To think I should never open my mouth again?

[SophieSellerman]

On the phone to British Gas first thing this morning. Give them bill reference, using the phonetic alphabet because I am very clever. Only I somehow manage to say "Y for Wanky".

Then visit my chiropractor, who has Form where women are concerned. We talk about cars. I tell him I am windswept because I had the convertible roof open.

"You do know it isn't sunny?" says he.

"Yes, but I like to have it off as much as possible," I reply.

I would like to think he hadn't noticed, but his reply suggested that he had.

IABU to think I am a liability and ought to be gagged for the whole of the rest of eternity?

Keep talking, you've amused at least two people! 😂😂

😂

goo.gl/images/MwgQGS

Am now turning to wine to try to take the edge off it. I have not recovered from the optimistic look on the chiropractor's face.

I recently announced that I was the sausage lover of the family in a cafe. My family left so they could laugh outside. I may end up with a mug with this on for my birthday, I will use it with pride.

Not until you've told us how British Gas responded...

I think I might love you, OP

I used to work for British Gas. This would have been up there with the time I had to call Mr Shitler.

bloody awesome

Y for wanky is so funny!

DarkChoc, that makes me feel a whole lot better.

Anouk, the British Gas conversation went a bit wrong at that point, because I became all flustered by the Wanky thing and then couldn't read straight. We had to start again. I didn't use the phonetic alphabet the second time round.

Yourenotcrazy Mr Shitler

I give you N for knickers!

They still laugh at this, I wear it with pride as someone who loves sausages. The man serving didn't bat an eyelid so I think I was perfectly normal. It's probably not the worse thing I have said to be honest.

If it makes you feel better I used to work in a call centre @SophieSellerman and once I had a fully trained customer service agent sat next to me say Q for Cucumber to a customer

:)

When I was at school we were talking about the heating on a cold day and were deciding whether to turn the radiator off or not. I said it was better to have it off (than on). But of course I didn't say the "than one" bit. Oh how the class laughed. And how embarrassed I was!

I once told the GP my husband said I was hot in bed. Sadly it was menopausal hot. The GP laughed out loud. Very loud.

I can see this thread becoming a MN classic.

Since that day (and it has been backed up on many an occasion), I have subscribed to the view that it is better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool and to open it and remove all doubt.

Except on the internet, obviously.

THAN to open it.

Y for wanky
Q for cucumber
N for knickers

I'm a teacher and was once walking round the classroom collecting in sheets. The only boy in the room (Y11s) made to get up and pass me his and I said, "Don't move- I'll take it from behind!" I don't know who felt worse - me or him .

I recently watched "Night of the Living Dead".
Admittedly the Rifftrax version on Amazon.
You'd like it op. There's a character you'd identify with. He was a sheriff and was happily telling a news reporter that he'd beaten off lots of the undead and was looking forwards to beating off some more.
I was laughing so hard it hurt.

Well I just realised that I applied for a job a few years ago and opened the cover letter with the following sentence:

'I have enjoyed a number of interesting and challenging positions in my career'

FFS! I should be gagged with you

OH MY GOD! I thought I was the only one that had accidentally said ‘Y for wanky’ on the phone to some insurance people...in front of a full office of colleagues and they have never let me live it down!! 😱😂😂