Would you be upset if your parents and both your adult DDs forgot, and five days, later still seemed unaware...

[liz70]

...that your DH and you had had your twentieth wedding anniversary? No card, no phonecall, no message, no acknowledgement whatsoever?

Just that, really.

My side of the family everyone has the view that wedding anniversaries are private to the married couple, I couldn't even tell you when everyone's is. Husband's side is different. They make such a fuss and send expensive cards with money in to each other. It annoys the hell out of me. I left husband to do it himself and he just sticks my name on the card.

Why would anyone care? Like seriously?

This thread has just reminded me that my best friend has her 2nd anniv next week though. I was her bridesmaid so I will send a nice message!

I don't acknowledge anniversaries. I think they are a two person event.

However, did you tell people it was your 20th? Put it on social media? I'd expect loved ones to congratulate you on being made aware of it, but no more than that really.

No, definitely not. I don't really celebrate and find it weird that others expect others to remember. Surely it's a person thing between you and your husband. Obviously some people chose to have parties and invite friends etc to mark the occasion but that's the only time I would give someone a card. My parents and grandparents get a bit miffed if others don't remember. So I do, but I don't really get it. I don't expect anything for mine.

No. Our wedding anniversary is between DH & I.

I wouldn’t expect anyone else to remember, certainly wouldn’t expect card/gifts off anyone else.

YABU.

No I'd honestly not be bothered. It's mine and my dhs anniversary not anyone else's.

Anyone other than me remember the Maeve Binchy novel where the adult children are put under enormous pressure by their slightly Hyacinth Bucket mother to stage a massive 25th anniversary party? 'Silver Wedding' I think it was called. Any Irish MNetters able to say whether this is a 'thing' in Ireland still?

Nope it's between you and your husband no one else

To be honest I think people have vastly different views on wedding anniversaries - my m'nlaw excitedly showed up at my door on our first anniversary with a card and flowers...I was literally shocked which may sound extreme but I had just assumed wedding anniveraries were something private between the husband and wife. I literally don't get it when people congratulate me on reaching my wedding anniversary...I know none means its in this way but they are effectively congratulating me that we made it through another year. I don't keep track of my parents wedding anniversaries. I couldn't tell you which year they got married and my sister is 50 so it was a very long time ago!

I’m afraid not, a birthday yes! Anniversaries are for the couple alone, who may wish to involve others by invite if they wish, like for a 20th.

We don't "do" anniversaries in our family. DH's parents send a card every year but we don't get any others. 20 isn't really a big anniversary either - 25th is the first major one. I don't even remember the date of my sister's anniversary.

Not at all!

I have DD's wedding anniversary on my birthday calendar but she'd be very surprised if I did more than send a text or mention it on the phone. She and her DH celebrate it together, it's their anniversary, not mine!

Well I know from previous threads on the subject and on another forum that the general opinion is that only the couple concerned bother with an anniversary.

That is totally not true in my family though. My parents, my 2 siblings, my nieces and nephews all send anniversary cards to each other EVERY year. On big anniversaries we buy presents.

20th isn't a big anniversary, 25th your silver is, but I wouldn't even notice that for another couple unless they planned a party.

If you hosted a party/meal, and they all forgot, fair enough to be a bit miffed.

Otherwise, no, it's for you and your spouse to celebrate.

Reverse?

Nope, anniversaries are a private thing between the married couple.

I would only expect anyone else to acknowledge it if they were invited to a celebration party - and even then, I would find it a bit odd if anniversaries other than the major ones (Silver (25), Ruby (40), Gold (50) or Diamond (60)) were being celebrated.

We don't expect anyone to remember our anniversary, but occasionally our adult DC remember and send a text. We do however receive a card every year from some close friends which is lovely of them but I really wish they wouldn't do it. We never send them one - I'm not getting into all that malarkey. It's not even as if they came to our wedding - we didn't know them then.

No. You (if it is your anniversary) obviously didn't make a thing of it either or they would have noticed

we had our silver in June and the only person that remembered was an old school friend who was at the wedding. Not sure my children (2 are adults) even know when our anniversary is. Really not bothered.

Nope anniversaries are largely irrelevant to anyone but the couple involved.

It's weird that literally everyone on this thread has said no they don't send cards and yet the shops have lots of anniversary cards - general ones, ones to parents, ones to sister and brother in law etc.

Someone must be buying the cards so obviously people do send card.

Our adult DC know that we don't expect them to do anything, and I doubt if they could be exactly sure of the date, although they'd probably know the month. It's between DH and I, of no interest to anyone else.