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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unhappy about this?

201 replies

cokezeroandice · 12/08/2018 08:47

DD has a summer job. She is away with friends until Wednesday, she gets back sometime around midday.

She got her rota for next week and between Wednesday evening and Sunday she has over 45 hours.

AIBU to tell them (with DDs consent) that it is far too much? She has college work to get ready, she will want to see her friends and most of all those sort of hours (starting at half six, not getting back till half nine) will drain her and exhaust her.

She’s worried and upset about it.

OP posts:
PaulRuddislush · 12/08/2018 08:49

It's up to her, no idea why you're telling them.

Shoxfordian · 12/08/2018 08:49

It's probably a good idea to encourage her to tell them herself that she can't do that many hours. Was she being given this many all summer?

LongSummerDays · 12/08/2018 08:50

It's her job, not yours.

Up to your dd if she says anything, not you.

glintandglide · 12/08/2018 08:51

Agree it’s up to her, it doesn’t sound much for a younger person with minimal commitments though. Summer is when you go in hard with the working!

Original poster
cokezeroandice · 12/08/2018 08:51

She has been doing it since the start of August.

She had to do some training in the first week and then had 23 hours over two days and I know she was exhausted and quite low in her mood.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 12/08/2018 08:51

If she’s old enough to have a job she’s old enough to discuss her working hours with them herself. Why would you do it?

Doyoumind · 12/08/2018 08:52

It is a lot of hours but it's only for a few days and it is possible to do it for that short burst. The reality is that if you complain she will lose the job. That's the decision really. Does she want the job or not? Does she want to earn or see her friends?

Whatever happens, it should be her not you contacting them.

Original poster
cokezeroandice · 12/08/2018 08:52

45 hours over four days doesn’t sound much? Really?

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 12/08/2018 08:53

She’s old enough to deal with this herself.

glintandglide · 12/08/2018 08:53

No, I used to do 3 jobs over the summer. It’s all about the money honey!

BertrandRussell · 12/08/2018 08:54

That’s a lot of hours. How old is she and what is she doing?

PurpleFlower1983 · 12/08/2018 08:54

45 hours over 4 days isn’t that much OP, many people do 12 hour shifts.

Original poster
cokezeroandice · 12/08/2018 08:54

She would love to lose the job and I would love her to lose it.

The problem is they will put the guilt trip on and I don’t think she’d be able to resist it. Which is why I want to ring up with a firm ‘this is too much.’

OP posts:
Original poster
cokezeroandice · 12/08/2018 08:55

Purple yes, they do, but these are split shifts with no time to come home in between so she’s stuck out from 6 in the morning until gone 9 at night and that will start again Monday.

OP posts:
barleyfive · 12/08/2018 08:56

It should be up to her to tell them if she is unable to cope with the hours, but agreed that summer is an excellent time to get the hours in.

glintandglide · 12/08/2018 08:56

She needs to use this as a learning point- if she wants to quit she needs to realise she can, and deal with the guilt tripping

Doyoumind · 12/08/2018 08:57

If she would love to lose the job she hasn't really got the right attitude. You aren't helping by offering to step in.

If she doesn't want the job why not just be totally irresponsible and not turn up?

Original poster
cokezeroandice · 12/08/2018 08:57

The point is that while I understand that others may do it differently and that is up to them, DD was looking for part time hours.

She has college work to do and she is also wanting to see friends she values and cares about, and me, and her brother.

Plus and most importantly she simply isn’t good at her job when she’s exhausted and run down.

OP posts:
Original poster
cokezeroandice · 12/08/2018 08:58

Because she’s a decent person Doyoumind, the job is with the elderly and she wouldn’t just refuse to turn up and leave an elderly person hungry and alone.

OP posts:
ShumpaLumpa · 12/08/2018 08:58

Stop babying her OP. I was a 16yo and managed to tell my boss that I was resigning due to his unprofessional behaviour.

If she wants to leave, tell her to send an email or letter saying she is resigning.

SoyDora · 12/08/2018 08:59

She would love to lose the job and I would love her to lose it

Then why doesn’t she just quit?! I’m confused. I assume she isn’t being held at gun point to go to work?
If she doesn’t want the job she needs to resign. Not get her mum to phone in and complain for her. What is the point of that?
If she’s old enough to work and old enough to go away with friends, she’s old enough to take responsibility for her own working hours (or to resign if it’s not working for her). I’m actually a bit shocked you’d be considering phoning for her.

Oldbutstillgotit · 12/08/2018 09:00

My DD would have been beyond mortified if I had phoned her boss to complain about her hours !

Iknowwhoyouare123 · 12/08/2018 09:00

Oh don't 'phone on her behalf, she'll look ridiculous.

Jellycatspyjamas · 12/08/2018 09:00

If she doesn’t want to work there she can resign. I really don’t understand parents who think they can/should negotiate with their DCs employer. If she is old enough to hold down a job she’s old enough to learn to manage all that comes with it, including being clear about what she can and can’t commit to.

SoyDora · 12/08/2018 09:00

The point is that while I understand that others may do it differently and that is up to them, DD was looking for part time hours

Then she can resign on that basis?
In all your posts you haven’t explained why you need to be doing the phoning rather than her doing it herself.