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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding v missing cat - WWYD?

190 replies

Twotailed · 23/08/2018 11:36

My best friend is getting married on Saturday in a town about an hour away and I am supposed to be travelling through this afternoon to help her with venue set up. However, my beloved cat has gone missing (totally out of character, very very worried). WIBU to not go until this evening or even tomorrow, so I can stay here to look for my cat?

I am MOH so I feel like it’s terrible if I don’t go today. I’m not the only person helping and I don’t think they strictly need me, but I know my friend is very excited for me to arrive and wants me there.

WWYD?

OP posts:
3luckystars · 23/08/2018 16:12

If you are delaying because of the cat, just lie about it because she might not understand.

SillySallySingsSongs · 23/08/2018 16:14

I'd feel like looking for my cat too, but as a bride I would be less than impressed with the MOH bailing because of a cat!

I agree and we have cats that we love.

Imsorrylhaventaclue · 23/08/2018 16:15

Definitely stay home and look for your cat, fingers crossed she comes back soon so you can go to the wedding without worrying Flowers

SillySallySingsSongs · 23/08/2018 16:15

If you are delaying because of the cat, just lie about it because she might not understand

Lying about it will never end well.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 23/08/2018 16:16

bear in mind no news is good news where cats are concerned!

IME this is definitely true; if OP's cat doesn't wander far she'd almost certainly have found her by now if she'd been run over

Much, much more likely she's got shut into a shed or something, especially with folk using them a lot in this warm weather ... in which case she'll no doubt stroll in before long with a "WHAT??" expression

thecatneuterer · 23/08/2018 16:32

I agree that it's likely she's shut in somewhere. Which is why the best thing you can do is to leaflet all surrounding houses and, better still, knock on doors, ask them if they have a shed and ask them nicely if they can have a look there and then.

And the cat takes priority of course.

Shinesweetfreedom · 23/08/2018 16:36

Ok how do you get the cat in normally.Bowl rattle,Dreamies bag rattle.Do that gently around your area.

Candyflip · 23/08/2018 16:37

Are you absolutely sure she is not in the house somewhere? My cat is an utter bastard and despite hearing me frantically calling her and fretting way beyond what is normal, she stayed hidden in a really obscure place for hours.

amymel2016 · 23/08/2018 16:40

I absolutely love my cat and know how you feel but if I was MOH at my best friends wedding then I would go now. Can you get a neighbour to check every now and then and give you an update?

Lunde · 23/08/2018 16:41

Have you totally checked out your own house? One of mine went missing for 4 days before Christmas and somehow she found a way into our own cellar and got stuck.

Have you also checked with neighbours and asked them to check garages and sheds etc? We have rescued various cats from neighbours' garages (twice but different neighbours), the 3rd storey of a potato barn and from an unoccupied holiday let.

showtime7 · 23/08/2018 16:45

Stay and look for your cat - no contest.

GoatWoman · 23/08/2018 16:45

My cat also went missing for 4 days. We suspect she hid on a building site when it was raining and got locked in for the weekend.

Good luck!

thecatneuterer · 23/08/2018 16:48

Oh yes, garages too (there are no garages where I live - I tend to forget they exist)

SirVixofVixHall · 23/08/2018 16:55

May have been said already, but tell all local vets. Ask the binmen if they have found a body ( I’m sorry to write that but my friend found her cat this way ). Check under any the decking of neighbours with a good torch . Cats hit by cars often break their pelvis and can crawl under things. I found my injured cat, who had cut himself very badly on razor wire or similar, hiding under a large rock in next doors garden. My dog found him, he didn’t mew or anything.
Call and ask all neighbours if you can check sheds etc, as cats often get trapped in them in the Summer time. Get local children involved , offer them a small reward. Kids notice cats even when adults don’t.

Friends cat was found on someone’s windowsill, she’d been there for days, a mystery as to how she got there. Cousin’s cat was trapped between hay bales and couldn’t climb back out, she was found just in time as she’d had no water for a week. Other friends cat found injured, hiding under a hedge, she’d been shot with an air rifle, made a full recovery. Cats do tend to hide when hurt.
Facebook, twitter etc. Is there an equivalent to DogsLost for cats ?
Good luck . I really hope she’s home soon.

SylvesterTheCat · 23/08/2018 16:59

SirVixofVixHall those stories are awfully sad :(
Now I'm worried about my cats even though I only saw them an hour or so ago!

MrMeSeeks · 23/08/2018 17:08

Ignore the ignorant posts, some people like to kick you when you’re down.
Mine was veryhurt, but still came back after being missing for ages.
Completely healed now ( after lots of vet and tlc Smile)

freshstart24 · 23/08/2018 17:21

Fingers crossed your cat comes home very soon OP.

My cat disappeared a few months ago. At the time it was completely out of character for him not to come home in the evening. I was convinced something awful had happened.

I became even more worried when it started raining really heavily, and continued for hours. I went out several times in the night calling him, and listening out for rustles or miaows in the garden.

He finally appeared about 24 hours later. Soaking wet, very vocal but totally unharmed. I think he'd just gone on an all day adventure.

There are lots of similar stories on mumsnet and there is every chance that your cat will be back very soon.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 23/08/2018 20:03

Any news OP ?

HappyReading · 23/08/2018 20:08

I hope you found her OP.

SirVixofVixHall · 23/08/2018 21:26

Sylvester, sorry to worry you. All but one of those cats was found alive and survived. Cats do of course get stuck in places for a short time, or roam a little bit too far and get a fright, but then come home.
I hope she is home soon op.

Original poster
Twotailed · 23/08/2018 22:48

She is back! I just had a call a few minutes ago from one of my neighbours who spotted her in their garden - she was so frightened she ran away from us but my husband managed to grab her. She’s starving and frightened and filthy - I think she was hiding underneath decking or something. But she isn’t hurt (will take her for a vet check up just in case but she seems fine!)

Thank you for being so kind - your stories were reassuring to me! And now I can go to join my friend tomorrow and prepare for the wedding stress free ☺️

OP posts:
DollyWilde · 23/08/2018 22:51

Ohhhh twotailed thank goodness! Don’t they give us a fright? So pleased for you. Hope DKitty feels suitably sorry for herself (and learns a lesson!) and you and friend have a fabulous wedding SmileFlowers

MirandaWest · 23/08/2018 22:52

I’m so glad she’s back Smile.

Original poster
Twotailed · 23/08/2018 22:55

They do - pet ownership is voluntary stress based torture!

She was obviously preemptively punishing me for leaving her for a couple of days while I’m at the wedding!

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 23/08/2018 23:02

Great news OP , enjoy the wedding and I hope the cat recovers quickly from her frightening experience .