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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Complaining at somebody else's house

201 replies

PoesyCherish · 22/08/2018 09:00

My friend has been staying at my house for the last few days as she's over from abroad. Everything about me / my house seems to be wrong. It's too cold, too messy (I thought it was really tidy!), I cook food the wrong way, I don't have an adequate enough mirror for her to use to straighten her hair, my car is too dirty.

AIBU to think if you're staying at someone's house completely free of charge, eating their food and being driven around several hundred miles free of charge completely inconveniencing your host with the times and distances of said car journeys you don't complain this much??

OP posts:
SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 22/08/2018 09:01

Wow how rude of her!!

gonnabreakmyrustycage · 22/08/2018 09:01

She’s just rude. Don’t invite her again!

Rosepetal01 · 22/08/2018 09:02

Yup I would tell her book a air b n b for rest of her trip !

MissConductUS · 22/08/2018 09:03

How soon is she leaving?

MsOliphant · 22/08/2018 09:04

I have a friend like this, she thinks she comes across as outspoken but charming. She thinks it's really endearing and everyone must think she's an amusing, demanding little princess.

They do not. They think she's a dick.

Original poster
PoesyCherish · 22/08/2018 09:04

Yup I would tell her book a air b n b for rest of her trip !

@Rosepetal01 ahh tempting but I would feel so guilty doing that. Part of me also feels she doesn't have a lot of money so I can't ask for anything - but then she spent over £200 on a suit yesterday which whilst maybe isn't a massive amount (I don't know, I spend around £100 on mine) I know I wouldn't be able to afford that much so maybe she isn't as short on cash as I thought.

OP posts:
Aprilshowersinaugust · 22/08/2018 09:04

Send her a link to an alternative accommodation and ask her does she need help to pack?

Original poster
PoesyCherish · 22/08/2018 09:05

@MissConductUS she's leaving Saturday first thing.

OP posts:
spudlet7 · 22/08/2018 09:06

You're surely going to say something to this rude individual? Shock

MozzchopsThirty · 22/08/2018 09:07

I'd show her the fucking door

TiffinBox · 22/08/2018 09:08

The classic mn line 'did you mean to be so rude?' might work here. Well at least stop the entitled madam in her tracks. Cheeky fucker.

KlutzyDraconequus · 22/08/2018 09:09

Don't take my advice but I would just ask you to think about this:

Why is it ok for her tonupst and offend you whilst you bend over backwards to avoid offending and upsetting her?
She doesn't care about your feelings, stop caring about hers and the next comment she makes tell her to fuck off out of your house.

Sparklesocks · 22/08/2018 09:11

Incredibly rude, especially as she’s your friend and you’re doing her a favour.
She must have loads of other redeeming qualities OP as I’d find it hard to remain friends with someone who thought it was acceptable to speak to me like that in my own home….

CherryPavlova · 22/08/2018 09:12

Just tell her that her constant complaining upsets you.

Cupoteap · 22/08/2018 09:13

Just reply 'you're right, you should get a taxi/order yourself a takeaway/etc instead' and walk away.

sexnotgender · 22/08/2018 09:13

You don't complain at all!

Unless your host is playing music at 4am and having raucous parties then you smile politely and say thank you so much for having me.

My BIL complained recently that he didn't feel welcome (after staying for 3 weeks!) after we'd bent over backwards to try and make sure they had everything they needed.
I think we failed to smile indulgently at his little cherubs screaming at the top of their lungs and asked them politely not to trash our new home.
They essentially used us as a base for their travels round the U.K., ate all our food and then moaned at not being welcome...

In short the invitation will not be repeated! I was close to asking them to leave after one particular incident but bit my tongue for my husbands sake.

If there will be no repercussions tell her to sod off.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 22/08/2018 09:15

She sounds rude.

Not to be xenophobic, but does she come from a culture where things are stated without finesse? I remember a German friend being rather similar during a visit. It wore thin quickly! But when I thought about it, there were an equal number of things about her house that were not to my satisfaction (dawn rising, meat at every meal, town dead from 5pm, rules about everything). It's just that I would make a mental note rather than saying it out loud.

Rosepetal01 · 22/08/2018 09:16

I know it’s tempting . Kind of reminds me of an episode of desperate housewives where the one who had all the kids and was married to Tom . Her friend came to stay and was the same really rude but turned out she was really jealous of friends home and family . It could be that .

Thehop · 22/08/2018 09:18

With every dig say “ did you mean that to be so rude?” Or something like “I was so looking forward to having you this week but it’s just made me feel hurt, how much you hate everything despite me working really hard for you”

longwayoff · 22/08/2018 09:18

Point to the Travelodge just over there. Bye

Juells · 22/08/2018 09:20

Next time she criticises tell her she can move out to a hotel if it doesn't suit her. And don't smile while you say it.

butterflysugarbaby · 22/08/2018 09:20

I would ASK her why she keeps being so horrid. IME, when people are spiteful and bitchy and cutting, it's because they are jealous. Ask her if she's jealous of you (and your home.)

SocialPiranha · 22/08/2018 09:20

I’d be telling her to go right now. She won’t mind that much anyway as your home and your car aren’t up to her standards anyway.

OrgyOfBarminess · 22/08/2018 09:21

£200 on a suit and she's skint?!

I'd get her a pop up tent and stick her in the sodding garden cheeky shit.

OrgyOfBarminess · 22/08/2018 09:24

Oh and I'd get her a bus/train timetable and an assortment of takeaway menus and dump all her shit including a compact mirror in said tent.

Goodbye my 'friend'