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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be upset if your parents and both your adult DDs forgot, and five days, later still seemed unaware...

319 replies

liz70 · 03/09/2018 16:51

...that your DH and you had had your twentieth wedding anniversary? No card, no phonecall, no message, no acknowledgement whatsoever?

Just that, really.

OP posts:
ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 03/09/2018 16:52

Personally no, I wouldn't. It's between my husband and I - no one else needs to know / remember.

MrsMozart · 03/09/2018 16:53

Nope.

No-one but DH and I remember ours, and we don't remember anyone else's.

Norma27 · 03/09/2018 16:53

Personally I don’t expect others to remember my wedding anniversary. I wouldn’t remember theirs either unless specifically going to a celebration.

Urbanbeetler · 03/09/2018 16:54

No- we usually forget ourselves.

mum11970 · 03/09/2018 16:54

Nope, never felt our anniversary warranted a card off anyone else other than each other. Have never really got my head round why others think anyone else would be interested.

treaclesoda · 03/09/2018 16:56

No one acknowledges our wedding anniversary except us, so I wouldn't give it a second thought.

But if they usually acknowledge your anniversary and suddenly this year they haven't, then yes, I can see why you'd be upset.

TheViceOfReason · 03/09/2018 16:56

Nope. Anniversaries mean NOTHING other than to the married couple.

For an exceptionally large / special anniversary such as 40 years + i'd do a card for my parents.

DieAntword · 03/09/2018 16:56

I don’t remember my parents’ so I couldn’t get offended by that.

BillyCongo · 03/09/2018 16:56

Did your DH remember? Really that's all that matters. I don't get why people expect a fuss by other people over wedding anniversaries they are not the same as birthdays. Confused

obviousNC101 · 03/09/2018 16:57

God do people really think we have nothing better to do with our lives than remember and mark endless anniversaries as well as all the birthdays? Ffs - it's a personal thing. Grow up

Witchend · 03/09/2018 16:57

No. We just had our 20th and we went out for a nice meal and DH got me flowers. No one else needed to do anything.

AamdC · 03/09/2018 16:57

No , actualluy though my mum phoned me up yp wish me and dh happy anniversary a few weeks ago we had both forgottenGrin

Mouseville65 · 03/09/2018 16:57

Sorry but no I wouldn't.

My very good friend was upset that I didn't wish her and her husband a happy first anniversary, I apologized as I'd upset her but explained I'm the sort of person who thinks it's a personal thing between couples.

Princecharlesfirstwife · 03/09/2018 16:57

No. I'm quite sure none of my DCs have any idea of the date we got married. And my mum has dementia and thought DD1s 18th birthday party last week was Christmas day, bless her, so no hope there. If DH or I remember (let alone particularly care 24 years later) it's a bonus.

LotsToThinkOf · 03/09/2018 16:57

Aren't wedding anniversaries for the couple to mark? Rather than other people?

I've never celebrated someone else's wedding anniversary.

Fatted · 03/09/2018 16:58

We don't celebrate other people's wedding anniversaries nor do we expect others to celebrate ours. Only DH and I bother with ours. I do remember my DSis anniversary but that's because it falls on another significant date as well!

gamerchick · 03/09/2018 16:58

No, anniversaries are for the couple. I wouldn't expect other people to remember. Hello struggle myself, for some reason my brain is convinced it's the month after Grin

JupiterDrops · 03/09/2018 16:58

My mum always makes us feel guilty when we forget so now we have it in our calendar and one of us reminds the others to buy a card and text them.
I do it just to keep the peace but it annoys me. I wasn't born when they got married so it means nothing to me, why would I remember it?

I'd never remember anyone else's anniversary and certainly wouldn't expect anyone to remember ours.

DelilahandDaisy · 03/09/2018 16:58

No, and my children were at our wedding and remember it clearly, I still don’t expect anything from them, it was our day!

ThisIsTheNational · 03/09/2018 16:59

I think it would be a pity if they missed your 25th, but I don't think many people would do anything for a 20th. Did you do or say anything to "help" them remember?

LastOneDancing · 03/09/2018 16:59

Nope, wouldn't bother me a jot.

Rebecca36 · 03/09/2018 16:59

No, wouldn't care. I couldn't tell you the date of my late parents & in laws anniversaries. As it happened they did always remember ours :-) but I wouldn't have worried if they hadn't.

DC never remembers ours even though it is a few days before his birthday!

PandaG · 03/09/2018 17:00

Children no, they weren't there, but I would be a bit miffed if DP and PIL didn't remember. Was our 25 last month, and both sets sent a card.

BestZebbie · 03/09/2018 17:00

I'd only be insulted if I'd thrown an anniversary party they were supposed to be coming to and then they didn't show up. Who has brain space to remember other people's anniversaries?

PotteringAlong · 03/09/2018 17:01

No. It’s not something we celebrate/send cards for.