted to be a waitress till she was about 11. Loved working in bars and anywhere sociable while at uni. Now in marketing but I think she'd be happier if she could be at the stables all day if it paid as well as her job does.

Cousinit · 05/09/2018 10:22

Whatever they want to do. As long as they follow their passions I don't think they'll go far wrong. I won't be pushing them into a career of my choice.

DC06 · 05/09/2018 10:31

I would probably encourage them towards a sustainable career rather than something freelance or unreliable. Obviously you don't want your children to struggle financially or have bouts of unemployment. So tbh them getting a professional job with a decent salary and opportunities to progress would be optimal for me. That being said if my child doesnt want to follow that patg that would be ok too but I would hope they were ambitious. I work with many young people (15-19 year olds) and It's disappointing that many of them have no interest in working. I've even had one tell me he is waiting until he is 18 to sign on but will deal drugs on the side for some extra cash! Sad thing is that's exactly what his 20 some thing year old brother apparently does!

cheesefield · 05/09/2018 10:37

Younique?