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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

school trip

408 replies

sunshineNdaisies · 30/08/2018 17:11

DD is in her final year of primary school here in Scotland and every year they go on a residential trip. I don't want DD to go. DH thinks she should. She's 10, not 11 til end of January.

It's for 5 days, mon-fri at an outdoor education centre. They will be doing things in all weathers like canoeing, abseiling, walks, cycling etc. I've looked up the venue and it's 6 kids to a room, shared toilets/showers, middle of nowhere. The food menu example is all things my DD will hate. No vending machines, no mobile phones allowed, no calls to parents, not allowed to bring own sweets.

It'll be mid November - so very likely to be rainy, cold, windy, lots of midgies.

I know my DD. She's not outdoorsy at all. If there's no food she likes, she wont eat or survive on bread and butter. She will hate the rain, wind etc. She thinks she can take her phone so she can call us - she can't. I can see her being very homesick and upset. Two of the three teachers in charge are teachers that neither DD or myself like. Also, I fully expect my DD to start her periods soon, all the signs are there.

DD says she wants to go but this is because 'all her friends are going'. The cost is £320 and I'd much rather spend this money doing something that DD will actually enjoy, not spending that money only for DD to come home in tears which I'm 99% certain will happen.

DH and his parents think I should let her go for 'the experience' and 'she might end up liking it'. I'm being made to feel like a big baddy.

Also what can I do with DD during that week instead as DH has no annual leave left for us to take her somewhere else.

OP posts:
Baumederose · 30/08/2018 17:12

Spend the 320 quid on cotton wool and bubble wrap

BlueSky198080 · 30/08/2018 17:13

My ds didn’t want to go, we pushed him into it. He had an amazing time! At 18 still does some of the activities he first tried there. Sorry no help!

Seeline · 30/08/2018 17:14

She wants to go!
She will know all about it from hearing the previous years talk about it.

It's a right of passage that brings the year together and forms a lasting memory for the kids.

ItchySeveredFoot · 30/08/2018 17:14

Send her! She wants to go and it's only for a few days. I had massive anxiety issues as a child and I still enjoyed my school trips.

Seeline · 30/08/2018 17:15

Oh and the activities will be led by trained instructors not the teachers.

Nikephorus · 30/08/2018 17:15

If she wants to go let her. Show her the menu example & explain what it will be like before she decides (but do it you & DH together so you're not biasing her!) and make sure she knows how to deal with periods & send her prepared just in case. And if she's homesick they'll let her ring - but check that with them first.
Are you sure you don't want her to go because you'll miss her?.....

MiggledyHiggins · 30/08/2018 17:16

I'm with your DH on it.

Sometimes letting them do something out of their comfort zone opens up new experiences and opportunities for them to enjoy.

She wants to go. Her dad thinks it will be good for her. It's 5 days and she will be with her friends. Buy her insect repellent and san pro.

Disfordarkchocolate · 30/08/2018 17:16

Mine all did something similar when they were younger. All loved it. Very few in the year don't go, they could feel left out if they don't go. They'll probably surprise themselves by learning something new and out of their comfort zone.

PatriciaHolm · 30/08/2018 17:16

The venue and teachers will be well used to children with fussy eating eating/sleeping habits, who aren't normally "outdoorsy" etc. I can't imagine for one minute that the food they feed 100s of 10 year olds each year won't encompass some things she likes.

Chances are when she's with her friends, she'll have a fab time.

And presumably it's in school time, so if she doesn't go, you'll have to send her to school as normal. You won't just be able to go on holiday.

PristineCondition · 30/08/2018 17:17

Your holding her back.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 30/08/2018 17:17

My DS2 with ASD went on a 4 day residential when he was 4 years old. For goodness sake don't let your anxiety issues spoil your DDs life like this.

Returnofthesmileybar · 30/08/2018 17:18

Yabu, let her go!

Laughing at the £320 on bubble wrap and cotton wool Grin

Original poster
sunshineNdaisies · 30/08/2018 17:18

Nothing to do with missing her. DD will hate it. It's not her thing at all. No way would the teachers allow her to phone us if she's in any way upset or homesick. She has a tendency to break bones too. I showed her the menu and she screwed up her face. I'm not willing to spend £320 for my DD to come home upset.

OP posts:
NewGrandad · 30/08/2018 17:18

I'm also with the pp who have said she should go.

Also if she doesn't go she'll still be expected to go to school during that week.

grasspigeons · 30/08/2018 17:18

It's about learning resilience and independence to be honest, more than enjoying themselves. They are really important skills to develop.

FASH84 · 30/08/2018 17:18

I wasn't very coordinated at that age, couldn't even ride a bike, but still had huge fun, orienteering, going on ghost walks (we went to an activity centre with old ruins), building rafts out of barrels and falling in a lake (been back since it's barely even a pond), building a fire and cooking on it, plus all the team activities. I did things I was really scared to do like abseiling, but felt exhilarated having done it. Please let her go, her classmates will all be going and she will miss out not just on the experience, but the in jokes and shared stories for the rest of the year

SoupDragon · 30/08/2018 17:19

DD says she wants to go

That is the only thing that matters.

Whatsforu · 30/08/2018 17:19

I think you excuses are a bit lame. Kids have to learn to push themselves in certain situations. This is the start. There are no midges in nov so she will have one less worry.

Ava1988 · 30/08/2018 17:19

I've been away on about 20 school residentials in my career and the benefits of going are unbelievable. I've seen children challenge themselves, grow in confidence and make friendships that will be lifelong. Maybe explain to dd she can't take her phone would she still like to go and if the answer is yes then she should go. I've done 5 day residentials with Year 4 before so being in her last year I think it's a right of passage. Plus you'll be surprised what a child will try in terms of food when their friends are around.

halcyondays · 30/08/2018 17:19

She wants to go, those rules are normal on school trips, she can bring san pro and the teachers will have painkillers. Of course they will be sharing rooms.

ItchySeveredFoot · 30/08/2018 17:20

Has she never tried anything she or you thought she'd hate? You don't know she'll hate it you just think she will. Remember what it was like to be with your friends at that age? That's all she'll be bothered about.

Racecardriver · 30/08/2018 17:20

I was like your dd at that age. I we r on a similar trip. I loved it. The cold hugely added to the experience. Stop being so clingy.

FASH84 · 30/08/2018 17:20

We made a vegetable stew on the fire one night and every kid ate it, we were hungry from all the activity and we'd made it ourselves, it was probably quite grim but even the fussiest eaters joined in. She'll turn her nose up on paper but it will be different when she's there

SoupDragon · 30/08/2018 17:20

The venue and teachers will be well used to children with fussy eating eating/sleeping habits, who aren't normally "outdoorsy" etc. I can't imagine for one minute that the food they feed 100s of 10 year olds each year won't encompass some things she likes.

I agree. They have, presumably, taken hundreds of children away - your DD is not going to be unique in what you perceive to be her likes and dislikes.

twiglet · 30/08/2018 17:20

There aren't any midges in November! I do a lot of outdoor activities all year around.

Your daughter wants to go and she will soon forget the rain when having fun with all her friends, she won't forget you not letting her go when all her friends will be talking about it for ages!

The outdoor centres are brilliant and used to dealing with kids who aren't outdoorsy and encouraging them and they will have something she will eat!