Wedding v missing cat - WWYD?

[Twotailed]

My best friend is getting married on Saturday in a town about an hour away and I am supposed to be travelling through this afternoon to help her with venue set up. However, my beloved cat has gone missing (totally out of character, very very worried). WIBU to not go until this evening or even tomorrow, so I can stay here to look for my cat?

I am MOH so I feel like it’s terrible if I don’t go today. I’m not the only person helping and I don’t think they strictly need me, but I know my friend is very excited for me to arrive and wants me there.

WWYD?

Just to echo PPs - my cousin's cat went missing for ages. She (cousin) was so worried, photos on FB every day etc (understandably). The cat came back after a week or two very hungry and dejected - most likely locked in a shed.

I wouldn't mind if you were late today if I was the bride, I'd understand. But if it was me getting married it would all be a slapdash affair and I'd probably forget my own rehearsal!

Not all cats are bastards! Mine loves being outside but pops home at least every hour for a cuddle / food / nap. He's very affectionate and not particularly brave. If we're going out, he stays in. When the kids go to bed he comes in and wants his collar off and his own bed. If he was gone more than a few hours (I think the most, ever, was about 3) I would be worried, so I totally get where you're coming from, OP.

Hope your girl comes home soon, please keep us posted.

I hope she turns up soon OP. I've been there, I let my 2 sisters out at 3am on Christmas Eve morning (I'd been up late secretly wrapping etc) only one came home.

I didn't want to alarm my DD as she was only 5, but DS and I searched for her, but we knew if she could have come home she would have done. Christmas Day at parents just worrying, I left the kids there for a happy time and feigned illness to go home alone and look for cat. Boxing Day no news, I was asking the neighbours on the 27th and it turns out she was knocked over and somebody had called RSPCA and she was taken away (she had died). Neighbour said I thought she might be yours, but didn't want to know over Christmas!!! Never found out where she was taken too. It was heartbreaking.

So no YANBU and I hope your friend understands.

BUT on another note, a couple of months later a random cat appeared in our neighbourhood and she looked SO much like mine, even her sister ran up to her and did a double take. 3 months after that word reaches on a Facebook pets group that this cat is missing, I said I have seen her! The owner put posters up all around my area (2 miles from her home) and her cat was found safe and well having taken up residence down the road from me - her relief and thanks to me were amazing.

Blimey that's an essay! Anyway I hope she turns up soon and you can have a stress free day and enjoy being MOH

Do whatever you want to do, the bride should understand. Really, it's your situation, you are not necessarily needed if she has other helpers.

Just tell her a.s.a.p. so she can make the others crack on.

Hope cat turns up.

I'd definitely go later. My cat would win over a wedding any day and I hope any of my friends would understand - they'd be ex friends if they didn't.

I hope your girl comes home soon

Just sending positive wishes that your feline overlord is well and show up soon.

I have three and I'd be gutted if one went missing.

Cat definitely.

Doubtful that you'll find the cat by looking, it will turn up eventually or (hopefully not) a vet will get in touch if it's come to harm and is chipped. That happened to me once. I do understand and we worry when our cat doesn't turn up for breakfast, but he always has eventually.
Depends how close you and your friend are, how much she's relying on you, how many other people are going to help etc.

Sorry but absolutely adored pets don't roam the streets. Responsible pet owners keep their pets confined to their properties and never have to worry about missing a friend's wedding because they can't find their pet

Wtf?? We're talking about a cat, you cannot confine them to their property unless they are house cats, my cats would hate it if I tried.

Op, I'm sure your kitty will turn up. I had that with one of my girls, she was missing for only about 12 hours but it was so out of charecter for her I convinced myself she was dead. She wandered in as if nothing had happened, and had it been her sister who hadn't come home I wouldn't have batted an eye lid as she always takes ages to come in.

Fingers crossed :)

Look for your little cat OP, I really hope that you find her.

