Would you leave your DCs behind?

[Americanoplease]

If you had to move to USA for business purposes, and they didn't want to leave the UK and but want to stay with their dad. Ages 18, 17 and 15.

Is it a permanent move or just for a short time?

I can’t inagine choosing to do this unless it was only for a short time and the pay meant I could travel back several times a year... maybe not even then.

I'm afraid I wouldn't go.

Yes, I would, provided Dad was decent and not the flakey twat my ex is.

No. Although I am considering working away mon-fri so exH has them weekdays and I have them weekends as the only job offer i have had is 100 miles away and I have been made redundant recently.

It's killing me.

Wow that is a hugely tough decision. Presume you are not together with their dad? No one ‘has’ to move for work. It’s a choice... Would also for me depend on how good/involved the Dad is. Does the job pay for flights back at fairly regular intervals to see the kids? I personally couldn’t do it.

Providing their father was a good father and would look after them well, I would

Nope - the DC are at a critical point in their lives / education. I wouldn't want to mess that up.

At those ages I wouldn’t go. Their needs are more important at that age IMO

No I wouldn't.

Yes, plenty of people I know have done it. Both parents have gone and left the kids in uK with relatives or at school. It’s the US not Australia, they will be fine.

So its kids vs Job? Then I would be chosing my children without thinking about it.

Not at those ages.

Unless you can't get another one....just saying

Yes, their dad is very involved and sees them often. First trip is 6 months, next trip is permanent.

No, I wouldn't. Only way I would consider it is when they're all over 18, but at 15 and 17 they're still vulnerable, IMO.

No i wouldn't. I just don't have it in me to put me before them.

No.

To be honest I wouldn't want to be that far away from my kids whatever ages they were

Leave my children and go to live thousands of miles away? No.

I couldn’t do it.

I wouldn't even consider it personally. Not until they've left home of their own accord

No I wouldn't unless they were coming out very frequently and spending lots of time with me

No. I think when you have a child you have a duty to be near them for the whole of their childhood.

No way.

I couldn't do it but is there any chance of you doing the 6 months and trying to persuade them to visit often in the hope they'll change their minds? If you do the 6 months do you HAVE to do the permanent move or can you only do the 6 months?