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AIBU?

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Original poster

To refuse to sacrifice my holidays

320 replies

Jackfruitburger · 11/08/2018 08:47

We are moving into a bigger house next week which will cost an extra £300 in mortgage payments monthly. We are obviously going to have to make some cut backs.
Here's what I think dp should stop;
Buying a bottle of wine 3 times a week
Buying lunch out every day
Here's what dp has suggested we stop;
Holidays (all, even in the UK, camping etc)

I think that what I'm asking is reasonable as it doesn't contribute to the overall happiness of the house. I've already said I'll buy all our clothes secondhand and switch to Aldi/Lidl and we're getting rid of Virgin. I spend 22p a day on my lunch and haven't had a professional hair cut in ten years. I don't want to give up the one bit of happiness I have left!

OP posts:
Stirner · 11/08/2018 08:48

So basically you want your partner to cut back on the things he likes but you don't have to ? Yeah. No.

Fireworks91 · 11/08/2018 08:51

I would say there was a middle ground. He ditches buying lunch every day as that is just silly, but has wine at the weekend and you cut down on holidays.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 11/08/2018 08:51

You don't know how you're going to afford the increase in cost a week before you move in? Shouldn't you have had these arguments a long time ago?

Dadsbigsausages · 11/08/2018 08:51

Ridiculous to buy lunch out every day when the household needs to save money.

hidinginthenightgarden · 11/08/2018 08:51

You could easily compromise here. He buys less wine and lunches but doesn't stop completely. Have holidays every other year rather than every year.

MarthasGinYard · 11/08/2018 08:52

Bloody hell with those sacrifices I'd have stayed put.

To get to the point where you are watching the Cost of the odd bottle of wine.

AnalUnicorn · 11/08/2018 08:53

If you are already cutting back to the bone in order to afford the mortgage, have you considered how you will cope when interest rates rise ?

ScreamingValenta · 11/08/2018 08:54

Have you made a full budget of everything you spend in the month? If your partner already has a much bigger personal spend, it's reasonable, but otherwise you should find things to cut back on too.

As for holidays, do you normally have more than one? If you can afford it, having one holiday a year, even if a cheap one, is good for everyone. I would try to budget for it, even if it's just one week at a cheap camp site.

peachypetite · 11/08/2018 08:54

Why are you adding £300 a month if you cannot afford it?

BrutusMcDogface · 11/08/2018 08:55

How do you spend 22p on your lunch?!

I agree he really shouldn't be buying lunch every day if you're trying to cut costs, but I also agree that you should have been clear on this before you agreed to increase your mortgage.

Original poster
Jackfruitburger · 11/08/2018 08:57

We can afford it but we're just trying to stay realistic and keep saving (in case the interest rates go up etc) so don't want to spend unnecessarily.

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 11/08/2018 08:57

Stirner

Yeah. No.

Wtf does this mean?! Hmm

mimibunz · 11/08/2018 08:58

Penny wise, pound foolish?

runbeerrunbeer · 11/08/2018 08:58

Sorry but I think this should have been discussed and agreed before you bought the house. Honestly, you have completely different views on this and I don't think it was a wise idea to buy a house that you have already got the disposable income available for.
For what it's worth, I'd say bought lunches should go but the rest I wouldn't be happy with going.

MingeUterusMingeMingeYoni · 11/08/2018 08:58

I presume the 22p on OPs lunch is the cost of two slices of bread, some cheese and a banana from the weekly shop. Or similar.

Doyoumind · 11/08/2018 08:58

If it's that much bigger that it's going to be an extra £300 a month on the mortgage might you not also be spending more on council tax and heating? Have you factored those things into your budget?

flamingofridays · 11/08/2018 08:59

have you considered how you will cope when interest rates rise ?

Presumably they will have a fixed rate mortgage so won't have to consider that for 2-5 years?

Hoopaloop · 11/08/2018 08:59

Are you eating 1.5 bananas for lunch every day?

WhiteDust · 11/08/2018 08:59

Sounds miserable all round to me.

Do you have to move house?
If a bigger house = no disposable income I'd think again.
if you're already committed, you need to take a look st the finances to see where you can all compromise.

Storm4star · 11/08/2018 08:59

As others have said. It seems you really can’t afford this increased mortgage and maybe were foolish to take it on. You are putting yourselves in a very risky position if money is that tight.

But no, it’s not fair to ask your DP to give up everything. A compromise needs to be found.

runbeerrunbeer · 11/08/2018 09:00

*Have not got the disposable income for

BakedBeans47 · 11/08/2018 09:00

Bit late I know but I wouldn’t be moving! Second hand clothes and none of the wee bits of fun that enhance quality of life just to live in a ‘better’ house?

BakedBeans47 · 11/08/2018 09:01

Are you eating 1.5 bananas for lunch every day?

Or a dry sandwich baguette from
Lidl. They’re 22p

SpiritedLondon · 11/08/2018 09:01

Presumably the holidays are for the benefit of the whole family though? I would work out how much his lunches out and wine are costing. If I buy lunch and a coffee at work I can easily spend between £5-£10. Plus presumably £15 - £20 per week for wine. So at the lower end of the scale he’s spending £160 ish a month ? Does he really want the family to do without holidays so he can eat a panini everyday? I would suggest he takes a packed lunch and reduces the wine to maybe a bottle on a Friday or Saturday and save the money he would have spent on lunch separately. This could maybe be your holiday fund. The rest of the family are already making sacrifices re clothing etc so it’s not just a sacrifice he’s making. I know it’s a pain making lunches but it is a ridiculous waste of money compared to making your own ( and I love a lunch from Pret)

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 11/08/2018 09:01

Frankly OP, you're screwed. If the most you can cut from the weekly budget is under £100, you'll lose the new house when the rates go up.

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