Would you be upset if your parents and both your adult DDs forgot, and five days, later still seemed unaware...

[liz70]

...that your DH and you had had your twentieth wedding anniversary? No card, no phonecall, no message, no acknowledgement whatsoever?

Just that, really.

No, we don't do anniversaries and usually forget ourselves so wouldn't even think about it.

No, sorry. I don't really remember anniversaries. I don't give my parents anniversary much thought beyond wishing them a nice day if I remember. They make a little fuss of each other but don't expect anyone else to do the same.

We do celebrate bigger ones in our family though as they are milestones. For my parents Silver, I got a special named 5 Dollar shake card, put one of their wedding pics in and got family & the registrar (family friend) to sign it and they loved the surprise. There's a big age gap so I don't know if they'll get another 'big' one together. Dad would be in his mid 90s if they managed their Ruby!

Congratulations for sticking to your vows for another year 😂😂😂

No OP, I certainly would not expect my children or parents, siblings, in-laws, anybody else on this planet, to acknowledge our anniversary, let alone make a bit of a fuss over it and also, to still be pissed off about it days later seems a bit batshit.

The date means something to you and your husband, but it means sod all to anyone else.

My DM sends us an anniversary card but she is generally very keen on sending cards for all occasions. Our adult DD's don't bother. They know when it is because it is the day before my birthday but it isn't an occasion of any importance to them. I wouldn't expect a card from them at all.

No, I wouldn't mind. In the nicest possible way, no-one else gives a shit. I mean, if you said, "Oh it's our 20th anniversary on Tuesday" I'd expect a few "Oh really? COr 20 years, how lovely" sorts of replies, but for others to spontaneously remember? Nah. For them, your wedding was a nice day with a few bevvies and a bit of cake, it was hardly life-changing for anyone outside the marriage.

I think it depends on the people involved. My Mum always sends us a card for our anniversary, she sets great store by remembering these kind of things. So when she doesn't mark e.g. a birthday you know you are being 'punished' in her PA way for some misdemeanor because she would never, ever forget. MIL on the other hand is completely random if she remembers these things, I take no offence if she forgets something because the next event she might well have a notion and go all out to celebrate. Either extreme has no impact on how she feels about someone.

YABVU, a wedding anniversary is for you and your husband to celebrate, I would expect anyone else to remember it. Fuss over nothing, it’s not even a special anniversary.

There have been years when we didn't realise it was our wedding anniversary until one of our parents sent a card. We try to make more of an effort for each other now but we don't expect anyone else to remember.

No. We don’t expect anyone to remember ours and we don’t remember other people’s. It’s just for us.

Oh I think that was pretty much unanimous then. I always made a point to remember my DPs and Dsis anniversary, but since I have been married and realise that I care not whether other people remember mine ( (except DH) I have not been so vigilant.

No. No-one in our family would remember. In fact this has reminded me that I have just forgotten my parents' anniversary.

Though when one of us said 'it's our 20th wedding anniversary next month and we'd like to invite you to a meal / party / drinks' or whatever, we would all send cards.

Did you remind them it was your 20th or mention you were thinking of doing something special to mark it? See, people don't keep track of other people's wedding anniversaries. Never met anyone who remembers the date of mine let alone the number of years it's been.

Not really no.

I always thought it was a bit strange buying cards and gifts for other people's anniversaries unless it was a big one and they were hosting a party - my parents divorced whilst I was still young so maybe that is why? I wouldn't personally be offended if my dc or parents/PIL didn't remember my anniversary. I'd be naffed off if dp forgot though!

I know my parents anniversary and sent them a card this year coz it was their twentyfifth. I may have taken them out for lunch too, I’m not sure.

I don’t usually send a card though. I know the date because it’s also my grandad’s birthday and the year because it’s the age I will be at my next birthday. Otherwise, no chance. I definitely don’t know and have never known either set of grandparents, until one sets fiftieth this year, but even then I didn’t know the day only the vague time because they had a party.

No i wouldnt expect anybody to remember an anniversary unless id organised something or reminded them

Nope wouldn't bother me but to be fair I hate pointless card giving so that would account for it

No. My friends and family never remember our wedding anniversary, I never remember theirs, and me and DH forget our own most years.

I don’t even know when my parents’ anniversary was, but then they didn’t even wear their wedding rings. Very low key. I think they celebrated their 25thm but we weren’t expected to do anything for it.

However, I was at university with a girl who was expected to make a big deal of her parents’ one. She and her siblings had to buy them a card and present (each!) every year, it was so odd to me! I suppose it just depends what’s done in your family, but she’s the only one I’ve met who had that happen.

No I only remember my own because it is the birthday of one of my son's friends tbh.

No, never remember anyone else’s anniversary and don’t expect them to remember ours. We are lucky if dh and I both remember.

No, I wouldn’t get upset. The only reason why I even remember ours is because it’s on April Fools Day😀

Married couples I know get a card from me for a few years but after five or six it's between themselves. It would be nice it kids remembered but not exactly like forgetting your birthday.

No, and OP seriously please don’t take offence. It has nothing to do with the others. Don’t expect anyone else to be interested. Sorry but it’s between you and your husband. Unless you planned a party and invited them all and no one showed up or no one responded, then yes talk them like a sensible adult, telling them what you need. Thats it. Otherwise do not bring it up with them. Leave it. Move on.

Nah - don't expect anyone else to remember it. We sometimes forget.