school trip

[sunshineNdaisies]

DD is in her final year of primary school here in Scotland and every year they go on a residential trip. I don't want DD to go. DH thinks she should. She's 10, not 11 til end of January.

It's for 5 days, mon-fri at an outdoor education centre. They will be doing things in all weathers like canoeing, abseiling, walks, cycling etc. I've looked up the venue and it's 6 kids to a room, shared toilets/showers, middle of nowhere. The food menu example is all things my DD will hate. No vending machines, no mobile phones allowed, no calls to parents, not allowed to bring own sweets.

It'll be mid November - so very likely to be rainy, cold, windy, lots of midgies.

I know my DD. She's not outdoorsy at all. If there's no food she likes, she wont eat or survive on bread and butter. She will hate the rain, wind etc. She thinks she can take her phone so she can call us - she can't. I can see her being very homesick and upset. Two of the three teachers in charge are teachers that neither DD or myself like. Also, I fully expect my DD to start her periods soon, all the signs are there.

DD says she wants to go but this is because 'all her friends are going'. The cost is £320 and I'd much rather spend this money doing something that DD will actually enjoy, not spending that money only for DD to come home in tears which I'm 99% certain will happen.

DH and his parents think I should let her go for 'the experience' and 'she might end up liking it'. I'm being made to feel like a big baddy.

Also what can I do with DD during that week instead as DH has no annual leave left for us to take her somewhere else.

She should definitely go.
When she's tired and hungry and all the other kids are eating she will too.
It's hugely important for building independence and she's lucky to have the chance, so many schools daren't do these types of trips anymore.

I’m a Year 6 Primary Teacher and can say that at least 50% of most of the children we take are unsure, nervous etc, but in all the years (10) I’ve been going we have only had to call a parent once.

I've looked up the venue and it's 6 kids to a room, shared toilets/showers, middle of nowhere. The food menu example is all things my DD will hate.
She’ll be fine in shared toilets/showers, why would you have an issue with that. On no school trip will you get single rooms with en-suites.

No vending machines, no mobile phones allowed, no calls to parents, not allowed to bring own sweets.
Again, totally normal. Why would they need a vending machine? Phones get lost/broken and children can actually get upset if parents are upset if they talk to them. They don’t need sweets for a residential trip, they’ll be too busy.

be mid November - so very likely to be rainy, cold, windy, lots of midgies.
With the right clothing, they won’t even feel the cold.

If there's no food she likes, she wont eat or survive on bread and butter.
She’s only ther for 5 days, she will manage, even the fussiest eaters we e taken have been very well catered for. If school know she’s a fussy eater, they can work around that with staff at the centre.

*I fully expect my DD to start her periods soon, all the signs are there.
Life doesn’t stop for periods and the teaching staff and centre staff are more than able to deal with that and help reassure her.

You can project your worries onto her, you’ve said she is saying she wants to go, so let her go. At the end of the year all our Y6 children write an entry for their school year book, and every year, every child mentions at least one thing from the residential being one of their most fun times.

Sounds like you are desperate to put her off between now and going. Do you seriously think they will be washing their clothes and hanging it out? Or are you just trying to make her associate the trip with chores?

would they have to put their own sheets, duvet and pillow covers on? I don't think DD or even any of her friends would do that easily? She can tidy her bed but making it needs me to help her.
Yes, they’ll probably have to make their beds and strip them on the last day, but guess what, they help each other and if they’re really struggling, shock horror, the teachers or centre staff will help them.

She doesn’t need to learn how to wash her clothes or wash dishes for her residential, but by this age she should be helping do that anyway. Cut the apron strings and unwrap her from the cotton wool bubble you’ve got her in, let her be herself and stop making issues of things that aren’t even there.

You're setting her up to fail if you do things like showing her menus, anticipating that she will react to them. Let her go and be positive and excited with her. It will be horrible for her if she stays behind, then all her mates come back full of stories of what they got up to.

p.s. I'm old, so when I went on my school trip mobile phones didn't exist. We actually went on a coach to a neighbouring country for 5 days (I won't say which, don't want to identify myself). Everyone had a great time, and even my friend being sick on the coach was quite exciting!

OP I think most parents are concerned at least when their first one oes on the Y6 outdoor education trip.My DS1 went to East Barnby on the North York moors and that week there was the most snow there had been in 20 years and I was so worried about that.We did have a little code system with all 5 or my Dc that if they really needed to come home they would tell the teacher they had a dental abcess as the school have to ring you for any illnesses and injury and as soon as I heard the word abcess I would know they were unhappy and arrange to pick up.But they never needed it- they all had a ball
Schools will not ring you for homesickness, they miht say they will but they won't, it is contagious and if one oes home homesick others will want to.Instead they keep kids really really busy and up late so they fall asleep easily.
The instructors are really ood at getting kids to push themselves to do things they are a bit afraid of and the children come back a foot taller! Seriously they do change and for kids like your DD even if (big if) she doesn't really enjoy it at the time, lookin back it will a momentous experience and source of pride
Please do not deny her this opportunity

You should be grateful OP there are countries in which 5 year olds (I think as young as 3 in some cases) are taken on residential trips abroad! THAT I feel is too young. In your case it's absolutely fine.

Surely she can learn to make the bed before she goes? Or she'll just learn when she's there!