To think I should never open my mouth again?

[SophieSellerman]

On the phone to British Gas first thing this morning. Give them bill reference, using the phonetic alphabet because I am very clever. Only I somehow manage to say "Y for Wanky".

Then visit my chiropractor, who has Form where women are concerned. We talk about cars. I tell him I am windswept because I had the convertible roof open.

"You do know it isn't sunny?" says he.

"Yes, but I like to have it off as much as possible," I reply.

I would like to think he hadn't noticed, but his reply suggested that he had.

IABU to think I am a liability and ought to be gagged for the whole of the rest of eternity?

In the queue at Costa with DP, looking at which cake to get. We get to the till and I turn to DP and ask him ‘do you want a wee tart?’ Did not sound the way I intended .

Can I offer up (as part of my post code to the Council Tax Office) 'F for Off' 😱

I am loving these. Whatelse, we can be the Wanky Twins.

Sparkle, if you were interviewed, did they ask you to elaborate on said positions?

Duchess, I'd have left teaching at that point.

Running, I am so glad I had only a slightly louche chiropractor as my audience.

Once had a customer who said u for Eunice

But b for bumble bee was the one that made me laugh so much I had to put customer on hold 😏

A colleague on the phone to a customer who is quoting a reference v e r y. S l o w l y.... X for..... errr...... Christmas 😂😂

I used to work in a call centre and y for wanky used to happen all the time! I used to be choking back the laughter pretending it hadn’t happened

F for Off 🤣🤣

Reminds me that my Granny used to give the last two letters of her postcode as "F for Fanny and N for Nora". Oh how we laughed as teenagers.

Also did Y for wanky to a customer many years ago

I am relieved to hear that I am not the only one with a Wanky problem. I will never ring a call centre again, though, as I know I will be so obsessed with not saying Wanky that I will say exactly that.

I work in a team where the other women are permanently cold and during a conversation about this I announced "I'm the hot one in the team!" Cringe. Team knew context but I think those nearby just thing I'm overly confident about my looks

F for Off That's perfect, Chaffy.

I have nothing to share. I'm just marking my place to enjoy this thread later.

I once had someone say 'n for Nazi' how is that the first word you think of?

I have fallen into the "I'm so hot" trap, too, with my teenage DD. She gave me the Withering Look of Doom.

I am now chuckling away at N for Nazi, Scotstar. Better than N for Nickers, à la Pommes.

On a date recently the guy told me he went to an all boy school...i said i would have hated to have gone to an all girls school and would have preferred being a female at an all boys school. Then I heard it.
Thank God I knew him and he just thought it was hilarious that a) I worked it out whilst saying it and b) that i said it anyway haha.

I had to call the bank re a text I received.

Hello, X Bank, how can I help you? Says the switchboard person.

Hello, I’m calling about a sex, no, erm, I had a text message.

OP They didn't mention it - and I didn't even get the job!

Only noticed recently as I was applying for a new job. I made sure to use the term 'role' rather than 'position' this time though.

I used to go swimming at the same time each week and started chatting to a guy who was often there...just passing comments or hellos.

A while later we ran into each other at the supermarket. He stopped to stay hello but I struggled to place him for a few seconds and so opened the conversation with “sorry I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on”!!!!????! I have never been so embarrassed and could feel the eyes of passers by on me!!

duchess 😂😂😂 that made me proper laugh

When my DS was in about Y2, he used to go to an after-school fun fitness club called 'Let's Get Physical'. One particular week, I wasn't sure whether it was running or not, so I sent the very prim school secretary an email to ask and realised just as the mail was sending that I'd used the subject line 'Let's get physical later'.

Just to help you for next time

A for arse
B for bum
C for clitoris
D for dildo
E for erection
F for fornication
G for gonads
H for horny
I for i think I’m coming
J for jerk off
K for knob
L for labia

Oh sod it I give up. There’s a whole dictionary on here. Go knock yourself out (or have some wanky panky). www.gettingiton.org.uk/sex-a-to-z/K

But there’s nothing for y or z on the dictionary. So I vote we keep wanky and the only thing I can think of is z for zizi, which means willy in French. Let’s hope for bilingual customer service representatives.

the only one i can think of is when i was a teenager, me and my DM were walking to shops. she wanted to go one way and i wanted to go the other, i said my way was shorter. she replied “yes but only by inches”

i said “but its the inches that matter”

she burst out laughing and i pretended not to have noticed what i said

Why is Y for wanky?

Correctly it's Y for Yankee.

I used to work in a travel agents and said Y for wanky many times 😂