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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be upset if your parents and both your adult DDs forgot, and five days, later still seemed unaware...

319 replies

liz70 · 03/09/2018 16:51

...that your DH and you had had your twentieth wedding anniversary? No card, no phonecall, no message, no acknowledgement whatsoever?

Just that, really.

OP posts:
Ignoramusgiganticus · 03/09/2018 18:12

Birthday, maybe. Anniversary no such expectation whatsoever. Why didn't you remind them beforehand?

Purpleartichoke · 03/09/2018 18:13

The only person I expect to acknowledge our anniversary is my spouse.

StoorieHoose · 03/09/2018 18:15

Nope. As long as DH remembered that’s the main thing. Other people’s Wedding anniversaries aren’t something that I place great importance on

lightonthewater · 03/09/2018 18:17

Just had our 30th - not one card. No one but us remembered. I never remembered my parents anniversaries either.

MirandaWest · 03/09/2018 18:20

I’d be surprised. Both my mum and dad and sister and husband send cards for ours (and for some reason my mum sends the value in pounds for the length of marriage).

XH and I made it to getting 11 pounds - DH and I are up to £2 so far.

So if especially my mum didn’t send anything I’d feel something was a bit wrong I think.

yoghurtbinger · 03/09/2018 18:20

Some of our relatives remember, but only because they got married on our wedding anniversary, so ours is the same as theirs!

NerrSnerr · 03/09/2018 18:21

Nope- I wouldn't expect anyone to do anything to mark our anniversary. My MIL does remind my husband every year to send them a card so it's important to some.

The only person I care about on my anniversary is my husband.

Armchairanarchist · 03/09/2018 18:21

I wouldn't expect anyone except DH to remember and mark it. A 20th isn't particularly a special or noteworthy anniversary, although we will have a family celebration for our Silver one next year.

BigDamnHero · 03/09/2018 18:24

It was my wedding anniversary the other day. My mum posted on FB, 'BigDamn, Facebook is saying I should wish you a happy anniversary.'

That was more than I was expecting from anyone bar my husband (and last year we both only realised it was our anniversary when I saw it on FB...).

It's your anniversary. Why should anyone else care??

EdisonLightBulb · 03/09/2018 18:24

No absolutely not, it's my 25th this year and I didn't have a clue, neither did DH, it was my friend who got married just after me that reminded me. I don't mean this awful but you're being a bit precious.

Armchairanarchist · 03/09/2018 18:24

@newbosunset as an ex JW I can confirm this is true.

ShalomJackie · 03/09/2018 18:24

20th isn't a celebrated one though so if they don't usually send cards then yabu. If they do then yes.

Usually its the 25th ie. silver that is the first "biggie"

starfishmummy · 03/09/2018 18:24

No. In fact DH and I didn't even celebrate our 20th (or any. Guess we might do 25 but just us not a party)

Monkee4 · 03/09/2018 18:27

I’m so pleased I’m not the only one - I’m not actually married so I don’t have one but don’t send family ones - mainly becauae I don’t remember them and I suspect they think i am dreadful but birthdays are quite enough and Christmas without bloomin anniversaries! Some weddings are best forgotten too ..

seriouslynonames · 03/09/2018 18:32

I wish no one would send us a card then I wouldn't have to remember all their anniversaries....!

mydogisthebest · 03/09/2018 18:38

I can't believe people don't know their parent's wedding date. I also am surprised so many people don't remember their own anniversary.

Me and DH have been married 39 years and never forgotten our anniversary. We give each other a card, some years a small present, go out for a meal and sometimes go away for a night, couple of nights or even a week.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 03/09/2018 18:39

Reversals are tedious

No, I wouldn’t be bothered, it’s OUR anniversary. I couldn’t care less if anyone else remembers or not 🤷🏻‍♀️

However, I never forget my parents anniversary because firstly, it’s important to me, and secondly my Mum would be really upset if I did.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 03/09/2018 18:42

No.

It’s of no interest to anyone else other than the two whose anniversary it is.

AriadnePersephoneCloud · 03/09/2018 18:43

Also no. We barely remember and don't remember anyone else's Grin

CherryPavlova · 03/09/2018 18:44

We celebrate ours together. I can’t see it’s anything anyone else needs worry about until we get to Gold. I’ve no idea when my parents were married. I know where, I know the year but that’s all.

I8toys · 03/09/2018 18:44

Nah I don't know what my parents wedding date is. Myself and DH just celebrate it together - for our 20th - a night away in a hot tub.

Hidillyho · 03/09/2018 18:46

No, I think other people remembering and giving cards for anniversaries is a bit odd

DollyWilde · 03/09/2018 18:47

We use our anniversary as the password to various online things so as to stop us forgetting, plus it’s marked on our google calendar Wink

Lauren0rder · 03/09/2018 18:48

I would but that’s because anniversaries are the only thing we do celebrate as a large extended family.

We don’t celebrate birthdays or Christmas.

Orangecake123 · 03/09/2018 18:48

'i'd expect your dh to remeber not dds.