Would you leave your DCs behind?

[Americanoplease]

If you had to move to USA for business purposes, and they didn't want to leave the UK and but want to stay with their dad. Ages 18, 17 and 15.

I know someone whose parents emigrated when he was 17. It fucked him up emotionally for a loooooong time. I am sure it's different when one parent stays but even so I'm not sure I think it would be alright.

Depends how often you would be able to see them. Could you try the six months, they come and visit a month or two in and you come back for a visit too?

Absolutely no way, I couldn't do it

It depends on the reason you have to go? Are there absolutely no jobs you can do here?
Honestly, teens still need their parents so I really don't think I would.

No way.

I know a reverse to this. Dad works in the US. Mum stayed at home with 10/16/18 year olds.

Its hard on everyone.

No, I wouldn't have left them.

Not unless I was prepared to accept that my relationship with my children would never be the same again. I personally would never leave my children for work purposes. Work can wait.

No sorry, I wouldn't. Even if I was married to their dad, I wouldn't leave a 15 year old.

No, those ages are pretty crucial. Still really kids but think they're adults. Could it be put off for 4-5 years till they're all flown?

I'm surprised they wouldn't want to go with you for the adventure though op. I would have had my parents hands' off at the opportunity at any of those ages. Is it they'd miss their other parent too much?

No I wouldn't do it.
Why are you thinking about going?

I think if you could skype them regularly, and have them to visit regularly it could work - I suppose it depends on how good your relationship is with your ex.

No, I wouldn't do it. No job could be worth that.

Also PP saying hopefully after 6 months they might change their mind and move out to be with you. You would then be taking them away from their Dad, which isn't right either, especially in respect of the youngest one.

Mine are young so it’s hard to imagine but I don’t think I would permanently. Maybe if it was a short term role but I’d ensure regular visits were possible before agreeing.

I couldn't do it, I would really miss them.

No, at the worst I would wait till they're all over

how important is this job to you? Would you really put earning good money over seeing your kids regulary? Does a job really mean more to you then seeing and being with your kids? Really?

I would rather take a job that just scraped me through life, then not see my kids ever for a few luxuries.

I certainly wouldn't expect them to go with me at that stage.

No way. 15 year olds think they’re grown up, but they’re babies. It’s a really emotional age as they are growing up and changing. They need stability and security at home.

No, I wouldn’t go. Is there any chance you can hold of for a couple years and then think about it again? I think it’s tricky age, doing A levels and GCSE’s around thoughts ages?

I would love to move away but my 14 year old does not want too so I can’t even consider it, I couldn’t leave her behind until she was independent (not living at home or relying on me).

No I wouldn’t.
Both my son and I want to move abroad but I’m waiting till he’s finished school so I don’t take him away from his dad.

No

No.

Would definitely depend on so many factors: is he a responsible and caring father, what’s the situation with the job (once in a lifetime etc), what are your job prospects here, What will be the opportunities for you visiting them and vice versa, how much leave do you get, how long between the first trip and the permanent role etc?

Well, many 15 year olds (and younger) are sent to boarding schools in different countries/on different continents. Not so much from the UK but definitely to the UK from elsewhere.
And even when boarders are in the same country, they don't necessarily see more of their parents than international boarders/than you could possibly manage to arrange. Christmas, Easter, summer hols and possibly for half terms as well - either them visiting you or you them.
So anyone happy with boarding school should consider this feasible.

The older kids are at the 'going off to uni' age anyway, what if you stayed and they end up rarely coming to see you? Because their social lives /jobs take them away during the holidays and they're busy all the time, you might only see them 3-4 times/year anyway. And you'd find yourself wondering why you stayed for their sakes.

I moved to a different city at 15, on a sort of weekly boarding basis, though I had a busy social/sports life so ended up not going home many weekends at all. Maybe that's why I never got into teenage arguments with my parents. I simply didn't see them frequently enough, and when I did, they treated me with all my favourite things ;)

Though as you are thinking about a permanent move: I now permanently live in a different country than my parents (it was my choice/my move though) and find that of all the phases in my life, I now more than ever miss my parents being near. As a grown-up with my own family, rather than as a childfree couple, or single young adult, or teenager. If I were in this situation due to my parents' choices, I'd be a bit miffed (whilst respecting their life choices of course).

Nope. I can’t imagine ever wanting to leave my kids behind whether it’s for a job or not.