Mine was missing for 17 days once, and to make it worse she was scared of the outdoors so I used to keep her in. Ex OH let her out by accident one day. I was terrified as she wasn't used to being out and it was the middle of winter. Called all the local vets, put up posters, etc, and then just when I had given up all hope she turned up at the kitchen window looking for her breakfast! She was pretty skinny so we reckon she must have got locked in a shed or something.

I know it's horrible when it happens but they are known for going off on their little adventures without a thought for their owners panicking at home! So stay positive, fingers crossed she'll be back soon.

Op, I'm sure your kitty will turn up. I had that with one of my girls, she was missing for only about 12 hours but it was so out of charecter for her I convinced myself she was dead. She wandered in as if nothing had happened, and had it been her sister who hadn't come home I wouldn't have batted an eye lid as she always takes ages to come in.

This is exactly how I feel. Her brother is here at home and I wouldn’t think twice if it were him because he often stays out for ages. But it’s so unlike her to be gone that I keep imagining she must be dead. But we have seen that at least 3 of our neighbours have decking that she could easily crawl under so I wonder if she has got a fright and is hiding under there? If so she might not come out until it was dark.

Thank you so much for all the reassuring stories - they are making me feel much better. And I texted my friend to let her know my cat is missing and she herself suggested that I stay and look instead of joining her so I feel much better about that as well (and grateful that she’s such a lovely friend)

Oh no, OP!!! Not sure if it's already been suggested - try emptying your Hoover into the garden as the dust smells just like your house!!

My overlord cat disappeared for 24 hours. Was awful. She is my fur child. Came in like nothing had happened! Another time she didn't come home at night (we lock her in at night) and found her the next morning,stuck up a tree!

We find walking round the estate and her know haunts shaking her food and calling her name works. Always give her cat milk or tuna when she finally turns up.

Good luck and please keep us posted if you find her!!!

Glad you've got such an understanding friend. stay and look for her/encourage her home until DP gets back and can take over.

I would also stay and look for my cat.

You'll be no help to the Bride all distracted and stressed out anyway and while you won't enjoy it neither will anyone else with you upset-I'm sure the Bride will understand and you can make it up to her on the day.

Good luck- I look forward to happy update...

It's a cat. Go to the wedding.

I’m going to the wedding. It’s never been suggested that I won’t go to the wedding. The wedding isn’t until Saturday. I’m desperately hoping my girl is back long before then.

Has your other cat been out since? When one of mine went missing his dbro sat in the garden all day and on the windowsill inside all night. His howling told me his dirty stop out dbro was at the door ten days later! Had no cat flap back then!

Aww, that is sweet. Her brother has been in and out bit, but mostly he’s slept on the bed upstairs - clearly not that worried about her

Have you rang the council? Apparently they aren't obliged to inform the owner if a dcat is found on the roads.

Aprilshowersinaugust that’s so awful, poor owners never knowing what happened 😞 I haven’t rung them but I will now

I don't think I could be good friends with someone who thought a some wedding prep was more important than a family pet.

I hope she comes back, OP.

One of my old family cats once went missing and was gone for days. We'd all given up hope but he must have been locked in somewhere because my mum said he returned absolutely ravenous and just ate and ate. Other than being hungry he was fine.

Just to give owners of lost cats a little bit of hope - my cousins cat turned up last month having been missing since October. Apparently she'd been hanging out a couple of miles away and eventually someone saw a FB post. A little dishevelled and thinner, but very happy to be home.

Agree with PP - i'd miss my own wedding if my cat was missing.

They are not just cats. They are family. I love my cat more than most humans I know.

Keep looking OP, stay on it. My cat was missing for 8 days and if we hadn't persevered and found him when we did we would have never got him home. Good luck!

Some councils do have chip scanners - you can check with environmental health.

I know how scary and awful this is, but bear in mind no news is good news where cats are concerned!

Join your local neighbourhood watch group on Facebook and cat club if you have one. Between them they tracked mine down - got him back within the hour of his being found by a stranger!