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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding v missing cat - WWYD?

190 replies

Twotailed · 23/08/2018 11:36

My best friend is getting married on Saturday in a town about an hour away and I am supposed to be travelling through this afternoon to help her with venue set up. However, my beloved cat has gone missing (totally out of character, very very worried). WIBU to not go until this evening or even tomorrow, so I can stay here to look for my cat?

I am MOH so I feel like it’s terrible if I don’t go today. I’m not the only person helping and I don’t think they strictly need me, but I know my friend is very excited for me to arrive and wants me there.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Cupcakecafe · 23/08/2018 11:39

I'd probably call my friend and say the cat had gone missing and would she mind if you went over to her this evening instead of now.
Check she isn't freaking out about anything, and check if there's anything she wants you to take with you later on that she might have forgotten.
Unless she's being a bit of a bridezilla hopefully she won't mind (I wouldn't mind if it was me)

Laiste · 23/08/2018 11:41

Is there anyone who can take over cat hunting for you?

MoodyMumOfOne · 23/08/2018 11:41

Definitely stay and look for your cat, a good friend would certainly understand. I do hope you find him/her. Please update us xxxx

TheWalkingTalkingRed · 23/08/2018 11:43

Is there not someone who could spend some time looking for the cat this afternoon for you? That would keep you updated?
I know how worried you must be, our beloved cat went missing for 2 weeks once - also out of character- I was beside myself and then she just waltzed in one day as if nothing had happened!

MrsPartridgeStMarys · 23/08/2018 11:48

I have cats. Unfortunately they go missing. ALL. THE. TIME. Even if it’s out of character. Do you have a list and found group on Facebook? If so, alert them, give them your neighbours phone number and leave a key. Also, if you use a litter tray put it outside as they can smell it up to three miles away.

Your best friend will only ever get married once xxxxx

Laiste · 23/08/2018 11:50

I was going to say - the likelihood of you finding the cat is quite low OP. 99 out of 100 times this happens the cat arrives back safe and sound no matter how much or how little the owners have fretted! Going to the wedding prep will help you take your mind off it. Hope cat comes back soon x

ArmySal · 23/08/2018 11:51

I'd stay and look for my pet, personally.

UrsulaPandress · 23/08/2018 11:52

Cats are evil bastards. Yours will have planned this meticulously.

toomanychilder · 23/08/2018 11:52

I'd feel like looking for my cat too, but as a bride I would be less than impressed with the MOH bailing because of a cat!

Laiste · 23/08/2018 11:55

BF of DD has his cat go missing for the first time in 10 years a few weeks ago. Was gone 9 days. They put poster up, took turns in wandering round town calling. One day she walked back home a bit skinny with a bit of engine oil on her fur. They think she must have been shut in a garage for a while. Nothing they could have done.... she’s totally fine now.

serbska · 23/08/2018 11:57

I would look for my cat.

But I would also be annoyed if my MOH bailed on me for her cat.

Soooo......

Original poster
Twotailed · 23/08/2018 11:58

Cats are evil bastards. Yours will have planned this meticulously.

No doubt...

Just to clarify, I would definitely not miss the wedding which is on saturday - I would just like to hold off leaving until later, so I can maximise my chances of finding her. But you’re probably right that there isn’t much I can do Sad I’ve put her on local Facebook groups and contacted our vet, plus put up posters and put flyers through letterboxes. She’s just such a shy, nervous cat and a total homebody who has never gone further than the garden before. I keep thinking she must be hurt or frightened somewhere

OP posts:
Dollymixture22 · 23/08/2018 12:02

I totally understand - I would be heartbroken leaving if she was still missing.

Do you have a cat flap so she can get inside if she turns up later or tomorrow?

Can anyone else come round to yours to check while you are away?

I don’t think you are being unreasonable to be a bit late today.

I really hope she turns up

RibbonAurora · 23/08/2018 12:03

I'm afraid my cat would win in this situation. Your friend must have someone else who can help her set up the venue, what does that entail exactly? Some decorations, setting out chairs and tables? Where are her fiancé and families in all this. Stay and look for your cat. If she's a good friend she'll understand.

FASH84 · 23/08/2018 12:05

When we lost our cat, I was in bits, he was inside the extractor hood in the kitchen, check everywhere!

Original poster
Twotailed · 23/08/2018 12:06

Yes, there are lots of others on hand to help - I don’t think she’s relying on me in terms of Labour, I just know that she’ll be very excited for me to arrive and start the process (which I do understand). But she’s also an animal lover so maybe she would be fine with me coming later.

I’ve just spoken to my in laws who are happy to come in and look while I am gone but they are away today, and once my husband gets home from work he is going to stay here and look for her rather than coming to join me which was the original plan. So it’s really just this afternoon that is the worry.

OP posts:
TooTrueToBeGood · 23/08/2018 12:06

If my dog went missing I'd skip my own wedding if I had to until I found him.

Saggital · 23/08/2018 12:06

In situations like this, I tend to ask myself what would Audrey Hepburn have done?

Branleuse · 23/08/2018 12:06

Cats always go walkabouts. Id leave out food and water and go to the wedding

Saggital · 23/08/2018 12:08

m.youtube.com/watch?v=YnOfomPgETs

Booboostwo · 23/08/2018 12:08

Who would have looked after the cat when you went to the wedding? Could that person still housesit and keep an eye for the cat? Maybe also visit all the neighbors and ask them to check sheds, etc for he cat?

Unfortunately there isn’t much you can do when cats go missing, but most return right after they feel they have scared you sufficiently.

daffodillament · 23/08/2018 12:09

Leave a load of food outside in your garden and go and enjoy the wedding.

PeaceRaven · 23/08/2018 12:09

My pets are members of the family, no contest.

Nikephorus · 23/08/2018 12:09

If my dog went missing I'd skip my own wedding if I had to until I found him.
If you were MoH for my wedding I'd either be skipping my wedding or having the ceremony and then taking all the guests out to look for your dog!
Audrey Hepburn would have stayed home looking Grin

RoseWhiteTips · 23/08/2018 12:09

Your kitty should take priority. x

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